Post # 1
A quick question
I have a baby shower next weekend for my cousin, and I’m not sure how much to spend on a gift.
It’s actually the first baby shower I’ve been invited to – all my friends and family are only really started having babies now (me included, TTC soon!)
For relationship context – I’m the closest to this family than the rest of my (quite large) family.
They have a registry set up, with most of the items uner $40, a few outliers around $150-$250 which have already been fulfilled (likely close family)
I was planning on buying a few items and spending around $100-$150
Is that right?
I don’t want to look cheap if the norm is to spend more (think the $150-$250 range), but I also don’t want to be that asshole who clearly “spent more” than the rest when most of their items are of lower value.
Or am I over thinking it? lol
*put this in Etiquette, as even though it’s Not Wedding Related, it’s still an etiquette question.
Post # 2
I suppose it’s what your budget allows? I would love to buy an $100+ gift, but most likely would miss more than $50 from my finances. I was blown away by the generosity of friends and family during my bridal shower, however. Maybe you guys can help explain to me how to afford large gifts? Does it cut into other aspects of your budget or are you financially able to budget hundreds of dollars a month for presents?
Post # 3
Depends. Our friends we spend about 50ish. I go on their registry and pick a few things that at most add to 50. My sil we did more like 100+ and got her diaper bag off her registry and then I filled it with cute outfits from carters and included receipts id she wanted to exchange. My cousins I would do about 50. If I was a single person and or younger I would also keep it at 50 or less. The people who spend a lot and are expected to are the grandparents on both sides, and any relatives and close friends that have actual close regular relationships with. You don’t owe someone a gift just because they are family. If I never hear from them and aren’t close to them than they just aren’t getting a big gift from me. You get what you give in that way.
Post # 4
It honestly depends on what you’re comfortable doing. I have ranges I stay in depending on my closeness to the couple having the baby. Typically though I spend around $30-50 unless I’m really close to the person. But I’ve gone to soooo many baby and wedding showers in the last several years…I can’t afford to do more than that for most people. It adds up!
Post # 5
This depends on your budget and how close the relationship is. I’ve given $50-$100 to family we’re not close to and we just gifted $400 to friends we’re super close to. It just depends.
Post # 6
You should gift what you can comfortably afford and are moved to spend based on the relationship. If a gift of $100 doesn’t leave you eating ramen for a week and you want to gift that amount based on your love and joy for your cousin then do so. If you can only afford one of the $40 gifts then thats the way to go.
Post # 7
I think I would typically spend between $30-40. Maybe if it was a sibling or bff I would spend more, but because I wanted to, not because its expected.
Post # 8
I’ve never spent more than $50 on a baby shower gift. I’ve also never seen items in the $100+ range gifted by anyone other than the grandparents.
Post # 9
Genuine question. If people gift approximately $50 for family, what is the amount typically gifted to coworkers? Maybe I’m spending too much! 😳
Post # 10
Base a gift on the closeness of the relationship, the occasion, and your budget. You don’t know anything about anyone else’s circumstances and finances, nor is it relevant. I go to a lot of baby showers, or used to. Gifts are always along a wide range of price points.
Post # 11
I think for most people I would spend between $25-50. Maybe if it’s a mom that I know really needs help more. I also spend quite a bit more for really close family and friends.
Post # 12
I usually spend around $75 for a good friend. Usually the “big ticket” items are bought by the hostesses as a group or close family members. I would say most of the gifts we got at our showers were anywhere from $50-100. I like to get something practical (bottles, bibs, bath stuff, etc) something cute (an outfit, a lovie or blanket, rattle, etc) , and a book.
Will you be attending with your mom, siblings, etc? If so, definitely ok to all go in on one of the big ticket items. If it’s a stroller, car seat, or something along those lines, it will get tons of use!
Post # 13
I ended up spending ~$100. Some items off the registry + a couple of cute little books I just picked up from our local Kmart in lieu of a card (by the parents’ request).
We are quite close to this family so I was happy to pay a bit over the norm.
Thanks for all your responses!