(Closed) how much of a surprise should there be for the proposal or the ring?

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

Propose now.  A pretty sapphire placeholder ring would be nice. She gets to the engagement now and the opportunity to select her e-ring as a couple. Don’t put it off. Do it.

Post # 3
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m for #2, but I would hold off on getting her input until much closer to the proposal date. I would not ask for input before the holidays! 

Post # 4
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

We kind of had number 3 ….

He proposed with an inexpensive second hand ring which he chose on his own. Second hard partly due to budget I think as we are comfortable but don’t make a fortune   (it was a surprise on my bday…. although I had a bit of a suspicion/guess).

I was happy with what he chose, wasn’t really a style I would have chosen but it was special anyway.  I never said anything about the style preference But he said he wanted to make sure i had something really special for my “forever ring”. I wasn’t actively looking for one, but when shopping for wedding rings we saw something that we both loved and we bought that together. I wear the original on my right hand as it has sentimental value. 

One thing I would say is that if you’re do choose on your own and you are happy for her to choose a second ring/change it for something else, make it clear so she doesn’t feel bad for hurting your feelings, as it’s something that many bees worry about if the ring isn’t quite what they imagined. 

Post # 6
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

adastra :  In that case, I would do #3, but be open to her making changes to the ring if she wishes. 

Post # 8
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee

Propose with an inexpensive placeholder ring, then select or design the ring together.  Perhaps the placeholder could be something like a simple plain band so she could use it as a wedding band eventually.  

This way she gets a surprise and you don’t risk picking a ring she dislikes or doesn’t love.

Post # 10
Member
5565 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If you want the proposal to be a surprise but she wants input on the ring I think it’s lovely when people propose with a dummy ring and then you go and pick the ring together the next day. I also had a friend who proposed with just a diamond and then his new fiancée picked the setting, I thought that was a really good idea.

Post # 11
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I was totally surprised. Our timeline was anytime in 2016 he proposed July 2016 and we got married September of 2017 and now we are expecting our bundle of joy in March of 2019

Post # 12
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I chose my ring but was completely surprised with the proposal. It was perfect for us because I am super particular about my ring, since it is something I will wear every single day. But he wanted to surprise me. So we got the best of both. 

Post # 13
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

 

adastra :  My boyfriend let me pick out my ring and now i’m waiting for the proposal. Yeah waiting sucks but I would much rather wait for the right ring than be disappointed and have to go through the awkwardness of telling him I didnt like what he chose! Best of luck to you xoxo

Post # 15
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I think options 2 and 4 sound best.

The topic ‘how much of a surprise should there be for the proposal or the ring?’ is closed to new replies.

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