(Closed) How much of your past (photos with exes, etc do you keep)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I kept absolutely nothing, because I didn’t have any photos etc with one ex, and my relationship with my first boyfriend was an abusive one so I got rid of everything for my own mental health. I’m sure photos of us together do exist, but I don’t keep them.

As for my FI- I don’t think he does. I’ve certainly never seen any.

Post # 48
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m trying to think of a single thing I have from an ex and I can’t think of one except a couple childhood pics of my high school sweetheart I ended up with . They are at my dad’s house. Every once in a while I come across them and can’t decide what to do with them since throwing them out seems sad (since they are from the age before digital photos), but I’m not in contact with him. I think if my SO had group pictures that included an ex, I’d be ok with that… or if he was married before and had kids with her obviously family photos in an album we don’t keep out would be fine. Otherwise, I think anything else would annoy me.

Post # 49
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have a few photos of some ex’s, and a necklace from one. 

The necklace I got when I was 13, and it is a locket and it is my first locket (I adore locket necklaces) so I am keeping that not because it reminds me of that old boyfriend but because I seriously love the necklace itself! 

Other then that no I have no notes, clothes, or anything else really except for two photos. Everything else I gave to Good Will, threw away or gave back. 

My Fiance when we first started dating had a huge box of his ex girlfriend’s things. He never opened it, and one day I got really curious and asked him if we could go through the box together. I ended up taking a sweatshirt, and a pink bracelet. LOL! She had some nice things in there. Everything else we gave to family members, or Good Willed. I look back on that day with fondness just because his break up with her was so terrible and when she gave him that box full of stuff he could never bring himself to open it because it was too painful, but I think the day we did open it, had some laughs, had me try somethings on, popped open some bubbly, and that day I think it helped him close that chapter in his life, and begin a new with me. We’ve talked about me having a few of her items, and it has never bothered him…When he sees me with that bracelet or sweatshirt he says he knows that those things were meant for me he just didn’t know it yet! 

He did have some sexy pictures of her on his old phone when we began dating, along with her phone number, and that pissed me off a huge deal. (This was before we opened the box) but he deleted those, and we moved on quickly after that. 

Oh we also burned pictures of his ex girlfriend, not out of malace or anything, but to help him move on. So he doesn’t have anything from his last ex-girlfriend, if he has things from other girls it would be so old they’re just memories now. *shrugs* So it wouldn’t bother me if I saw anything else especially since we’re getting married! As for his feelings on my necklace, and two pictures he says he couldn’t give two hamster loves less. He really likes the necklace, and those two photos are in my “childhood album” buried in a box somewhere in my bedroom. 

 

Post # 50
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My ex kept asking for the pictures we took when we went a way for a long weekend. He made the mistake of coming up with this lame excuse saying that he didnt want any man I was potentially dating to see his picture.

Well that pissed me off because I thought it was childish so I told him that I would take care of that. I went to the backyard with a dutch pot and put all his pictures and negatives in it and burned every last one of them.

I told him now you dont have to worry about anyone seeing your pictures. He said I didnt think you would ever do what you did? WHATEVER YOU ARE HISTORY!!!

Post # 51
Member
2334 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Nada.  They were losers (that’s why we broke up), so why would I keep photos of them around?

Post # 52
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I a the kind of person where when it’s over I don’t want to have any reminders around. Pictures, jewelry, notes, mix cds (ha), clothes, and whatever else were all thrown away when the relationship ended.

Post # 53
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@paulabrochu:  I’ve been wondering about this myself.  The ex that I was with the longest, about 5 years, I still have plenty of photos of us together on the hard drive of my computer, but they aren’t out on display in our apartment or anything.  He and I are still good friends, and there’s no reason to delete everything and pretend he never existed.  Another ex, we had a terribly rocky relationship and I’ve even deleted most of my music that reminds me of him.

And then there was another guy I dated for like 2 or 3 months, we were never that close, and our relationship, so to speak, had a very awkward end… but shortly before that, he gave me these two adorable shot glasses.  They are still in our kitchen and Fiance uses them pretty frequently.  They are too cute to get rid of, but they do remind me of this weird, awkward relationship.  What to do?  LOL.

Post # 54
Member
3419 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I am a fan of Shred the Ex. I burned all my stuff (like set it on FIRE!)

There is one locket I kept because he was my first boyfriend and childhood best friend. I don’t wear it. It is just in the box I keep all the jewlery I don’t wear. It is real gold and is engraved. I am not tossing that stuff…

Oh and there is a sapphire necklace and earing combo from another ex…but that ended a great terms, he told me I could keep it and it is 100% real…I am not getting rid of that. Oh I do have his love notes…but only because it was pasted into the journal I had when I was that age, I can’t bare to burn those memories…I was just a teenager then…

Post # 55
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yeah that’s a bit much.  The video tape thing is creepy, and keeping everything from past relationships kind of sounds like a teenage girl kind of thing … I’m sure I’ve offended someone.  It just seems weird to have a box dedicated to each past relationship. 

 DH was married before and we have one chrystal wine glass, brandy glass and low ball glass leftover from his first marriage. LOL it cracks me up that’s what he walked away with.  They sit on top of our kitchen cabinets. I think I have a few pictures, which I’ve kept of me with the ex, cause i look GOOD. 

Post # 56
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If the man the OP mentioned had kids with an ex, I could MAYBE understand keeping the wedding album.  That’s a part of their history, and IMO the kids have a right to see it.  But it should go into storage.

As for me, one or two things may have slipped past my purging of the exes, but if it did, it wasn’t on purpose.  There may be a couple of pictures from that time on Facebook (I honestly don’t know) but I haven’t looked at any pictures of exes since I threw everything of theirs away years ago (before I even met FI).  And I’m fairly certain that Fiance doesn’t have anything from his exes, either.  If he does, it’s well-hidden or he hasn’t told me where it came from.  I understand keeping a little bit from that time of your life, though.  They ARE a part of your past.

Post # 57
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t have anything of my ex boyfriends. Maybe some jewelry that one of them gave me for my 16th birthday that I don’t wear and am too lazy to sell (it was sort of expensive so I don’t just want to throw it away). I don’t care to hold on to the past.

Post # 58
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I tossed and trashed everything except for one thing… the last gift he got me for my birthday was a set of the most unbelievably amazing JA Henkel knives…

Those things slice through pineapples like it’s butter. I’m like Fruit Ninja and I’ll be damned if I’m just sending those to Goodwill.

Post # 59
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
@BooRadley:  Hahahaha!! Exactly. Why would I want to look at his stupid face anymore?!

Post # 60
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it’s appropriate.  Maybe wedding stuff if the couple had kids.  But as for me, if I looked good in the picture, I cut myself out and trash the rest 🙂  I don’t keep anything from an ex.

Post # 61
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sure there are still photos of me and exes as well as a few items that tie back to previous relationships – if I really thought it.  But I used to have a box full of notes from high school and all the love letters from my high school sweetheart as well as a multi-photo frame filled with pictures of us……that I kept for sentimental value.  But after I got engaged, when I was going through all of my belongings in my parents’ basement, I realized that I don’t need those things anymore and I threw all the love notes away and disassembled the frame. 

My personal opinion is that I will keep the memories, but I am comitting my life to my fiancee and I don’t need to hold on to physical reminders of any other romantic relationships. 

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