Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor wants us all to go to Vegas for a long weekend, I really don’t want to. I tried to explain that I wanted all of my bridesmaids to be able to come to my bachelorette party and didn’t think that would happen if we go to Vegas. I suggested we stay in NYC that way everyone will be able to afford to attend. Her response was a very stern, “We are going to Vegas. The other girls can come if they want to, if not we go without them.”
I dropped the issue for the time being, but I’m wondering how much I can push back? I personally love Vegas and it’s nothing against going there, but I’d rather have a party in NYC where everyone can attend.
Post # 3
Umm…you can certainly push back on this one. Vegas is a huge trip, and if you don’t want to do that before your wedding, you shouldn’t be forced to. If you’d rather have everyone attend and have it be in NYC, you have every right to make sure that happens.
Post # 4
I pushed back HARD. My Maid/Matron of Honor wanted to go all out with the typical bachelorette party things and I had NO intention of doing that. It’s just not who I am and I knew I wouldn’t be comfortable. Unfortunately, I think that was the starting point for the drama we’re having now. She doesn’t understand that I’m not the crazy, party girl I was in college.
Post # 5
Well considering you ARE the bachelorette I’d think you really should have a good deal of say. I’d keep pushing till you get something more your taste, it’s supposed to be about you, tell your Maid/Matron of Honor you will go to vegas for hers =)
Post # 6
Is she paying for it without the help of the other BM? Honestly, yes you can say something about this. If they are paying and can’t attend and it will only be you and your Maid/Matron of Honor then that is not fair. You want people to be able to come and if I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man and paying for you and the Maid/Matron of Honor to go I would be annoyed with the Maid/Matron of Honor. Find out what the other girls think/are doing.
Post # 7
I personally think that the bachelorette party is one of those things that the bride should have a say in. My Maid/Matron of Honor asked me what I wanted to do since she knows I’m not really into the typical bar scene.
If you don’t want to go to Vegas then you don’t have to go to Vegas. This is your party and frankly, you’re the only one who has to be happy. A cross country trip to Vegas is a lot to ask of your bridesmaids. Some may feel obligated to go and will oblige just to make you happy even if they simply can’t afford it.
I think you have every right to push back on this. You can have a killer bachelorette party in NYC. If your Maid/Matron of Honor still refuses you can always suggest coming up to Albany. I bet she’d jump at the chance for an NYC bachelorette party after that suggestion, lol.
Post # 8
@2PeasinaPod: Thanks… I wasn’t sure since the maid of honor usually plans the bachelorette party.
@Miss Smashville: OMG, my Maid/Matron of Honor is the same way. She loves to party and yea, 5 years ago I did too, but I just can’t keep up with her sometimes… and I know my other BMs probably won’t either.
@murmur: Hehe I did tell her we’d go for hers, but she’s not getting married anytime soon so I guess she is impatient for a trip to Vegas. 😉 Although I did just go on a cruise with her for her graduation, so I don’t know what the big deal is.
@MissCallieJean: Everyone would be paying their own way, and I guess maybe for some of my expenses? I don’t really know…. but if they couldn’t come they would not have to contribute. That’s just crazy.
@UpstateCait: LOL I actually went to a bachelorette party in Saratoga last year and it was awesome! NYC is just a much cheaper, easier option for everyone involved and I would deff be happier if we had it here.
Thanks ladies, I will continue to push this… I swear, all of my BMs are going loco over this bachelorette party thing.. I just want to hang out in the city and have some drinks with my best friends!! In their defense though, I’m the first one in my group of friends getting married, so I think they are excited and it’s coming from a good place… but it’s just not what I want!!
Post # 9
Your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have to be the person to do the primary part of the planning, talk to your BMs (and maybe let your Maid/Matron of Honor know) that you’ve left this duty up to them. You might want to plan a quick meeting with all of them to let them know the style of party you want.
I was my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor, but one of her BMs did most of the planning. I supported her, paid for some things booked some things and did some of the shopping, but she did most of it. My sister is younger and wilder than I am, and her Bridesmaid or Best Man knew where to go. For my stagette, my sister (the MOH) will plan it, because I trust her to go with what I will like. Some of my BMs have had odd ideas and my sister has done a good job of reigning them in (and complaining about a few of their wacky ideas to me).