Etiquette Snob here… lol
I don’t know where you live but the custom in North America is slightly different from other places (here the Bridal Party pay for their attire)
I feel for you… being in the Bridal Party is not cheap.
BUT I also get really upset when I read these types of posts (you are not alone)… because more than anything the Bride (or Groom) having been communicating with their Attendants about what role they are expected to play… and in particular WHO pays for what
In traditonal etiquette (vs modern)… the expenses would be offset a bit more fairly IMO
For whatever reason, people don’t seem to be doing this anymore… which IMO is a HUGE SHAME. It is rather imposing IMO for the couple to ask someone to be in their Bridal Party and give up so much in exchange for soooo little. Highly unfair.
Based on your list…
* Members of the Bridal Party in NA are responsible for their overall outfits (ie Dress, Shoes, Hair, Make Up etc)
* If the Bride or Groom want something special & specific beyond the Dress / Suit then they’d pay for that item (ie specific shoes, hair done a particular way, shirt & tie)
* More often than not in exchange for the kind use of any children for the Bridal Party, the Couple picks up all costs for said children (clothing)… as it is understood that children don’t travel alone… and just like any other member of the Bridal Party the child’s accommodations etc are also covered (see below)
* Travel to the Wedding Location (town) is the reponsibility of the Bridal Party
* BUT transportation from the Accommodations to the Wedding Ceremony Site and the Reception and back to the Accommodations are the responsibiility of the Couple
* Accommodations for the Bridal Party are on the Couple (usually 2 Nights… one Before the Wedding / Rehearsal and the one of the Day / Night of the Wedding)
* The member of the Bridal Party is expected to participate in as many Pre-Wedding Events as possible… maybe even Host a Shower in lieu of a Gift to the Bride (if they don’t host a shower, then the Bridesmaids give a joint gift to the Bride… Groomsmen & Ushers do the same for the Groom)
* Members of the Bridal Party are still expected to give a Wedding Gift to the Couple
* The Couple invite the Bridal Party (and a Plus One) to all Wedding Weekend events… such as the Rehearsal Dinner – Ceremony – and Reception
* The Bride typically throws a “Thank You” Event for her Bridesmaids, and presents them with their Thank You Gifts which she has hand chosen for each girl (and her personality… Thank You Gifts are not meant to be all matchy-matchy). The Groom does similar for his guys.
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Anyhow, that is how “Traditonal Etiquette” would go.
Which means IN YOUR PARTICULAR CASE… you and your Hubby would be looking at the following expenses only:
- The wedding is out of state and airfare tickets costs us about $1000 for the 3 of us..
- We are renting a car because it will be easier to get around with my son and car seat which is about $150…. (possibly… altho if your little guy is the Ring Bearer, I’d be either paying for this as the Couple, or at least half of it)
- The bridesmaids dresses chosen is about $200 excluding alterations,
- And the Wedding Present $ 200
And that would be it for you … aprox $ 1550
The rest would be on the couple
Unfortunately… very few couples follow these more “considerate” guidelines these days… and more and more Bridal Parties are feeling the pinch, as well as being ABUSED by the modern day Bride & Groom IMO