(Closed) How much of an influence was your family on your wedding

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: Who spoke out the most to try and change things?
    Bride's Mom : (10 votes)
    53 %
    Grooms' Mom : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Bride's Dad : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Groom's Dad : (0 votes)
    Bride's Siblings : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Groom's Siblings : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Bride's Grandparents : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Groom's Grandparents : (0 votes)
    Bride's Friends : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1827 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i hate that. “do what you want, it’s your wedding” in one breath, but “oh no, no one will like that” in the next.

    my mom has been very opinionated about food. we’ve actually fought over it. sigh.

    Post # 4
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2007

    My mom lived in Asia so my Mother-In-Law was the one who spoke out the most in regards to the wedding

    Post # 5
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Ummm…. we made it clear that everyone was to keep their mouths shut unless we specifically asked for their opinion. I had groomed my parents for a decade by telling them that if I ever got married, it would be a courthouse shindig and I’d tell them about it after it was done. That sufficiently lowered their expectations to 0, and they were just happy I was having a wedding at all. And since Mr. LK and I were footing the bill for everything we gave a hoot about, no one really had the right to voice their opinion anyway. I really think it’s all about how independent you are before and during the planning. If you’ve already fully flown the nest, established your own life independent from your family, and pay your own way, people tend to leave you the eff alone. And that was exactly what we wanted. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I have had the most conflict with my mom and dad who have been very opinionated about some things.  I am lucky that overall they defer to my taste on decor and things like that, but they have very specific opinions about food, drinks, etc.  It used to really bother me, but honestly, as an older bride (29) I have come to believe that it’s a misconception your wedding day is all about you.  I know some will disagree, but once I changed my frame of reference, I actually started to really enjoy that my parents cared so much and I really started to want to incorporate their ideas.  I would have died if you would have told me a few years ago that my wedding would be family style instead of plated…but you know what?  Now I throw my hands in the air and think about how much fun that will be and how it will set a relaxed tone for all our guests to kick back and enjoy!  And, for a lot of the issues over which we disagreed I found that checking my attitude and talking to them calmly has helped us to reach compromise and come up with even better ideas than either of us originally had. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2808 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I have had to stand my ground pretty hard to keep my Mom from completely steamrollering me. She’s won a few, but we end up fighting a lot because she is so controlling.

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