(Closed) How much should I give for this wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 62
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@DomesticDiva:  I never called anybody cheap or rude. Just saying how much i think OP should spend and $30-50 is too little for a new york wedding. OP is going to a wedding in NY. Sorry if i offended anyone, that wasn’t my intention.

 

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@Christy42213:  Yes gifts aren’t mandatory but its common etiquette to bring a gift to ANY party let alone a wedding. A gift is meant for the couple as a celebration of their marriage. Why wouldn’t you want to give a gift?

 

 

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@missmovies:  Totally agree with you.

Post # 63
Member
3336 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

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@sruan:  I agree with you!  I always bring a gift to a wedding I’m invited to.  I’m just pointing out that it’s not 100% necessary if the OP really can’t afford it.

Post # 64
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would say you should definitely plan to cover the cost of the meal for both you and your boyfriend. If you don’t know the person that well I don’t personally understand why you are even attending the wedding. But since you are, I would say MINIMUM $100 but more likely $150.

Post # 65
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@missmovies:  completely agree with you… Providing a nice meal open bar (and where else do you get to drink for free for 6 hours!?) and entertainment is well worth a substantial gift from two people. 

Post # 66
Member
463 posts
Helper bee

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@MLDoddie:  I understand completly what you are saying, however you’re taking what I said out of contex. I did not say that you are rude, I don’t know you personally, and I would never just assume, or say that about someone without merit or in an open forum. So please, re-read my comment.  I said to give a gift of that amount seems rude. Which is true, only because the OP specifically said that she is attending a wedding in NY, and not in another area of the nation. 🙂

 

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@DomesticDiva:  It seems that you’re suggesting that I don’t comprehend that there are varying expenses/wedding costs throughout the nation, and that I assume that the cost of living is the same across the board. Seriously? SMH. Again, the OP stated that she is attending a wedding in NY, and I was simply expressing my opinion and my honest perception of MLDoddies comment, as it relates to a NY wedding, not a “different area of the country,” as you stated.

 

Post # 68
Member
9258 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

How close are you, and what can you afford? Those are the only criteria I use. I will spend more on my nieces and nephews than on my co-worker’s kid, sorry (not really sorry, I would expect the co-worker to say the exact same thing). And I refuse to spend more than I can afford on anyone. I think the “cover your plate” idea is silly. If the couple can afford $300/head more power to them, but why in the world does that obligate me to give a $300 gift? And if they couldn’t afford that much but paid it anyway… that means I’m also supposed to be irresponsible and spend more than I have? No way. I didn’t ask them to pay that much. Besides, how are you supposed to know what they spent, especially considering you buy the gift before you’ve even seen the meal?  I think it’s rude and awkward to try to “price it out” and figure out what they paid. I always assume that people have invited me because they love me (or at least care about me) and want me to celebrate with them. I always give a nice gift, but I don’t feel it’s any of my business what they paid for their wedding.

Post # 69
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My fiance is from up state NY and I would say a minimum of $100 gift for the both of you. I feel like that’s fine if you don’t know the person well, otherwise if you are close I’d say at least $200.

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