Post # 1
For those bees that already had their wedding…..
How much time did you spend with your husband at your wedding reception/wedding night?
My Fiance was telling me last night how excited he is to hang out with all his friends at the reception. He sees this group of friends about twice a month. They are on a team together, so he sees them at practice and then out for drinking afterwards and he sees them at out of state events (events lasts 4 days) every other month (and drinking and partying there). He told me “honestly I’m going to be on such a high hanging out with them I’m going to want to go to the bar or casino afterwards”. I told him that’s fine by me and that my Maid/Matron of Honor and her husband would probably come too. I told him to decide what we are doing and to book a room. (Hotel and bars close to reception or casino and hotel about 30 minutes away) He then went on to tell me that he needed to talk to his friends (and his uncles from out of town) to see what THEY wanted to do. I told him I think we should just make our own plans and if other people join us that’s great. He said it’s not fair to ditch the guests and not tell them what we are doing ahead of time.
My thought is…it’s our wedding night! People will understand and we are in no way obligated to entertain them or have them be with us all night. We will be doing an open house style brunch the next morning for out of town family. I don’t think what his friends and family want to do should dictate how our wedding night should go. When I told him this he said then I should just pick and book a hotel.
Then I got to thinking….am I being unrealistic and I should just let him have his fun? We get to see each other all the time anyway. But at the same time I’m feeling that I may hardly even see my new husband at our reception and the wedding night.
What do you ladies think?
Post # 2
Well, I don’t have any real advice about the after party since I didn’t have one, but I do know that I spent actually very little time with my Darling Husband at our reception. I was busy saying hello to people I knew and he was busy with his friends and family. We would reconnect and then get pulled away again. There were a couple of songs that we danced to and we got some more pictures during the reception so it wasn’t a huge deal. I guess in regards to the afterparty, just remember that all of your guests are there to celebrate both of you as a couple, not individually so you and him and all your combined friends should go out after but it shouldn’t turn into “guys night” on your wedding night.
Post # 3
ChristinaC598: Ummm….he’s nuts…lol. The reception IS to entertain your guests, once it ends they’re on their own. Sure, lots of couples go out with friends to continue the party but I certainly wouldn’t plan it around your friends. Y’all make the plans you want to make and they’ll adjust. That being said, I can’t imagine going out after my wedding. We were SO exhausted at the end of the night we just wanted to get in bed and relax. That being said, at the reception we didn’t spend a ton of time together. We ate dinner at our sweetheart table and greeted guests but I danced a lot (my Darling Husband doesn’t really dance) but he did join me for some dancing towards the end of the night.
Post # 4
ChristinaC598: This sounds like something my husband would say! He actually said to me, “I’m probably going to spend most of the reception hanging out with my friends”. I was like, UM – what about me, your WIFE?
I will admit, there were times during the night where he disappeared and I was off doing dancing with my friends, etc. There are SO many people to talk to – everyone wants to say hello – and you do get separated at times. I couldn’t find him during our last dance of the night! He was at the bar (in our venue), lol. We did spend A TON of time together on the dance floor though and that was so fun.
As for the after party thing – we had a bar on the venue grounds that we went to. I agree that you don’t need to provide info about where you’re going beforehand. I’d have your DJ make an announcement at the end of your wedding- “The bride and groom invite you to an afterparty at XXXXXX casino! Meet them there immediately following the reception”.
I loved our after party – it gave me the chance to really hang out with the people I really cared about. The reception was more of a “Hello, thank you for coming” greeting to family, colleagues of our parents, etc.
ETA: I would block rooms off at whatever hotel is closest to where your after party is. If youre heading to the casino after, I’d block rooms at the hotel there so people can easily attend the after party if they wish!
Post # 5
We spent a lot of time together at our reception, but it was fairly small so we weren’t really being pulled in many directions. We took off for about 20-30 minutes during dinner with our photo/video guys to catch the sunset so that was really nice. Save for a few times I was off taking shots with my girls or him with his guys, we were pretty together the whole time.
Post # 6
ChristinaC598: I spent a ton of time with my husband at our reception. We walked around greeting people together and then danced together the majority of the night. We didn’t do anything with the guest after. That time was just for us, plus we had to be up at like 3 am to catch the plane for our honeymoon. (If at all avoidable, DO NOT schedule a flight early in the morning after your wedding!) Most of our guest came from out of town so we did have time with them the days leading into the wedding. We had 60 – 70 guests. I think it really depends on both of your personalities. If that sounds fun to both of you, go for it.
Post # 7
We were both off socializing with our individual friends and family for most of the reception. I’d say we were together maybe 40% of the time. It just went by so fast and there were so many people to touch base with. But after the reception, a bunch of us went out and Darling Husband & I were together the rest of the night. We didn’t make any kind of formal announcement, everyone who wanted to go out afterward just kind of hung around the reception hall and then we all decided what we wanted to do together.
Based on my wedding, I think your Fiance is crazy to think he’s actually going to have time to HANG OUT with his friends at the reception. Every 5 minutes, I had another guest pulling me away or the DJ calling us to the dancefloor for X, Y, or Z activity. I’m surprised I even got to eat dinner.
Post # 8
We spent 50/50. We ate together, danced together, etc. but we were also busy saying hello to other friends and family members. After the reception we went to our apartment, opened all the presents (like at 2 in the morning LOL) and went to a hotel on the beach we had booked for the entire weekend.
Post # 9
My Fiance and i are complete opposite so i already told him that i would probably be out dancing and him and my brother will be in some corner as my brother cries about their bromance and how it’s faded away lol. Seriously he will probably hang out with my brother and his weird friends while i am on the dance floor. He dont dance at all so it will be really interesting.
Post # 10
ChristinaC598: Darling Husband actually had a bit of a hissy fit during the reception because he wasn’t able to hang out with his friends as much as he wanted to. To be fair, these were friends he hadn’t seen in a few years and at that point, we didn’t have a chance to sit and relax so he was a little overwhelmed.
That being said, we spent a a good amount of time with each other during the reception so once all the formalities of first dance, table visit, and cake cutting were over, he went to go hang out with friends while I went around and spent some time with other guests. It wasn’t a lot of time though and the evening went by so fast, so I think it’s a little unrealistic for your Fiance to spend a lot of time with his friends.
As far as the after party, I agree with NowMrsS with that it shouldn’t turn into a guy’s night on your wedding night. He sees them regularly, so it’s not like they’re never going to get to hang out with each other. We didn’t plan an after party, but we ended up hanging out with our out of town friends in the ballroom after other guests left and ended up getting back to our room at around 3am. We were exhausted!
Post # 11
We spent some time together, but did spend a lot of it separate. I was off talking with friends and family, to make sure that I had make some sort of contact with them during the evening. Although, that was hard! Darling Husband was also making the rounds with his family and friends, so I never thought it was a bad thing that we weren’t constantly with one another.
It was easier towards the end of the night when some people had left, and the ones that were still there were on the dance floor, including Darling Husband and I. I didn’t feel that I missed out not being with him 100%… we both had a great time and everything was great that day.
Post # 12
Thanks for reassuring me that he is crazy and not me…haha! I assumed we wouldn’t be with each other 100% of the time at the reception.
NowMrsS: you said it perfectly for me…it’s not “guys night”. He can have a bachelor’s party for that!