Post # 47
I would not be giving a $200 gift if I was paying for all that. Sorry if that makes me a bitch, but too many Brides & Grooms do not take into consideration what they are asking of people. My last name does not end with TRUMP.
Having said that, since the airfare can’t be avoided it is what it is. All the other costs seem pretty standard. however, I don’t like being forced to pick THEIR accomodations if there are cheaper alternataives. The make up should be covered by the bride since its required. And I’d be pissed about having to pay for $130 for shoes. I think certain accessories if they are a must for a bride and her prefered look she should absolutely pay for them. But that’s just me. I would never ask my girls to pay more than $150 for a dress. In my mind if I want something above that price point, than its on me to cover all costs above that.
Post # 48
because you are spending that amount, you don’t also need to give a gift.
i paid $100 each towards the $150 Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I picked, i am paying for hair and makeup,
shoes and jewelry are on their own. i told them they could wear what they had or buy new, i just wanted to see it first.
my BMs got a hotel room even though they are local
only 1 wedding party member has to travel, he is paying for flight, hotel, and tux rental.
if your bride is requiring you to have hair and makeup she should pay, otherwise, professional styling should be optional.
Post # 49
the accomodation was supposed to be provided for without the extra cost to us but they overlooked how much weddings cost and freaking out about the total cost of their wedding.. everyone else seems fine with paying the extra cost but me 🙁 but at the same time, they are all better off financially than we are too. My brother’s Fiance makes good money and her other BMs too so they dicussed the expensive dresses because they can all afford it..
Post # 50
That’s really nice of you to do that for them! I just received an email and the only thing that the bride will be covering is the hair and the makeup I will do on my own. Would it be weird if i had different shoes from all of the other BMs? I was hoping to find similar shoes on ebay..
Post # 51
Ya unfortunatly the only things your not responsible for are hair/make-up, (you can technically do that yourself…if…however the bride is insisting all the Bridesmaid or Best Man do it, then she should be paying). The hotel….well, unless your in some contract with them about where you stay you can do a cheaper place if you’d like to!!! Cutting those out might save a few hundred bucks!
Post # 52
The airfare and hotel seems normal and wouldn’t be covered by the bride and groom. The dresses are normal but also not cheap, and the shoes are ridiculous. You should get to pick your own shoes or they should pay. Same for hair and makeup. I haven’t read the whole thread yet but can your son skip the tux?
I’m sorry 🙁 Weddings are expensive. My family is flying from out-of-state for my wedding and the travel sure adds up quick.
Post # 53
I am really trying to keep the cost down for my girls because I know how much it stinks to have to put that much money into someone else’s wedding, but sadly it’s just an expensive thing.
Post # 54
Well i wouldn’t appeciate the bait and switch frankly. Don’t tell me your covering something, and then last minute be like “Oh by the way”.. Oh by the way NOTHING. But again, I tend to be a bitch like that LOL.
Post # 55
my girls are wearing short dresses and each one is wearing different shoes. it doesn’t bother me that the shoes won’t match. but that is up to each bride.
actually, one of my BMs is wearing the same shoes as me. i wore them to my bridal shower, then decided to wear them to the wedding i went to on saturday to break them in, and no one will see them under my dress.
Post # 56
I guess my thing with the hotel/room is that it might be tough to find a hotel for a significant savings, spending less than $100 for 3 people. I’m not saying it can’t be done, but factoring in potential convenience (via location) and hassle in finding a new hotel, it wouldn’t be worth it to me.
I’m confused about the shoes. It sounds like it’s the other BMs who want to have matching shoes? Which implies that the bride should not be blamed for that. (Infact, good for her for sticking up and keeping the dress cost down.)
The only thing that really strikes me as potentially inconsiderate is the hair/make-up thing. Is this something the bride is requiring, or is it something the other BMs said they wanted? I mean, with 5 out of 6 BMs saying they’ll pay for hair/make-up, it leaves the 6th in a very awkward position, also not of the bride’s fault. (What is she supposed to say, you’re not allowed to get your hair/make-up done?)
All in all, I would count the dress, shoes, hair/make-up as the cost of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. That totals to… $480. With the bulk of the cost being the shoes/hair/make-up.
Cost for son’s tux: $100.
Cost of husband’s stuff: $100.
Cost to be there an extra day: $150 (one day hotel, one day car). I’m assuming you wouldn’t just fly out on Sunday, leave Monday.
Total for 3 people to be involved: $830.
I think if you could figure out the shoes/hair/make-up thing ($280 total), bring the total “extra cost” to $550, you’d be coming out pretty well.
Post # 57
That all sounds pretty much right. I know it’s not fun adding up those numbers but it’s what we do to be a part of that special persons day. In the end it’s totally worth it.
I’ve only been a Bridesmaid or Best Man once and in the end the total cost for everything was around $1500. I’m going to be in a bridal party either next year or the following year that’s destination so I’m sure that’s going to be even more expensive. I just need to plan accordingly and save as much as possible.