(Closed) How much say does the bride have in her bachelorette party??

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Umm…you can certainly push back on this one. Vegas is a huge trip, and if you don’t want to do that before your wedding, you shouldn’t be forced to. If you’d rather have everyone attend and have it be in NYC, you have every right to make sure that happens.

Post # 4
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I pushed back HARD.  My Maid/Matron of Honor wanted to go all out with the typical bachelorette party things and I had NO intention of doing that.  It’s just not who I am and I knew I wouldn’t be comfortable.  Unfortunately, I think that was the starting point for the drama we’re having now.  She doesn’t understand that I’m not the crazy, party girl I was in college.

Post # 5
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well considering you ARE the bachelorette I’d think you really should have a good deal of say.  I’d keep pushing till you get something more your taste, it’s supposed to be about you, tell your Maid/Matron of Honor you will go to vegas for hers =)

Post # 6
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Is she paying for it without the help of the other BM? Honestly, yes you can say something about this. If they are paying and can’t attend and it will only be you and your Maid/Matron of Honor then that is not fair. You want people to be able to come and if I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man and paying for you and the Maid/Matron of Honor to go I would be annoyed with  the Maid/Matron of Honor. Find out what the other girls think/are doing.

Post # 7
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I personally think that the bachelorette party is one of those things that the bride should have a say in. My Maid/Matron of Honor asked me what I wanted to do since she knows I’m not really into the typical bar scene.

If you don’t want to go to Vegas then you don’t have to go to Vegas. This is your party and frankly, you’re the only one who has to be happy. A cross country trip to Vegas is a lot to ask of your bridesmaids. Some may feel obligated to go and will oblige just to make you happy even if they simply can’t afford it.

I think you have every right to push back on this. You can have a killer bachelorette party in NYC. If your Maid/Matron of Honor still refuses you can always suggest coming up to Albany. I bet she’d jump at the chance for an NYC bachelorette party after that suggestion, lol. 

Post # 9
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have to be the person to do the primary part of the planning, talk to your BMs (and maybe let your Maid/Matron of Honor know) that you’ve left this duty up to them.  You might want to plan a quick meeting with all of them to let them know the style of party you want.


I was my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor, but one of her BMs did most of the planning.  I supported her, paid for some things booked some things and did some of the shopping, but she did most of it.  My sister is younger and wilder than I am, and her Bridesmaid or Best Man knew where to go.  For my stagette, my sister (the MOH) will plan it, because I trust her to go with what I will like.  Some of my BMs have had odd ideas and my sister has done a good job of reigning them in (and complaining about a few of their wacky ideas to me).

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