Post # 1
Here’s the dilemma… I know what I want my MOH/sister to wear. She hates the idea. She thinks that I’m trying to make her look ugly.
I swear I’m not!
I’m getting married in vegas and want my Maid/Matron of Honor to where a gold (which tends to look more tan anyway) colored dress. Gold and Vegas just go hand in hand! I would prefer to keep all of them in knee length dresses. So far it’s just my sister who has a problem, but she doesn’t even want to try on the gold dresses because she doesn’t think it’ll match her skin tone.
I could go black and red, but I really love my initial idea.
How much should I really care what she thinks?
Post # 3
Ask her to please try on some gold dresses. She doesn’t have to like them but she can at least try them on with an open mind.
Post # 4
I kind of think the dress and how that choice goes down sets the tone for the bridesmaids/MOH feeling about being a part of the wedding. I think if any of your girls hate the dress or color you pick you should reconsider. No one wants to feel like they look awful, even if you don’t think they do, you know?
Post # 5
if she’s not happy with her dress and feel comfortable in it..she’s not going to look happy or comfortable in your wedding photos.
Compromise. Maybe a black dress with gold in it. Or a black dress with gold shoes.
Post # 6
could you let them each pick out their own gold dress?
Post # 7
I’m trying. I’ve never been really bossy and usually do whatever I can to make everyone else happy. This is one time that I just want to focus on what I want.
I may just pick out a dress without actually seeing her in it, and just tell her to go get fitted. That way I don’t have to hear her whine. How horrible would that be!? lol
Post # 8
Ehh I don’t know. I was all about wanting to make my bridesmaids happy and bent over backwards, changing the color of the dresses, in order to please them. Looking back, I feel like I shoudl have just gone for what I wanted. As long as the dress isn’t uncomfortable (falling down, too tight, too low cut) and really doesn’t make them look awful, I feel like they need to suck it up and wear the dress. It’s 6 hours of their life, it’s not the end of the world.
Post # 9
I understand completely what most of you are saying about wanting them to be comfortable. I tend to agree. However, I’m afraid I compromise with one and the others won’t be happy.
I already have two people in my party that hate eachother.
Right now My Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t even want to try on the dresses I pick out. I guess I could just give them free reign and let them pick out their own dresses. Then I’ll be upset, but like always everyone else will be happy. 🙂
Post # 10
Is your Maid/Matron of Honor the only one who doesn’t like the dress? If that is the case, and I think you said she is your sister, maybe you can have your mom or a relative get involved and encourage her to try on the dress at least. There are more layers to the situation when it is your sister. I get what you are saying but I would just be wary of doing anything that is going to make your Maid/Matron of Honor upset for the rest of the time up to the wedding – esp. if she is your sister 😉 Also, ‘comfortable’ is very relative, I mean even if the dress fit well, if I really felt like I looked awful in the style or color I would be very uncomfortable.
Post # 11
I know how you feel! I wanted my girls to wear short dresses because I thought they would go better with our casualish/garden wedding. There’s 6 BMs and 2 MsOH. 4 of the BMs preferred long dresses, but I didn’t know what the MsOH were wearing yet (didn’t get to go dress shopping with them until months later) and if the MsOH had short dresses and all the others had long, I thought that would be a good way to set them apart. It was a tough decision: on the one hand I’m the bride and wanted to be able to say what I wanted them to wear, but on the other hand, they paid for their dresses, so I wanted them to like them. I’ve been in weddings where I was told what to buy, and I bought it but didn’t necessarily like it. I’ve also been in weddings where I was involved in choosing the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress; I much preferred the latter, so I wanted to do the same for my girls. In the end, it was more important to me that they like their dresses (although I did make an executive bridal decision and asked 2 of the BMs to get long, majority vote, eventhough they preferred short because I didn’t want it to look funny in pics; now I think I should have just let them get what they wanted but it’s too late). How much it matters if they like the dress I think depends on who pays for it.
Post # 12
I think you should care. They are the ones who have to wear it, and are doing a lot for you (hopefully). I would never make someone wear what they don’t want to.
Post # 13
I think you should to an extent, but I’m also of the opinion that the BM’s should just wear what they’re asked, within reason. Unless the gold honestly looks horrible on her, thats the theme you want, and she should go with it. I would NEVER tell a bride to change their colour scheme because I didnt like the colour on me… I think the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress colours & styles are the brides choice, and the BMs should just suck it up. Since she’s being really difficult, I’d go with your plan, sounds like she’s being kinda bratty/unreasonable to not even try them on and give it a chance.
Also, I think too many BM’s forget that it’s not THEIR wedding, no one is really going to be paying attention to them that much, the focus is on the bride. Sure they dont want to look horrible, but they shouldn’t give the bride a hard time either over something that is really for the bride & groom. Just my opinion.
Post # 14
Hmmm. Personally, my Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaid’s opinion of their dresses were more important to me than my own. I retained veto power, but I love my girls and wanted them to be happy. It sucks having to drop $100+ on a dress you don’t like and will never wear again.
Post # 15
I agree with europomme. I would never in a million years tell the bride i hated the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. I think this is your day and you should have what you want on your day. It’s only one day!
Question, how does she know its going tolook awful if she wont even try it on??
Post # 16
I think the color of the dress is completely the bride’s call, as it usually ties into other elements of the wedding. As for the syle of the dress, you should absolutely take into consideration what the girls are comfortable with. Choosing a skintight, shiny satin number when your girls aren’t model thin, or forcing a large chested woman to wear a backless dress sans bra, for expample, is just wrong.
But your sister doesn’t like gold? I say too bad. 🙂