(Closed) How much is your FH helping?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: How much is your finance helping with the wedding planing/executing?
    A lot! : (13 votes)
    24 %
    Somewhat! : (26 votes)
    47 %
    Not at all! : (16 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    5154 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    My husband did a great job helping out πŸ™‚ I think you should ask him to help you do something simple (work on favors with your mom? etc) with you. Tell him, in a NON attacking way, that’d you’d really like his help. I don’t think that his not helping out is a sign…maybe he doesn’t know what to help with or doesn’t want to step on your planning toes πŸ™‚

    good luck!

    Post # 4
    626 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Not as much as I wish he would. He has the purse strings so when he would say he didn’t think it was necessary to book this yet or figure out that yet I felt guilty. I havent been able to put any money into the wedding and neither have my parents and I feel exptremely guilty planning a wedding when I don’t have any control over the financials.

    I know I should get over it, he’ll be my husband in 19 days.. but its just a matter of pride. The brides family should be helping (or at least the bride somewhat) and yet I can’t…. which made me not want to plan as much.

    Post # 5
    39 posts
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Mine’s being a poo-head about it.  He’s not helping at all!!!  He’s very excited about our actual marriage, talking about our future and saying he can’t wait to be married to me.  But he is NOT excited about the wedding!!!!  He won’t even go to Bed Bath & Beyond to help me with the registry… whatever, he’ll have no right to complain about my choices!  I’ll just go with some girlfriends!

    I wouldn’t worry about it too much – guys just aren’t into the whole wedding thing, it doesn’t mean anything about your relationship or future marriage.  My Fiance is great with everything else.

    Your family however, THEY should be helping more!!

    Post # 6
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My husband barely helped. If i wanted him to help, I would have sent him a list and said, “do this”. I did that with liquor. With tuxes. That was about it. I did the registry online myself, sent him the link, he added stuff, etc. I think he was grateful, actually, haha. But he’s incredibly helpful in real life–I just think planning a wedding (aka big ole party) isn’t most dude’s cup of tea so they aren’t chompin’ at the bit to help out. Making things pretty and cute certainly isn’t something my SO is good at!!!!

    Post # 7
    2054 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    My fiance is very involved…we make every decision together even on decor!

    Post # 8
    841 posts
    Busy bee

    Ha! Too bad you didn’t have the option ‘he is doing all the planning, and all I have to do is show up and look pretty’!.  In all seriousness, my Fiance is really doing all the planning. With me living in Canada, it is just easier that way. Besides, I am waaaay too indecisive :s

    Post # 9
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    Mine likes to spout off ridiculous ideas to make me crazy, but he has flat out said “this is your day.  I don’t give a rip about colors, flowers, or clothes.  All I care about is friends, food, and alcohol.”  Guess what I’m putting him in charge of?  Food and alcohol.

    Post # 10
    252 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I do the research, show him the top 3 picks and then get his input. So far so good because everything he’s chosen was the same one I chose (and I didn’t even tell him!!). He hates the planning part, all the research and what not. But this way he feels somewhat involved. Also, he does help out with the DIY stuff. I just have to show him how and he’s on it. πŸ™‚

    Post # 11
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    He doesn’t really care about details, but I did ask him to take care of certain things like booking our hotel room and working with his parents to coordinate the rehearsal dinner.  If I didn’t ask him to do certain things, I doubt he’d ask if I needed help though.  Sigh, boys.

    Post # 12
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    My Fiance has probably done about 35-40% of our planning/executing. πŸ™‚ He’s wonderful!

    Post # 13
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    FH has prob done less then 5%. I am happy that now when i ask if he likes something i actully get a yes or no! we are making progress!

    Post # 14
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    He barely helps, but I don’t mind.  I can have things my way without having to “discuss.” 

    I feel like most men JUST DON’T CARE about flowers and invitations etc. etc. etc… and that’s ok.  I’m not going to force him to pretend to care.  The day is about us, but I fully realize most of these details are to please me and the other lady guests who notice them πŸ™‚

    I don’t think it’s any reflection of what kind of partner he is.  If I were planning other frou-frou parties in the future I wouldn’t expect him to care about those either.  But he’s very involved in other things we do so it evens out.

    Post # 15
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    FH has done all the leg work for our caterer, DJ and says he’ll do the favors.

    The food’s pretty important to him, and he’s paying for most of it.

    The DJ’s a friend of his.

    The favors were his idea and looked to be a total PITA, so I told him if he wanted them he could do them.

    I would imagine if I asked for help on any one of the 54,232 crafting projects on my to do list he would begrudgingly help.

    Post # 16
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    He left wedding planning to me and I left honeymoon planning to him!

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