(Closed) How much 'sway' does your FI's opinion get?

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My Fiance didn’t give me any feedback on dress preferences, nor did I ask.  I think your dress choices are very nice and suitable for a beach wedding.  I certainly don’t think they’re too informal.  I especially like the first and third dresses!

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

If you don’t want to listen to your Fiance, don’t ask for his opinion. My FI’s opinion gets some weight because we talked about it and I don’t want to ignore his wishes. I think those dresses are really lovely! 

Post # 5
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I love the third dress…..especially with the sleeves.

I think the second one is too heavy for a beach weddiong, and the first one is okay, not that my opinion matters LOL

I think it is okay to get your FI’s opinion to a point. He needs to realise that you do not feel comfortable in white and since you are not having a “traditional” wedding so to speak, he should not feel the need for his bride to wear white on the wedding day.

Maybe you can find something that is a little more on the formal side but still with a dash of color so you can both be happy. There are SOOOO many different kinds of dresses. Even getting a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and wearing it as a wedding dress is a possibility.

Post # 6
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I wouldn’t worry about what your bridesmaids think, but I (personally) think that your dress/the ceremony should fit into a level of formality/traditionality that your Fiance is comfortable with.  On the flip side, I think that any of the dresses you’re looking at are formal enough, and you might remind him that you’ll have hair/makeup/a bouquet, and all the other stuff he usually associates with weddings (well, if you are going to have that stuff).

I’ve given mine as much input/sway as he wants, which turns out to be quite a bit.  We’re probably altering my mom’s dress (which is long-sleeved and rather traditional, but so beautiful), so I wanted to make sure that he was going to be enthusiastic about a more conservative/full-coverage option.

He has been incredibly helpful in the process–he LOVED the idea from the minute I showed him pictures of the dress, and has been 100% supportive.  Not a guy who usually has any opinions on clothes, either…

Post # 7
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Love the first and third! Pefect for a beach wedding and look bridal! Stop asking anyones opinion and just surprise them. Even though they can’t envision your look right now, the day of the wedding you will look beautiful and your husband will be blown away and so will your guest.

Post # 8
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Honestly, your wedding is in July, plenty of time for him to forget what dresses you’ve shown him. When he sees these dresses, he sees them on models; so when you’re all dolled up and with the emotional climate on that day, he won’t care at all what you’re wearing. He’ll just think you’re beautiful, and you’re agreeing to be his forever.

I would drop the dress subject with him and be firm on no dress shopping with your BMs. It’s your wedding, do it how you want to. Maybe you could go dress shopping with your BMs for their own dresses, just not your own? Or go accessories shopping.

Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I really like the first dress for your beach wedding. Its flowy and if its winding it would look really nice surreal like. As for opinion my fiance gets considerable sway but at the end of the day we both know its my decision (in terms of the dress). I found this ivory/gold dress i really like but he want me to be in white because he always envisioned his wife in a white dress. I haven’t bought the dress because I’m considering his opinion but not sure on what my final decision will be, so I can understand your concern. However, as many people have advised me at the end of the day you will be wearing the dress and you want to look back and be happy with the decision you’ve made.

Post # 10
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think your first choice is beautiful… and looks a lot like a wedding gown. 

Post # 11
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Downtown Riverfront Cafe

LOVE the 1st and 3rd. Adorable and very bridal, but certainly less formal. Great choices and love the splash of soft color. Your fiance will appreciate whatever you are wearing on your wedding day, I assume, and it’s your wedding…not your friends’. 😉

Post # 13
Member
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I showed my Fiance a bunch of “styles” and took what he said into consideration, but I’m sure he’ll think you’re gorgeous in anything you choose… a lot of guys don’t realize what a dress is going to look like on a hanger vs on a person vs on HIS person vs on HIS person, on his wedding day, with all the trimmings/hair/makeup/etc. How that stuff can dress a gown up or down doesn’t usually occur to them, so he might not have all the information.

Also that first dress is INCREDIBLE and totally formal and amazing and you would look even more amazing in it on the beach. Like a spirit that walked right out of the ocean. 

I give him sway wherever he wants it, which is moderate.

Post # 14
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I get to tell my husband what to wear when we got married, so, he has every right to have input on what I’d be wearing/my bridesmaids.

Post # 15
Member
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think he should get a little say esp if your getting a say in what he wears….as far as the BMs, i think its just they expect to do that as BMs and think its part of the wedding fun and maybe just want the experience of it….have you considered other options that still give you the less expensive not so formal look, but look a bit more bridal which may suit your Fiance more??? here are a few links if your interested….you can always try that and see if you can find a happy medium that works for both of you, but i honestly think that regardless of what you wear in that moment when you walk towards him i HIGHLY doubt hes goin to be thinking “ughhh that dress”, his thoughts will probably be more along the lines of “oh my god she looks beautiful, here she comes, holy s^^^t thats my WIFE!”…..at least thats what every married man has ever told me about their wifes wedding dress….alot of times the see a picture and go huh…that looks not good in a picture but on its a different story…..maybe hes just saying hewants you to look more bridal-ish, not that you have to put on a $9000000 ball gown, just maybe something more white, it could be the color thats throwing him too….why dont you ask him what he wants to see you in and what he would change about it….it could be as easy as the accent colors or the straps or something being easily fixable thats just throwing him off….it cant hurt to ask…..best of luck!

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Tea-Length-Dress-BR1000_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_One-Shoulder-Chiffon-Gown-with-Side-Drape-231M10050_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Sheath

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http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Chiffon-Gown-with-Draped-Cowl-Neck-and-Lace-Detail-874650_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Sheath

Post # 16
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you should do what you want. Your Fiance will think you’re beautiful walking down the aisle anyhow. I think the third dress in your original post is gorgeous!

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