Post # 1
Ok, just curious. Would you decide someone was not marriage material if he or she made below a certain amount of income? Barring, of course, extenuating circumstances, such as chronic illness that prevented the person from fully participating in the workplace.
If so, what is the point where you would start to question whether marriage was feasible? I would like people to be honest, so let’s not jump down anyone’s throat even if we think she is setting the bar awfully high.
Post # 2
Ideally, I’d like them to make equal or more than me. But as I’m a teacher, that’s pretty much everyone 🙂
but in actuality, as long as they are working, I’m good
being HAPPY at their job is much more important to me than how much they make.
Post # 3
I think it is largely going to depend on region — $50,000 in the south is a good salary; in NYC not so much….
Post # 4
I agree with PP about being happy. Income does not matter so long as he is fulfilled with his occupation. That is something I cannot provide for him regardless of our relationship. Money, I can make on my own. I can’t and shouldn’t be the only thing in his life that makes him happy.
Also, hating your job is something that is tough to not bring home.
Post # 5
I make my own income, so I wouldn’t expect to live on solely his salary. I would want him to have a solid, steady job. When we met, I thought we made about the same amount, but it turns out he makes a significant percent more than me right now.
Post # 6
- Wedding: A restaurant on the beach
I’m hopefully going to be a physician so he will probably never make more than me. Ideally he would have the potential of making 100K. We live in the DC area, living is expensive.
Post # 7
What she makes really doesn’t matter to me. I’m a 22yr old guy and make about 70k+15% bonus in big4 accounting. I’ll be making 6 figures by 25. Down the line if I decided to get married, the money she makes wouldn’t be important at all.
I work hellish hours and love what I do. My spouse would have to thoroughly enjoy cooking as much as I do, and could have a nice dinner ready M-F when I get home from work that we can enjoy together.
On week-ends chef HardcoreNapkin takes over 😎
Post # 8
My BF is currently earning way less than me, but devotes 90% of his income to our household expense. He is a FT student and often feels ashamed that I sustain the household. But I broke it down to percentages (%) and he realized that he does spend about 90% of his income to our shared household bills. I may pay more $$, but he is not lacking in fullfilling his responsibilities.
This is more my line: I would NOT date anyone who is not willing to be a partner. I would not date anyone who is not working towards a goal. I would not waste my time with anyone who uses their disability as a crutch–who is not inspired to become bigger than their diseases. I can’t. Why? Because I will not be able to give them full respect and, in sum, will not love them.
Post # 9
I say at least $20k, meaning minimum wage full-time (where we live). Except for illness, disability, job loss, a rough patch, etc. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t work full time. I’m always busy and wouldn’t want our work schedules to be too disproportional, as that could result in feeling neglected. I would feel guilty for working all the time if he wasn’t. Also (barring aforementioned circumstances of course) I wouldn’t want the responsibility of supporting both of us. I don’t even make enough for both of us.
Post # 10
When DH proposed he wasn’t working, the semester was just about to start.
Post # 11
for me, financial responsibility matters most, for example not spending money they don’t have….going around charging whatever they want and not able to pay the charge card every month. Been there done that with a previous relationship. He would be the “big man” at the bar buying rounds of drinks for everyone but couldn’t pay his bills.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t want to be with someone who is unmotivated or lazy and refuses to better themselves, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to a dollar amount cutoff.
As long as we can support ourselves and live relatively comfortably on our combined income and DH is being a contributing member of society and enjoys his job, then I’m happy. We’ve been feast and famine together and I can’t say that that has changed my opinion of him at all or my happiness with our relationship.
Post # 13
I don’t think there’s a concrete number (for one thing, it’s gonna vary like crazy from place to place). Between the two of us, we need to make enough money to support a mutually agreed upon lifestyle. My Fiance and I both grew up poor (his situation was much, much worst than mine), so it was important to both of us that we be able to be financially comfortable before we get married. That, said, “comfortable” is a pretty low bar for people who were at times unable to access heat and running water. My starting salary is about 18,000 a year and he just got a pay bump to 40K. That is more than enough for both of us.
I also wouldn’t marry someone who didn’t work full time (even if they didn’t need to), nor would I marry someone who wanted me not to work (even if I didn’t need to). That is, of course, assuming both of us are healthy and able bodied. What’s important to me is work ethic.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
Wow…I’m sorry but this just seems sooooo MATERIALISTIC!
I don’t think any amount of money would make me vote on “marriage material” as it is the person and who they are that matters the most NOT the amount of money they make. I vote “Other” – as in zero.
It’s the amount they make that is what you would want to “live comfortably”. Yes, Ideally I would love for them to have a job. Yes, we could live more comfortably with higher incomes.
What if say they did make $100k a year and right after marriage they get hurt and never able to work again…would you throw them to a curb so you can find someone else that makes $100k a year? This whole question I find obsurd, materialistic and money grubbing.
Sorry, I’m 47 and I can tell you money does not buy happiness or a good marriage!
Post # 15
TBH enough to participate in the lifestyle I want which is to live comfortably and not worry about where the next meal is coming from or about having a roof over my head, and enjoy life; the occasional fancy meal, drink good wine, be able to afford pets, support charities, study, indulge in hobbies and travel. I love the life I built and wanted a partner who has the same values as me and can enjoy the same style of life I worked really hard to achieve. It’s not about the $$, it’s about how they manage money and having a vision for a fulfilling life rather than drifting.