(Closed) how much of a surprise should there be for the proposal or the ring?

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

adastra :  Since she really likes surprises it sounds like she’d probably be happy no matter what ring you got her! If you’re looking for a little more of an idea of what she wants without ruining the surprise maybe ask her to create a Pinterest board with ring ideas and then leave it at that and dimly discuss much else with her. That way you can make sure what you’re thinking lines up with her idea of a ring! 

Post # 17
Member
12222 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

adastra :  I would not buy  a nonreturnable moissanite unless you know without a doubt she is open to it. Being open to a sapphire center stone doesn’t necessarily mean she’d like them as side stones. Not everyone would choose the look of the darker side stones.

Personally, I’d do a fully exchangeable #3 in a very simple solitaire in her preferred metal with the understanding she can pick another setting if she prefers. But I’d rather put my money toward the center stone. 

Post # 18
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My fiancé did option 2 for me 🙂 I more or less chose my own ring (we were looking together and then when I saw the one I wanted I KNEW and was like “omg this is it” haha

But the timing and manner of the proposal was a total surprise. And I loved that because he really surprised me and did it in the sweetest way, and I got my perfect dream ring 🙂 Best of both worlds, to me!

Post # 19
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

Could you get help from her best friend or sister to choose the ring? I think surprises are amazing!

Post # 20
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I had option number 2 and I wouldn’t change it, I got the perfect ring and an amazing surprise proposal and was super happy with how everything turned out

Post # 21
Member
323 posts
Helper bee

#4! My proposal was a surprise and we had a ring custom made later. Best of both worlds, in my mind. That said, if he’d chosen the ring himself I would have been happy too. He has great taste and knows me well!

Post # 22
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

#2 without a question! Being a part of the ring selection process together can be really special and she’ll get the ring of her dreams. There is no reason for her to know the how and when of the proposal though and keeping this a surprise will keep the actual proposal special for her! 

Post # 23
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

I can’t imagine not being involved in choosing a ring I would wear forever.

I think surprises are vastly over-rated and often go very wrong.

Post # 24
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Another option is that you go ring shopping together and you get her to narrow it down to three options she likes.  Then you can make the final choice without her knowing, and the proposal can then be a surprise too.

My husband knew I wanted to pick my own ring so he proposed with a placeholder (borrowed from his mother!) and we went and chose my ring the next day.

Post # 25
Member
459 posts
Helper bee

Why don’t you just ask her if she wants input on the ring, or if she wants to leave it up to you? Personally, I would choose option 2 (let her choose the ring and have the proposal be a surprise). That’s what my SO did and it was perfect for me because I was very particular about the kind of ring I wanted.

Post # 28
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I went with option 2. I showed my then-boyfriend pictures of some rings and he gave his opinion on them. I got his ring size and he got mine, too. I ordered the ring and surprised him with the proposal. He’d forgotten about me showing him a pic of the ring but he loved it and it fit perfectly.

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