(Closed) how much of a surprise should there be for the proposal or the ring?

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 31
1259 posts
Bumble bee

My fiancé and I looked at rings together and I picked out the ring I wanted, without knowledge of whether and when he bought it, and also no idea when he was going to propose as a result. If you phrase it in a way that is just you two looking at the style of rings she like, without committing to buying or proposing yet, that might take away the waiting anxiety you are worried about.

Post # 32
2413 posts
Buzzing bee

What shape stone does she want?  I think I’ve seen lan created diamonds in every shape before.

Post # 34
9173 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i gave input on my ring.  i knew the date of my proposal, but the execution was a huge surprise.


Post # 36
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

With your updates, I would say go for option 3. It sounds like she would appreciate the effort you would make to pick out the ring completely yourself. I’d just make sure you are open to her wanting to switch some things out to fit her own preferences.

My SO is proposing with a stand in ring, and then we’ll design the ring together afterwards. I actually plan to use the stand in ring for when we’re traveling and I don’t want to wear my expensive engagement ring, so I’ll still use it as an engagement ring at times and it will still be special. That is something you can consider if you do decide to go with option 4.

But based on her being adament about you surprising her and her expressing pleasure at you being able to make large decisions yourself, I would tend to lean towards option 3 and just completely surprising her.

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