(Closed) How much time between deciding to have kids to active TTC

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
2303 posts
Buzzing bee

I didn’t catch whether your SO is on board with wanting a kid. Did you talk to him already about all these feelings and he’s on the same page? Just curious because it would change how you prepare if he’s not anywhere in the realm of wanting a kid anytime soon.

 

As for your initial question- we decided to start TTC and I had my IUD removed a week after. The first cycle trying I got pregnant. For us, we had a conversation much like the one you need to have (if you haven’t already) talking about timing and goals. We decided we’d like to go abroad for a few years after my current job ends (2020). We didn’t want an infant and we also preferred not to wait until after we returned since that would make me about 34 when we started trying and I already have health challenges. Therefore, starting right away meant likely having at least a one year old before we moved. 

Post # 3
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

We had discussed our TTC plan probably around the time we got engaged, so May 2015. We decided we would get married (July 2016), do some traveling and having fun for a year, then start TTC in Aug/Sep 2017. We were fortunate to get pregnant with a sticky baby by Oct 2017 and I am currently 17 weeks.

We have also been together for 8 years, and discussed wanting a family, so for us it was just timing.

Post # 4
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We always knew we wanted kids. It was always a question of “when,” not “if.” I was ready to start trying a few months before DH. When he decided he too was ready, we started trying immediately. 

It sounds like you’ve done a 180 from not being sure you ever wanted kids, to badly wanting them ASAP in a pretty short amount of time. I would talk to your partner and think this through carefully before making any decisions. 

Post # 7
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
elliebee357 :  About 3 years. Now-DH and I decided we wanted more kids (I have a stepson) about a year into dating. We knew we wanted to get married and I wanted to finish grad school because I was working with chemicals that we’re dangerous for fetal development. We started TTC after we got married, I got a full time job, and I started grad school part time to finish my thesis. It took us 8 months (9 menstrual cycles) to get our BFP – longer than anticipated, but the timing was perfect. We got our BFP 2 days after I turned in the final draft of my thesis for graduation! It’s now about 4 years after we decdide we wanted more kids, and our baby will here in April ☺️

Post # 8
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
elliebee357 :  I should add, when we got married, we decided to “talk about when to TTC” a month before our first anniversary because I thought I would be done with my lab work by then. Then, when we hit that point, we realized we couldn’t start trying yet, and decided to start trying 7 months later. So I started prenatals vitamins. We ended up starting to TTC only 4 months later because we were so excited. Lol

I recently gave my best friend the advice to set a timeline to talk about it – this way there is time to figure out the when and where you want to be.

Best of luck with this decision and journey!

Post # 10
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

DH and I always knew we wanted kids but were very unclear about the timing. We currently live abroad and knew we wanted to be back closer to family before having our first for similar reasons to you (language, understanding how the systems work hee, etc). If we were planning to stay here longer we’d probably just go ahead and have the first but we knew we were going to be moving back in the ’17/’18/’19 time area so just stuck it out. 

In summer ’17 we had a talk of “probably TTC within the next 2 years maximum” and then about a month ago we decided to stop preventing in August ’18 with the hope that I’ll be pregnant by the end of the year. Ideal would be to get pregnant in Sep/Oct as I’d like to have my maternity leave over the summer 😀

So it will be about a year from our first rough timeline and 8ish months from when we pinpointed a more exact date to start TTC. 

As for changes in behavior – not much really. I’ll probably stop drinking alcohol and caffeine in August but that’s about it until I actually test positive. Really those changes are things I would like to do anyway but don’t have a good enough reason to motivate the behavior change.

Otherwise, our situation sounds simlar to yours: we’re savers by nature, we’re financial secure (but not flush), I’m in healthy weight and have a healthy diet. I could probably be a bit more fit but I’m by no means a couch potatoe.

Most changes will come once I test positive. I’ll take pre-natals, I’ll be stricter with my diet and we’ll start putting away daycare money each month just so that we adapt our budget and lifestyle to that extra expense. We’ll then use that money to finance baby supplies, potential birth expenses, and have a little savings pool to use as extra babycare (e.g. nights out) for further down the line. 

Post # 12
Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Well we’ve been talking about wanting kids for years but we still had things we wanted to do first, like we got married, bought a house and have been slowly painting and renovating one room at a time for the past 2 years, my husband just finished grad school. Originially I thought summer 2018 we would TTC, but now that it’s fast approaching, we decided to do some more traveling instead. We are going to Japan in March and then Costa Rica in July (which has zika) so now we will TTC probably summer 2019. But that just gives us more time to save money and mentally/emotionally/physically prepare. It seems like a long way away right now but I know it will be here before we know it. Perhaps us pushing back our timeline is our subconsious way to say we just aren’t ready yet, which is fine, we have no need to rush.

Post # 13
Member
2133 posts
Buzzing bee

We talked about wanting to try for kids early on in our relationship and I stopped BC about 6 weeks before we got married and we immediately started trying.

Post # 14
Member
1814 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

We talked about waiting a year before trying to conceive so we will start trying this summer and see what happens

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