(Closed) How much notice for asking groomsmen? / Laid-back groom + worried bride…

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am pretty laid back myself, but this is cutting it close.  I think he needs to ask them now.

Post # 4
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d be worried too.  Good luck… 🙁

Post # 5
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh my God, are we marrying the same man? Because my fiance is doing the SAME THING!  And it is driving me crazy!!!  

We’re each having 3 people stand up for us.  I asked my bridesmaids over a year ago.  He finally got around to asking his brother a few months back when we were visiting, he asked his friend in town after some prompting by me.  But his out-of-town friend.. nothing. Our wedding is in less than two months!! 

I finally sat him down and told him, “Listen, you HAVE to ask him.  Like, right now.  I know your friend would be sad and you would be really disappointed if he couldn’t make it because of something else he had scheduled.  It’s rude to expect that he will be able to drop everything to be in your wedding last minute.”  And then I handed him his phone.  

So maybe it was a bit pushy, but my GOD he was being ridiculous.  

Post # 6
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh, wow. That is cutting it a bit close. I would definitely sit down and talk with him, because they should be going to pick out tuxes soon since your wedding is in July.

Post # 7
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yikes. How are they going to get suits/tuxes w no notice? That is not enough time.

Post # 8
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you need to give him a deadline…like..this week! 

Post # 9
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

This sounds familiar- I found out two weeks ago that Fiance hadn’t talked to one of the groomsmen or the usher. Argh!!

Since my wedding’s almost the same date as yours, I concur that yes, this is cutting it WAY too close. Do these friends even know when the wedding is? Fiance needs to call them THIS weekend.

Fiance is correct that they can get their tuxes in two weeks, but do they have that extra $100 saved up for a tux? Have they received an invite- were they even planning on being at the wedding?

Use the script FluffyFTW gave you, and you have every right to be PUSHY. And I think you might need to prepare yourself for an uneven wedding party, just in case one of the guys can’t make it.

It makes me feel a little better that I’m not the only one whose Fiance did this. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My fiance found out that he was to be his brother’s best man the week before the wedding.  It was maybe a month before that he told him he was in the wedding.  Their first wedding (long story) he found out the night before that he was the best man.  Luckily he had packed a suit, as they were in CHINA!

Guys are different.  I was more peeved than him ’cause I had to sit alone with my soon to be SIL’s friends.

Post # 11
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We have a year and a half engagement, and my Fiance as already asked his groomsmen so they have plenty of time to save and make plans. I would be going nuts if he had waited that long. I feel if I was in your shoes, I would sit him down and give him the phone to call. That, or do it myself. Seriously. They’re your friends too. They need to know ASAP so they have time to get a tux.

Post # 12
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow…I would be having a panic attack if I were in your shoes. How are these guys going to have time to get fitted for tuxes? I don’t know which tux company you are using, but the one I’m using (fairly popular) says 3 months notice. Tell your Fiance he HAS TO call up the guys and ask them TODAY.

Post # 13
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Gah. I had to cajole, and then beg, and then threaten. ONE freaking attendant we’re each having, and my bff has known from the get-go, and Fiance just wasn’t getting around to it. He said he couldn’t figure out how to ask. The friend he wanted to ask was already doing everything for us a best man could do (he and his wife are maybe the nicest people in the world and are knocking themselves out to help us). It was getting awkward, though, with the best man thing unsettled. 

I finally gave Fiance a deadline and told him if he hadn’t asked by that deadline, I was sending the friend the prettiest pink flowers I could find with a super-sappy note asking him to “share in the joy of my special day.” Signed, my Fiance.

Fiance didn’t believe I’d really do it, until I made him watch me log on to FTD.com and start choosing between gerbera daisies and long stemmed roses. He texted the friend right then and there. Done!

Post # 14
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My husband asked one of his Groomsmen the week of (someone backed out for personal reasons, and he wanted even sides). Worked out just fine! Most guys (in my experience) are more laid back about this stuff & are just thrilled with the prospect of getting to chill & drink with the groomsmen for a weekend.

Post # 15
Member
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

It sounds like he needs a deadline. He will probably even agree to one.  But then make him stick to it!

Post # 16
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We only just got engaged and we have got 8 months to go and I’m already freaking out about this haha. If FH still hasn’t asked his guys by that stage I will be asking them for him. That is cutting it very fine!!!

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