(Closed) How much of your past (photos with exes, etc do you keep)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have a lot of photos, but that’s pretty much it. I keep them all in a box and pretty much never look at them.

Post # 33
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

This is a great question!  And there are lots of interesting answers.

For me personally I have only got one ex, we were together 12 years.  I therefore have a lot of stuff still in my house that was either bought with or by him.  In terms of photos / obviously ex related momentos – I deleted all photos/posts relating to him off FB, I have a folder on my external hard drive with pix of him, and I have a box of everything else in my airing cupboard

Post # 34
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

I’m going to be contraversial and say that I have three boxes for the three significant exes in my life, one was my ex husband and the father of my son.  However they are not kept in a prominant position but are stashed away in a cupboard, out of sight.  The contain photos, letters and pics etc and I don’t really ever look at them but they have accompanied me on at least four house moves.

I see them as just part of my history and past, I’m not sure if my SO even knows they exist to be honest but I don’t think he would be bothered if he did.  Just last week he was going through an old box of his and showed me pictures of his ex wife.

It may be that we are older (over 40) and realise that we both have pasts and that exactly what they are and they made us who we are today

Post # 35
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

All of it, packed away together (little stuff…photos and letters…it takes up less than a briefcase all together) and honestly I never look at them, but I don’t want to throw out any of it. I’ve always been highly sentimental and it is my own past.

Fiance just found a photo album with two of his exes heavily featured in it the other day. He asked me if I want him to throw them out…. and well, no I don’t. They were interesting to look through. I do think the ones of them kissing, the girl sitting on his lap, etc. can be stored seperately from some of the other photos of the album, as there are some photos from it I wouldn’t mind flipping through every so often 🙂

Post # 36
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Any lovey dovey pictures could stand to be tossed but I don’t see the need to throw everything and pretend that chapter of your life didn’t exist. I actually found it interesting to see what my dad’s girlfriend from 40 years ago looked like when looking through some old pics

Post # 37
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I keep nothing. Fiance keeps only one picture of an ex from 10 years ago who died. 

Post # 38
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have a shoebox of old photos, letters and small gifts. I don’t think Fiance has anything like that, but it wouldn’t bother me if he did.

I am also a serial-dater though. If I tossed every photo with an ex in it I wouldn’t have any pictures from my teen years lol.

Post # 39
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

None. I had one LT relationship prior to DH and I couldn’t stand him. It was a terrible breakup and I literally threw everything – from photos to jewelry to clothes – away. I’m pretty sure DH hasn’t kept anything and if he did, it would be in boxes at his parents’ house and it hasn’t been unearthed in almost a decade.

Post # 40
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t have any. I make a point of throwing everything away after a breakup that reminds me of that person.

Post # 41
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I have a few photos, but that’s it.

ETA: These photos are on my family’s computer, and not actual printed photos.

Post # 42
Member
1511 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
@pinkshoes:  It’s my life too, just cause he’s in a picture doesnt mean I have to forget that moment ever existed.

 

This is exactly how I feel.

 

View original reply
@paulabrochu:  All of the things I still have are at my mom’s house (which is over 1000 miles away from where I live now), with the exception of any digital photos.  I don’t look through the old pictures often or anything, but if I’m feeling nostalgic I also don’t want to lose out on specific memories just because one of my ex-boyfriends happened to be in the picture.

 

For what it’s worth, I was with one ex-boyfriend off and on for over 2 years and another ex-boyfriend for a little over 4 years … So I’d be erasing a huge chunk of my life experiences from my teens and early 20s if I got rid of all of the pictures they were in.

 

Post # 43
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

I have a box from my high school sweetheart who I dated for two years. I started collecting the stuff while we were dating. After we broke up I was too emotionally disturbed to go through it.

Now I am over the relationship and could deal with it but I just haven’t bothered. It’s a small decorative hatbox and it has a bunch of cards and tiny gifts and things.

I would definitely toss it if my boyfriend made a fuss. I haven’t looked through the items since we dated (5 years ago).

My other ex made me a scrapbook of pictures of himself and since we parted on such good terms and I do love him as a friend I have held onto it.

Post # 44
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@paulabrochu:  I don’t think it’s appropriate when you are living together or married. My Fiance and I have gotten rid of everything, and I would never be okay with him keeping a special box for any of those things.

I also think that keeping pictures on Facebook is very disrespectful to your current partner, and sends out the wrong message (e.g. this ex in the picture is as important to me as my current partner).

The way I see it; it’s okay to have a past, but the past does not need to have a present.

Post # 45
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@ashleycan86:  I don’t have any. I make a point of throwing everything away after a breakup that reminds me of that person.

The same goes for me. I always found that it really helps the healing process.

Post # 46
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@paulabrochu:  I don’t really have any photos of my ex’s anymore.  A few that are in albums, but nothing substantial. I still have a pair of pj shorts my one ex gave me, and my Fiance loves them, but I really don’t ever think of them as relating to my ex. My last ex before my Fiance, I basically got rid of everything that I still had, and dumped the box of crap that he returned to me after we broke up like photos of us, or notes that I wrote to him. He returned them to try to make me feel bad (but he didn’t return any of my underwear / lingerie that I had left at his house – what a creep!)

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