Post # 1
I’m just curious what kind of involvement your FH has with the wedding? When I first started to plan all my friends told me they would argue with their husband during wedding planning because they would be hurt that the man didn’t care and they wanted them to have more involvement with the decisions. Well I pull my FH into the bigger things for input and he has a gripe about everything. The frustrating part is I will spend hours of work on something before showing him a few options and then he will pick it apart even if he says he likes something. It’s really starting to frustrate me because I know if I just let him decide these things…it wouldn’t get done. My FH is a SUPER laid back guy and doesn’t seem to bothered by much….so having him pick at everything right now is really starting to frustrate me. It seems like majority of the grooms are staying out of majority of the planning. Anyone out there’s H/FH actually wanted to get involved or had an opinion about everything?
Post # 3
mine got way more involved about a week ago, so three weeks before yey. If was all me before.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
Mine is super helpful. He handled the baker and DJ just about all on his own. He’ll give me an opinion on other things because he knows I need him to care. …So he makes one up. He was super opinionated regarding our centerpieces, which was helpful because I was lost! We’ve been good partners, but I hear that’s not always the case…
Post # 5
In the beginning I would ask my FH what he liked, etc. and all his ideas were lame. So I took over and just assigned him tasks. The only arguments we have had are over the house being cluttered with wedding stuff and feeling like we are hoarders. lol
His responsibilities have been/are:
1) Pick out his and groomsmen’s outfits. (which I ended up picking out the shirts anyway)
2) Pick his mother/son song.
3) Decide on and order the food
4) All things bar related including signature drinks
5) Arrange transportation.
All the other details, I have done and he is cool with it.
I learned a year ago when I started that it was better to assign him tasks and be done with it. Just be prepared to accept whatever he chooses on those tasks.
Post # 6
@AntsyA: my Fiance is super laid back too. He didn’t want a big wedding, he would have bee fine with just me and him. Other than opinions, I don’t ask him for much. I just asked him and his mom for addresses. Well they only gave me like 5. I already sent out the STD and some of his family didn’t get one.
I told him “oh well, the people I want will make it” (DW for everyone but us). If they end up showing up for the wedding they don’t get to eat since we won’t have enough room. I know that seems really b*tchy, but I have been asking for these for over 6 months!
If they don’t care if their family gets invited, I’m not stressing over it.
He helped pick out the venue, and he’s going to look at dresses with me (which I’m not thrilled about). We still can’t decide on a song. He says no to everything since he use to work at a lot of weddings.
He’s mostly helpful though!
Post # 7
Mine has been wonderfull, any ideas I have for DIY’s he helps make them work and helps with any planning help I need. He is right in there with me every step of the way. He helps big time with de-stressing me as well.
Post # 8
Ok….so here is what I’m hearing. Those of you who are getting help are loving it because it’s helping you destress. But for me I wish my super laid back fiance of 6 years was laid back when it comes to the wedding planning. He seems to disagree with everything. He is being super picky about EVERYTHING. Its really frustrating because I would love to be able to just tell him go plan everything but I know it won’t get done. I just want him to be my super laid back sweetie again. He doesn’t realize that everything he gripes about I’ve spent hours researching and coming here, asking feedback, etc. So its really frustrating to hear when you’ve put that much work in. Then if I tell him that he’ll say he’s sure he’ll be happy no matter what but then I have replaying in my head what he does/doesn’t like. I’m sure he’s giving me suggestions to be helpful but I’m not used to it from him.
Post # 9
@AntsyA: I know just how you feel!!! My Fiance is WAY TOO INVOLVED. The other night we had an hour long argument over which picture frames to choose for our table numbers. He thought my selection was too modern.
It is SO frustrating showing him options only for him to dislike all of them. I think he has no clue how much work goes into everything, before I show him the options. It has created a lot of arguments, and I have been calling him groomzilla.
Is your Fiance by chance over 30? I recently read an article about “older” grooms wanting much more involvement in wedding planning. Mine is 36, and you would think it’s all about him!
I’ve basically stopped asking him for his opinions, and because he’ll never take initiative on his own, I should be ok.
Post # 10
Who? lol Chile please that man has no interest in planning the weddin.g He just wants to know when and where to show up and that’s cool because I get to do what I want! *bbm dance* lol
Post # 11
@MrsTVLover: Oh my goodness. EXACTLY. Everything is an issue and the second I say ok you decide but just so you know I did hours of research to bring the few ideas I did bring to the table he’ll tell me that my original idea is fine….then why did you put me through this.
He is…..he’s 33 and I am 29. Wow maybe that is why but it is driving me crazy. I prepared myself for him to not want to be involved but I didn’t prepare myself for the overly involved groom, especially when it comes to normal day to day things he’s super laid back. Agh.
That’s what I’m about to start doing. I know he won’t do it on his own either. He hasn’t even finished handling the one thing I’ve asked him to do….make sure all the grooms get their measurements in.
Post # 12
Post # 13
I am convinced that guys in their 30s are much more involved. It’s like they’ve waited a long time to get married, and they want it to be perfect LOL
Post # 14
@MrsTVLover: You’re right….I didn’t even think of it that way. He’s pretty excited about everything…so maybe I just need to be grateful. I’m just stressed cause I have so much on my plate with work and wedding planning that I just wanted to make snap decisions and move on to the next …..but he isn’t making that easy.
Post # 15
Fiance has been AMAZING! We have done most of the printing of any paper items ourselves, and as he is a computer mastermind I just let him do most of those tasks (invitations, inserts, photo cards, table numbers, programs, etc). We collaborated on designs and then I let him go since he is much better at ironing out the details on projects like that. He is also making our photo booth, which is a huge undertaking. He has also been planning most of the honeymoon and I know he has a few surprises up his sleeve… For the most part I have been organizing most of the tasks and handing things off to him when I think he can do a better job or if I don’t have enough time. He has been my right hand and there is no way I would still be sane if it wasn’t for him!
Post # 16
I didn’t want any help because I’m sort of a control freak(something i found out during the planning process). So, I settled for him to help pay instead. LOL