Post # 1
Today is my first day using Weddingbee.
I decided to join because after reading some of the posts I truly can relate to a lot of brides and I would appreciate maybe some words of encouragement from someone that understands or an opinion on my situation.
My Fiance and I have been engaged for close to 3 months. We have been doing a lot of the planning together and will be paying for most of the wedding with some help from our parents.
Every time we book a vendor or share how much someone quoted us, everyone seems to think we are spending too much money. I’ve done a lot of research online about the average cost of a wedding, the average cost of photographer, DJ, videographer, florist, etc. I think we are on the right track as far as vendors here in California. But some people don’t seem to think so. How much is too much?
I just feel so bad when someone says, “you should’ve saved your money and fixed up your house” or “you’re spending waaaaaaaaaaay too much money”
anyone going thru the same thing? or anyone that has booked the majority of their vendors already and can give me some advice on cost.
Thank you all!
Post # 3
edited with prices– 750 for reception spot– plus food-
710 for cake
1506 for dress- not included alterations
234 for 3 suits
32.99 for flower girl dress
2710 for decor and flowers– 828 is flowers the rest is rentals
dj for 6 hours is 650
2300 for photographers- 2 shooters start time is 11 am they will leave at 11 pm
Post # 4
there is a very easy solution for this. Stop telling people how much you’re spending. It’s none of their business.
There’s no such thing as “too much or too little.” How much a couple spends on their wedding is completely up to them, (as are their financial priorities).
Don’t feel bad.
Post # 5
Short answer: too much is if its more than you can afford. I’m not sure who is so rude to ask you specifics of numbers, because not a single friend of mine asked cost details of my wedding unless they were also planning a wedding as well. Next time, just give them the biggest range you can think of and tell them you’re still deciding. 🙂
My real numbers:
- photog: 3k
- dj: 1400
- cake: 400
- flowers: 800
- dress, shoes, accessories: 500?
- Food/drinks: 13k
Post # 6
memorize these words: ” Thanks for your input. We’ll take into consideration”
Then do what you think is best for the two of you.
Post # 7
Most people don’t realize how much weddings cost until they plan one. For example, until I planned my wedding, I thought a 20K+ wedding had to be super extravagant.
Post # 8
Fiance parents thought the same thing. When they heard we were booking a city venue their were sure we’d be going into major debt….buuuttt….then, by coincidence, Fiance parents were at two of the same weddings as us and both of these weddings we’re pretty lavish. That made them realize that a) we weren’t being over-indulgent and b) the things we were doing were pretty standard.
They started singing a different tune after that.
Post # 9
@msfahrenheit: Thats exactly how I felt too. Before planning our wedding, I had no idea how expensive anything in the wedding industry was and how quickly things add up. We are paying for the majority of it ourselves (our parents are covering the catering and bar) but even with their help we are having a very hard time staying within our budget.
Post # 11
@pink pandabear: I am also in Cali, I dont think people realize just how much weddings cost, our budget is small at 10k, yet when people here that we are spending 10k, they are surpirsed, but its because they have never planned a wedding our got married decades ago in a church or courthouse, I generally keep my mouth shut about it but when it comes up people dont realize the average wedding cost 20-30k.
And here is our breakdown
and thats all we have so far, but we are going very minmal on flowers, only spending $600, and we are month twins!!! Where are you getting married?
Post # 12
Future Mother-In-Law thinks we are spending way too much. Fiance told her the catering estimate and she said “that’s almost as much as i spend on [FSIL]’s entire wedding”
For the record our catering estimate is $1,700 for 125 people. Which is ridiculously cheap. I’m glad Future Sister-In-Law was happy with her wedding with only 20 guests with a reception at a restaurant. That’s what she wanted. That’s not what I want.
Different weddings cost different amounts of money. Some people have no idea how much it costs to provide food and drinks to 100+ people. Let alone all the other fees and costs that go along with a wedding.
The best advice i have is do TONS of research. We have been looking around for a church for the past two months and haven’t found one we are happy with and could afford. We were worried we were going to have to shell out a lot of money to get what we wanted, but today we found a church that is everything we wanted and they don’t even offically have a fee…just whatever we want to donate. I researched A LOT to find the best possible “bang for my buck” and so far I am extremely happy with my choices.
Post # 13
The average wedding in America today is $20,000-$25,000 based on 100-150 guests.
So, how much is too much? Some rules:
1. You don’t want to start your marriage with a lot of debt – debt = fights, fights = bad marriage and divorce
2. You want to celebrate your day in the best fashion that you can afford without feeling or looking foolish. I.E., you don’t want a $50,000 princess wedding at Disney World, but a lovely $15,000 affair at a great venue with a garden ceremony is absolutely fine, necessary and desired with a big wedding cake, champagne toast and decent food/alcohol.
3. You want to make your family happy, but with restrictions. They can’t force you to do what you don’t want to do – weddings are an investment, but it is the one day where you can feel great about yourself, your love and a wonderful start for the first day of your new lives.
4. Check out your venue first and figure out what works for you. You can cut corners by getting less flowers, photography only and not a video, a smaller bridal party with simple, but nice shorter or tea-length dresses. Go to “trunk” sales when buying your wedding dress. Rent a party van for everyone instead of 2 or 3 limos. A buffet is cheaper than a sit-down dinner – a Sunday or Thursday event is cheaper than a Friday or Saturday event – a day event is much cheaper than an evening event.
Post # 14
I’m definitely having these thoughts, but, as others have said, keeping my mouth shut and only discussing finances with the people who are contributing (FI and my parents) makes it a lot easier. It is very difficult to read what others are spending on certain things and not second guess myself. So, to make everyone feel a little bit better about what they are spending, here are my “big-ticket” costs:
- Reception for 200 at a golf club, including venue, food, and alcohol: $15,000
- Photographs w/ 2 photographers for 8 hours, engagement shoot, rights to photos, guest book: $2400 (added on videographer for an additional $1200)
- Band: 8 piece cover band for 4 hours… This is our big splurge and I am almost embarressed at how much we are spending….: $6500
Currently we are looking at a $30,000 wedding. We are spending the money where we want to spend it, and will not be going into debt to do so. There are a lot of times I think, “Man, we could do so much with $30,000,” but I have been dreaming of this wedding for a very long time. I’m going to do it my way and I don’t care what anyone else thinks!