(Closed) How much is too much?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee

Personally, I think it is too much.  Showers where I am from are tea sandwhiches, sweets and punch at someone’s house.  Cost for that is about $100 total. 

Showers are becomin out of control these days, IMO. 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by andielovesj. Reason: I no spell good
Post # 3
Member
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

How much is your wedding going to be? Unless you’re also having a large, expensive wedding, my gut says $200 per person for that number of people is way more than most for a bridal shower. You also know your bridesmaids and what they might consider “too much.” I would tell your mom that you want to have a more low key, economical bridal shower and more involvement from your bridesmaids so she can “relax.”

Post # 4
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee

Also, are these other BM’s and Maid/Matron of Honor hosting the shower?  If they are involved in planning and picking then it’s up to them to select something that works with their budgets. 

Unfortunately, sometimes BMs are notified they are required to pay a certain amount strictly because they are BMs.  This is a no go.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Are they also lahing for travel, dresses, hair and make-up, accommodations for the wedding and a bachlorette?  That is a lot In addition to other costs.

Post # 6
Member
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Way too much IMHO!

Post # 7
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

This is one of the main reasons I have told my girls not to throw me a bridal shower for my upcoming wedding.  After the last wedding I was in, I vowed not to put anyone else though what I went through.  I love my bff and I would never, ever, repeat this to her but between the dress, alterations, shipping cost for miscellaneous items, the bridal shower, and her bachelorette party; being her maid of honor cost me slightly over $1200, not including her wedding gift.  This wouldn’t have been an issue now, however this was many years ago and at the time I was dealing with financial difficulties.  The other girls were not contributing as expected and it was just a mess.  My friend planned her wedding from another state and was/is oblivious about all of the issues within her bridal party.  She had a wonderful wedding and that’s what matters, but it made me all too aware of the financial responsibilities one takes on when being asked to participate in a wedding.

 

With that being said, you know your bridal party well and should use your own judgment.  Are they students or new in their careers? Unemployed? Paying down debt or student loans?  Living on one income with young children? Or established in their careers with regular incomes? 

Look at their personal situations and take it from there.

Post # 8
Member
912 posts
Busy bee

Yikes that is a lot of money…I would say anything over $50-75 per person is too much. 

Post # 9
Member
2953 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

LeeBee88: Can your mom pick up more of the cost or is she already contributing big bucks somewhere else?

Post # 10
Member
6573 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Nope nope nope nope, $200 is too much for each bridesmaid to contribute to a shower. Doesn’t anyone have a nice big living room that costs $0 instead?

Post # 11
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
LeeBee88:  It depends on factors such as family expectations, what people in your social circles do, etc. For me, that sounds quite reasonable; my daughter’s have been asked to contribute more than that. Obviously, to others, it could seem excessive.

Post # 12
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee

Yes. I don’t think bridal showers are supposed to be these big crazy events where you need to rent a ~venue and have a fancy meal. But that’s just me. 

Post # 13
Member
1947 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Wow…I don’t think my bridal shower or baby shower cost $200 TOTAL.  Heck, maybe not even $200 combined!  

I would say asking people to contribute that much PP to your shower is waaaay overboard, especially if they are footing the bill for other costs like dresses, shoes, hair and/or makeup, bachelorette party….

Post # 15
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Rocky Mountains-May 2017

View original reply
LeeBee88:  That seems a bit excessive. In my family we either meet up at a place for brunch or use someone’s house. Not even close to spending that much

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