(Closed) How much is TOO much

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How often do you have to bring up engagement to be considered a "nag"?
    Multiple times a week : (3 votes)
    15 %
    Once a week : (8 votes)
    40 %
    Once every couple of weeks : (5 votes)
    25 %
    Once a month : (3 votes)
    15 %
    Once every 1 to 3 months : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Once every 3-6 months : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think i fall into the nag category for sure!  I dont bring it up intentionally but something will make me mention weddings. For one thing I’m attending a family wedding this summer, one of my good friends just got engaged. And we are contanstly asked by our family and friends when we are getting engaged. And that will led to a conversation. I think it depends 1. how often you mention it, and also who brough it up. If its a third party and I comment on it I dont feel like its my fault. AHAHHA, but I use it as an excuse to add on. Who knows I may be sabatagoing myself. O wells 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    1279 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Oh… this is the age old question for us Waiting Bees! I personally try not to bring it up at all… we have had the discussion – Yes, we want to be married at some stage. Discussed the reasons why we are waiting and so for me to bring it up just really adds to the stress of waiting.

    I know it is frustrating. There is nothing I would love more than to have a nice sparkly ring on my finger and to know for sure that we are heading down the aisle… but until the reason we are waiting actually goes away, I have to be patient and trust that it will happen.

    That said, there are many times when the idea of marriage and weddings comes up naturally, and I always take advantage of this! His sister recently got married so we spent a lot of time talking about what we loved about her wedding (all of it – so perfect for them!) and why that wedding wouldnt work for us. We discussed our ideas for what we would love in a wedding.

    Your guy seems to have comitted to a timeline of when you would like to be married and so it seems like your wait won’t be too long – so I would really try to just relax and enjoy being together. Boys do want to feel like they are surprising us with the proposal, so if you constantly talk about it, he might find he never has an opportunity to surprise you with it!

    But once a month doesn’t seem like too often to bring it up – just as long as it is not an inquisition over when and where and how. Little snippets on “wouldn’t that be great for our wedding” or showing him what married life would be like should be all it takes.

    Good luck – hope he doesnt keep you waiting too long!

    Post # 5
    Member
    938 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    OMG I just saw that our anniversaries are the same month! I’m trying not to bring it up before then too. Mine’s 8/17, when is yours? We can support each other getting to our first anniversary!

    Post # 6
    Member
    645 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I actually “proposed” to my fi every morning before he went to work. for us it became a funny little inside joke. there was no nagging involved durning the  times we were looking at rings or taking about getting married. it was all in fun.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3588 posts
    Sugar bee

    I do bad with this also! I don’t bring it up as in WHEN, MAN? but more in wedding ideas and OOT bags. ( my current obsession) I do think about it a lot because I am close to your age and I totally understand. We also haven’t been together long-1yr 7 months- but at 29and 32, it’s different, at least in my eyes.

    I think if the topic comes up naturally, then it’s okay, but going on about WHEN he will do it is going too far.

    (Know something? I never knew how old you were, but now I understand why I often like your advice!LOL)

    Post # 8
    Member
    938 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @artwyopie:OMG that is awesome! you are a confident woman 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee

    I try not to talk about it unless things come up naturally.  But my guy is very traditional, so it’s a bit different than with some of you other ladies.

    That being said, I think it’s different for everyone depending on your relationship, which is part of what makes this such a hard question for all of us to answer!  I don’t think there’s an official formula about how much is too much.

    Post # 10
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Mmmm…I bring it up in a round-a-bout way every other day. That is, I don’t nag about us getting married per se, but I will make a joke about engagements or rings, or a sideways comment about another couple getting married, etc…just to keep it in the forefront of his mind 😉 sometimes I worry I am being nagging but we’ve actually made a couple baby steps in moving forward lately so I think it’s ok..I could probably lay off the comments bc he knows how badly I wanna get married already, I don’t need to keep up the commentary but I just can’t help it sometimes!

    Post # 12
    Member
    122 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I was bringing it up a lot, and my Fiance told me that every time I brought it up, the longer he would take to propose! So I shut up, and sure enough he proposed in a month 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    938 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    Good for you!!! I’ve already slipped up…he told me yesterday that one of our couple-friends got engaged yesterday and I said I was jealous. Well, it was true!!! And it was on their 1 year anniversary, too.

    I think I’d feel more encouraged to shut up until the 17th if I thought there was a good chance it would happen that day.

    The topic ‘How much is TOO much’ is closed to new replies.

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