HOW MUCH SHOULD I SPEND IF I AM IN THE WEDDING PARTY FOR A WEDDING GIFT?

posted 1 week ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
12676 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think your gifts are over the top already, and there is no need to spend anything additional. The bride and groom usually get larger and more sentimental gifts for their attendants, not the other way around.

Post # 3
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Chris4 :  I think you have done/given plenty.

There are other occasions for gift giving, save some for later. 

Post # 4
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Did the bride pick the gifts you got her? I would want to pick my own wedding jewellery and so I do think it’s a bit strange that you bought gifts specifically to be worn with her wedding dresses.
Again, does the groom know part of your gift is to take him for breakfast the day of the wedding? It’s likely he has his own timeline for the morning.

This all seems very OTT, even for very close friends.

Post # 5
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Esplanade Lakes Ballroom, Downers Grove IL

You are spending $500 on a gift PLUS flying + offering your services + taking the groomsmen out? WHOA, that is a LOT. In my experience best friends spend about $100 on a wedding gift and $80 for a shower gift…now I wonder if I was cheap lol.

Post # 6
Member
3185 posts
Sugar bee

You’ve already done things you shouldn’t have felt the need to do….buying all her accessories, the photobooth, etc. At this point, give a card with a nice message and call it a day. Did you feel like these were things you had to do or did the bride ask you to do them?? Like, I hope you don’t think being in the wedding party means chipping in for the actual event like you have and that you just wanted to do those things on your own!

Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

It sounds like you are their parent who host the wedding

Post # 9
Member
45763 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

For a wedding planner, you seem to have difficulty setting boundaries and not being taken advantage of. I find what you are doing for this couple to be in excess of what anyone could imagine, much less demand. 

Post # 11
Member
243 posts
Helper bee

I think you’re an amazing friend. He definitely means a lot to you.  

Post # 12
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You have already spent enough… stahhhhppp

 

 

Post # 13
Member
3038 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Ok I actually dot-pointed all this out because woah:

– You bought the bride an evening bag, bracelet and 2 pairs of earrings

– You bought the groom a watch

– You’re taking the groomsmen out for breakfast

– You’re making earrings and necklaces for the bridesmaids and buying them bracelets

– You’ve organised a photobooth

– You’ve bought a silk photo album

– You are their wedding planner

– You are doing the flowers

– You are decorating 3 cakes

– You spent 8 hours each with the bride and groom looking for outfits

– You found them their venue, church, caterer and bakery

…this couple appear to have outsourced their ENTIRE wedding to you. I do not think you’re a troll but this is kind of troll level over-the-top. 

So no, you don’t have to give or do any more things. You can stop now. 

Post # 14
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Either you are overly attached to this “friend” or he’s taking advantage of you.

Post # 15
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Nooooooooo you already bought him dinner for helping you assemble furniture. I don’t think the wedding gifts should be about repaying your “debts” to him.

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