(Closed) How Much Time Do You Spend with In-Laws?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
6112 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have it easier because they live 900 miles away!

I love my future ILs; they are so nice and sweet.  I see them 1 or 2 times a year.  I have been left alone with Future Mother-In-Law for the day and we go for walks and visit thrift stores (both things we like!).



Post # 18
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatory

We visit the ILs way more than my family bc they are here in Switzerland and my family is in the US. That said, we only see them like once a month… sometimes a couple times a month, but it’s not so much.

Mr. FC usually travels a lot or is out of the country a lot more than me, so I do go over for dinner or day trips with his parents when he’s not here. Seems a shame for them not to see either of us just because DH is gone, and we get along fine, even though I’m not totally fluent in German and my Mother-In-Law doesn’t speak English.

If someone has an idea of something to do and it sounds fun (like coffee or shopping) I’d say to go for it. It sounds like your ILs will appreciate getting to know more, which they can do better when your hubs is not around. But at the same time… in some cases it seems kinda weird for them to invite you over and not their son, ya know what I mean? Anyway… if it’s natural and you’re OK with opening up a bit more to them, I’d recommend trying it out. ๐Ÿ™‚

And don’t worry, you can still totally ignore what they say/think about houses/babies/whatever. I promise! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 19
33 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that everyone’s situations are different.  My Future In-Laws live right next door to us.  I LOVE IT!  They are just like parents to me, and they are so good to us.  My fiance works in a family business across the street with his Dad, so he sees him everyday.  He also works 3 nights a week after work with his mom in her gardens.  I, on the other hand, working 2 jobs, try to make sure that I see them at least once a week.  If I can, I try to see them more, if we have a free night during the week.  His sister and her family live behind us across the field, so we try to make it there as much as possible as well.  They are amazing people and I wish I could spend more time with them than I get to.  Once we start a family though, I’m sure I will be seeing them much more, LOL. 

Post # 20
1012 posts
Bumble bee

too much

Post # 21
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it depends. I also have a good relationship with my inlaws. They live in another state but since we(Fi and I) and them like to travel alot we end up seeing each other quite a bit. I was invited to go on a girls weekend with my Future Mother-In-Law , Future Sister-In-Law and some other female family members I am excited and would like to develop a nice soild relationship with them so I am looking forward to it. When they came up to New York last year for a wedding, they got in earlier then Fi. I took a day off work and took the bus up, we did the tourist thing and went to dinner and a show with just them and I, and it was fine. So every once in a while when Fi isn’t around I have no issues going to see them alone.

Post # 22
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I consider them MY family too, so of course I hang out with them. We lived with my Father-In-Law for 5 years, I talk to my SIL a few times a week, and we see them at least once a month (I would spend more time with her, but they live an hour away, and I can’t just drive on a whim there). My husband goes fishing with my dad and/or my brother a couple times a month.  We really love each others families, so I don’t see why I would treat them any differently than my own family

Post # 23
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We see my inlaws about every other week. I also talk to my Mother-In-Law once a week. I will say that I have known them and been friends with them since 94 so our background is different than most. We also have an infant son so that is why we talk regularly.

Post # 24
3313 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wish I could spent more time with them.  ๐Ÿ™  I lived with them for about 6 months and they are an amazing family and I love them to pieces.  We only get to see them about once a year now though due to distance (they are 6k miles away).  My husband spends a LOT of time with my folks since we are currently living with them.  They get along wonderfully and there are definitely times when my husband will do stuff with them when I’m not around.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 25
3306 posts
Sugar bee

Not a whole lot of time.

Post # 26
5285 posts
Bee Keeper

I live with mine so I see them everyday but it doesnt mean I converse with them everyday. Sometimes after work I just go home and go to our room and not talk to them at all other times I will have a conversation with them. The good thing is that we dont ever eat with them and do our own thing in that department which is nice.

Post # 27
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well considering my in laws liver 4 hours or so away in another state. The only time we see them is if we go stay the weekend with them or they come down for the weekend to stay with us. 

I do spend time alone with DH’s mom only because that is due to DH and his dad are avid golfers and go golfing.  Now if they are visiting us, my SIL and her kids would be around to. 

It all varies on what is going on and when we see them


Post # 28
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We live in one city, my Future Mother-In-Law lives in another, and Future Father-In-Law in yet another. We see Future Mother-In-Law about one weekend per month. During that weekend we spend all 48 hours with her as we’ll be staying at her house or she at ours. I don’t go out of my way to spend time alone with her, but sometimes Fiance will leave the house and it’ll be just us. She’d like to go out with me more, but I’m more the type to stay home. She’s a heavy drinker and I don’t really like to drink, so I’d rather not go out alone with her.

We see Future Father-In-Law about once every two months. I’ve never spent time alone with him.

If my Fiance were answering this question, he’d have to say that he’s only spent time with my parents once in 4 years ๐Ÿ™ We live in another country and my Fiance doesn’t speak English, so that makes things hard. Less than two months until they come visit, though! And God willing we’ll be visiting them for a month soon!

Post # 29
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

DH & I work together for the same company, which my parents own so we see both of my parents every day. We usually see them outside of work like once a week. So that would be DH’s anwser.

Mine..uhg. When DH and I were dating, we literally spent everyday at his parents house (he lived there) so I got my fair share of in-laws for 2 years. Now, they come over EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I see both of his parents, and his sister & her DH and daughter everyday. I think this is complete overkill & they are quickly wearing out their welcome with me. I used to go hang out with my SIL like 3-4 times a week, just us two, and her daughter.. now that she lives across the hall I can’t help but groan when I hear a knock on the door. They ALL just pop in for a 5min-2 hour visit every night. It’s too much for me. I love them, but damn.


Post # 30
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I see mine as rarely as possible – and am dreading this Sunday, when my Mother-In-Law comes down for my shower – she is the only person from FI’s side coming, so I’m really nervous that she’s going to attach herself to me for the day.  And I don’t want that.  Seriously – this woman gives me nervous breakdowns, because I never do anything right.

Post # 31
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

We live with my Future In-Laws.  So, you could say a lot of time.  Future Mother-In-Law and I do everything together.  Literally.  I probably spend more time with her than I do with my Fiance.  She doesn’t work everyday, so when she’s home we do all of our shopping and errands together.  I don’t really do as much with Future Father-In-Law, alone, but I see him every single day in our home. 

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