- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I would say you should definitely plan to cover the cost of the meal for both you and your boyfriend. If you don’t know the person that well I don’t personally understand why you are even attending the wedding. But since you are, I would say MINIMUM $100 but more likely $150.
thanks for the input everyone! we’ve decided to go with cash over the registry, a) because we think they want cash more and b) it’s easier! We’re going we $100 and I feel good about that. I checked it w my other coworker in the same scenario as me, except he’s known the guy for ~1 yr longer and he’s also going w $100 cash.
side note: some ppl said we shouldn’t go. what a bummer! the groom wants us to go and we want to go, so no reason to pretend otherwise! also, we are from NY and the cost of living is VERY different than nyc. where i’m from you can get a 3 bedroom apt for the price of a parking space in manhattan. haha!! beers cost $1.25 at the bar closest to my parents house. in ny. not nyc. just saying! it’s all good! everyone has different experiences and i’m appreciative of all opinions shared! thx all!
How close are you, and what can you afford? Those are the only criteria I use. I will spend more on my nieces and nephews than on my co-worker’s kid, sorry (not really sorry, I would expect the co-worker to say the exact same thing). And I refuse to spend more than I can afford on anyone. I think the “cover your plate” idea is silly. If the couple can afford $300/head more power to them, but why in the world does that obligate me to give a $300 gift? And if they couldn’t afford that much but paid it anyway… that means I’m also supposed to be irresponsible and spend more than I have? No way. I didn’t ask them to pay that much. Besides, how are you supposed to know what they spent, especially considering you buy the gift before you’ve even seen the meal? I think it’s rude and awkward to try to “price it out” and figure out what they paid. I always assume that people have invited me because they love me (or at least care about me) and want me to celebrate with them. I always give a nice gift, but I don’t feel it’s any of my business what they paid for their wedding.
My fiance is from up state NY and I would say a minimum of $100 gift for the both of you. I feel like that’s fine if you don’t know the person well, otherwise if you are close I’d say at least $200.
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