Post # 1
We finally decided on having a destination wedding. We narrowed it down to Mexico or the Dominican Republic. We are on a budget, but I don’t want to go to a 2-3 star resort, I’d rather stay somewhere very nice and pay the extra money.
So my question is, how much is too much for guests to pay? The resorts I am interested in would cost my guests approximately $1000-1100 per person. That is for a 4 night stay at an all inclusive resort, including airfair. There are many resorts much less expensive but if they choose to stay somewhere else the day pass for the wedding is $100 per person. I really don’t want to pay that. I’m talking about my immediate family here, parents and siblings. When I asked them how much is reasonable they wouldn’t give me an answer. I get generic answers like, I have good credit, I’m just going to charge it.
It makes me feel bad, I don’t want them to add that much to their debt for my wedding just because I’m picky about where I want to stay.
Post # 3
Honestly, you’re really asking a different question… How much are your guests willing to pay for a vacation? Some might start saving now, others might charge it. You can’t worry about whether they can afford it, as long as you offer different options. For example, if you can find a less expensive hotel or resort, that might help as a second choice for people who are on the fence. Your role is to host your wedding and reception. If you can afford more, then host a rehearsal dinner and day after brunch too.
Post # 4
Before we nailed down our deposit, I simply said “We’re looking at about 1500 per person for 4 nights. Does that seem managable for you?” They all said yes, and I’m not going to ask how they’re paying for it. I know its expensive, but I am also not in charge of their finances. To “sweeten the deal” we just are hosting other events and activities, and considering doing a spa credit per room so guests could have a treat people/after the wedding. If you buy from the resort in bulk, they’ll give you a discount.
Post # 5
Our guests are also spending about 1000-1100 each. It is all-inclusive including airfaire. We were really nervous that people would be offended, but almost everyone is really excited and acting like it’s fine. We also wanted something a little nicer, and also adults only (a few people are mad about that), but we figured if they can’t afford it, or don’t want to pay for it, and can’t find a sitter 6 months in advance(short notice I know), then they don’t have to come. We did ask everyone if they would be willing to travel without their children, and also let them know the place was “pricey”. Everyone said okay. We have had one person show concern about children not being allowed, but they originally said they had no problem with it. We would not change our wedding venue and plans for a two year old though.
I think it’s reasonable, as long as you do not expect people to come. Not sure how much notice you are giving. We only gave 5 months, but are having probably clsoe to 20, and never expected that….not even close. We though maybe 4 would come!!
Post # 6
Our guest are paying about 1400 for 7 days with air fare. To make it easier on my family i did not buy gift for any of my immediate family for christmas. I covered the deposit on the trip which was 200 pp. So for christmas I spent about 2000 on deposits but it was worth it because it was so appreciated especially by my brother who is paying for himself his wife an 2 kids so it made me happy to be able to knock 800 off his tab!
Post # 7
Nycbride–That is so nice! We are paying for half of our mom’s trips. They are both single and coming solo. I think paying the deposits for your fam is super nice.
Post # 8
$1100. i have sticker shock. i would offer options–your main site and then a more affordable option/hotel for people to consider as well.
if people are saying “i have good credit. im going to charge it.” that basically means–they dont currently have $1100, and w/interest that trip is going to cost them way more than $1100. definitely be sensitive to that, especially if it’s your immediate family. they probably dont want to be impolite and flat out say, “i dont have $1100!”
it’s your family so you know their finances…
Post # 9
I am currently in a wedding in the DR, to be held in April. It is not at a resort (totally different area) for a long list of reasons. I travel a bit, and $1000-$1100 including airfare really isn’t bad, but here is a major suggestion I have…PLEASE be communicative with your guests about costs, any additional costs they will encure, and also, make it clear that as the expense is great you understand that not everyone will be able to make it, etc. And reiterate it.
The issues I an encoutering as a Bridesmaid or Best Man are quite numerous and unrelated to the Destination Wedding factor, but being told ‘I had to be there’ did not make me want to spend the money.
Post # 10
I think aruond 1k is reasonable to ask a guest to pay. When we went to a Destination Wedding in New Orleans that’s about how much it cost us to go for about 4 days as well.
Post # 11
I think you can pick whatever hotel you want, but if they can’t afford it, they should have the option to stay at another place. It’s nice that they come and will be spending a lot of money on airfare alone, but it’s still for a wedding, not just a vacation for themselves – if they stay someplace else, you should cover their $100 day pass to be able to attend your wedding, since that is what they’re there for.
With that said, $1100 for 4 nights including airfare ($2200 a couple) is a lot of money, but pretty reasonable considering it’s all inclusive and they know ahead of time.
Post # 12
Thanks for all the responses and advise. I’ll give them a few options of resorts to stay at but I’m pretty sure that they would stay at the same one as me just so we could all spend time together. I only get a chance to see them once a year and it’s usually at Christmas time. It’s good to know that $1100 isn’t too unreasonable for someone to spend on a vacation.
@nycbride paying the deposit is such a great idea! I may just have to see about paying some towards everyones trip.
The funny thing is, my parents wouldn’t have a problem spending 5k on a cruise, just because they love, love, love to cruise! They are actually trying to get me to have a Destination Wedding on a cruise ship. I said, find an adults only affordable cruise and I may just change my mind about the cruise ship wedding! Unfortunitely, I don’t think that those exist!
Post # 13
We are having our wedding in Jamaica at a resort that I would call “middle of the road”. Its not superfantastic but for many of my guests who have never traveled, it will do. The cost is about $900 pp for a 4 night stay. Those who may not feel that its up to par are staying elsewhere and coming over the day of.
Post # 14
We decided on a 4 star in Mexico and I really tried to stay under $1500 for 5 nights. With that said, price varies so much depending on when people book so the earlier the better. As long as you are okay with people not being able to go, I think you’re on the right track.
Post # 14
mrlddst: details please!!! I don’t think my family can afford over $1k. 🙁
Post # 15
Lol! We are having an adults only wedding on a cruise ship. I think I will block out the other people. It works for us because some family guests can just go to the wedding without having to sail. That being said, more than half are sailing.