(Closed) How much should you ask your bridal party members to pay for hotel rooms?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll:

    Way too much, dream smaller!

    That's fairly reasonable, go ahead!

    That's cheap, book away!

  • Post # 47
    Member
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Will you get a discount booking together?

    If not, then you don’t need to book them at the same time. You could just send out at email saying that you and your guy are staying at such-and-such B&B and if they want to stay there as well, there are rooms avialble, but they should book soon, because the rooms may sell out. You might also want to mention that this way they wouldn’t have to worry about drinking at dinner, because they wouldn’t need to drive – that would be enough motivation for me!

    If you are getting a significant discount, you could just send an email saying the same thing but explaining that there is a group discount, so they need to let you know if they want to be at the B&B by such-and-such date.

    But this is just how I would handle it. I had a block of rooms at one hotel and didn’t ask anybody to stay there specifically, but I think all the bridal party stayed there anyway. Honestly, if someone told me I needed to get a room at a certain B&B that was a little pricey, I might roll my eyes, but I’d get over it and have a blast. Either way, not the end of the world.  

    Post # 48
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I wouldn’t have an issue with that price if I was able to share the room with someone and split the cost. I definitely wouldn’t want to pay 200 a night on my own though. I’d rather find a room cheaper somwhere else

    Post # 49
    Member
    1915 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I would just let them book a room wherever they wanted.  Only one of my bridesmaids stayed in the same hotel as me, because the other hotel’s block was only $99.  My hotel was $149.  I’m not going to fault them.  They were all there on time and ready to go in the morning.  

    Post # 50
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @TroubadourTango:  Yeah, forget that. Want to stay with us girls? I’ll help! Want to stay with your man someplace completely different? You’re on your own…

    Post # 51
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    @TroubadourTango:  Unless you are paying for them to stay, they should have the option to stay where ever they like – including if that means driving home to save money.  It also seems like you are trying to pawn off paying for the place for the breakfast afterwards and stuff on them – that’s fine if it’s their suggestion, but it’s not cool to assume your bridal party will be paying for parts of your wedding.

    Post # 53
    Member
    2836 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @TroubadourTango:  I think you need to consider it optional– meaning– you should address teh fact that you’d love them to stay with you for 2 nights, but them know you understand if that’s a lot of money.  I, of course- found it easy to spend $300/night to stay in our suite for our wedding the night before AND the night of– and I would have loved if my BMs stayed with me.  But there’s no way I could have asked them to pay that kind of money– and none of them even stayed the night of the wedding.  

     

    Even if you know they have the money, you can’t expect that they will want to spend it on 2 nights of hotel.

    Post # 54
    Member
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    So you wouldn’t be getting ready in your room but in these common rooms? Could you maybe reserve the common rooms for that morning?

    It sounds like you have some pretty high expectations for getting ready for the wedding. And that’s okay. Honestly, I got ready in the suite of a super dated Best Western and didn’t think a thing about it. So we obviously have different priorities. Again, that’s okay. But realize that your priorities are not necesarily the same as your bridal party. So my advice still stands to let them choose, but if you don’t, not the end of the world.

    And, personally, I think what you’re describing sounds lovely and if I was in your bridal party I would totally book the B&B. But I’d appreciate the option to pick something cheaper or ride back and forth if finances were tight. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    2942 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We are in a similar situation where we are getting married 1.5 hours away from where we and most of our bridal party lives.  Yep, they can totally drive back and forth, but before I even started planning, I had a nightmare about someone having a flat tire on their way to our wedding.  So I get wanting to have people with hotel rooms.

    But because it would be an option for people to go home, and I would REALLY prefer for them to stay in town, I’m paying their hotel rooms.  They understand that since I’m paying, they get roommates, which keeps the number of rooms down to 4 between our entire wedding party (with no more than 4 people to a room, and allowing couples to stay together) 

    The boil down that a lot of PPs gave is pretty correct.  If you require it, you pay.  If I didn’t pay, I would live with the fact that for certain at least 3 couples that are in our wedding party would go back that night and come back the next morning. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    @TroubadourTango:  You can ask themif they want to stay at the B&B – but you have to accept if they say no, or if they want to find something less expensive.  That way you would know now if you should reserve one or both of the B&Bs.

    Post # 57
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @TroubadourTango:  Yeah, driving 2 hours to and from both the rehearsal and the wedding is a bit much, and it’s definitely lots of fun to have everyone staying together. I think at least some of the people will opt to stay the night anyway, but I would suggest that since you are worried about the distance and were originally going to pay for the chateau, maybe you could subsidise their B&B lodging, even if you can’t cover their full stay. You could even do it in lieu of wedding party gifts, or as part of their gifts. We did it for our wedding party and our friends did the same for us too when we were in their wedding party and I can say that it’ll definitely be appreciated. No one had to worry about transport and designated drivers and everyone could just have a blast! 🙂

     

     

    Post # 58
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

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    @EffieTrinket:  I love this idea… Thanks for that tip

    Post # 59
    Member
    13905 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think that’s pretty pricey, given the fact that Charlottesville has tons of hotels where you can get a lot cheaper rates.  I’ve stayed in hotels as cheap as $100/night there.

    If you want to use them for getting ready, that’s fine, but you should pay for the room and have them meet you there if they don’t want to pay that cost for a hotel.  I certaintly wouldn’t, when I could pay one-third a short distance away

    Post # 60
    Member
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @TroubadourTango:  Of the many details that go into your wedding, where your bridal parties stay is a small, forgettable detail after the event. As long as it’s clean, comfortable, and reasonable, there is no reason for anyone to be unhappy. The special experience comes at your wedding; where people sleep is just where they sleep.

    Post # 61
    Member
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If it’s about having a nice place to spend time with your girls before the wedding, consider getting a room for the day and hanging out there once everyone arrives from their respective hotels or homes. It gives you the charm and ambience you seem to be seeking for the day while meaning you only have to cover the cost of one room (or two if you want the groom’s side to have a similar room too).  We are paying for my mum to stay at a really high-end hotel downtown, and that’s where I will put on my dress with my girls. The photographer will also come there, so the background of my getting ready pics will be a luxurious hotel room.  

     

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