Post # 1
I’m making a poll to find out how much time you would say you spend with your SO vs alone or with friends. Please also write in more detail below if you wish!
The reason I am trying to gather information is because I have been with my SO for 2 years now, living together for 1, and we literally spend all of our time together, I honestly don’t remember the last time I was without him other than when one of us is at work. (Part time work, we are in college, same schedules).
I feel like this is unhealthy but it just doesn’t feel like it. We never get bored of each other, we love spending time together, so far there haven’t been any negatives from it but I still don’t know if it’s the best thing to do for our relationship.
I’m looking for advice and maybe some personal stories! I want to make sure our relationship stays strong and healthy and interesting long term and I want to ensure i’m not jeopardizing that.
Post # 2
I voted 1 night apart per week, however I only included social events. I often have to go to work functions/events in the evening which are fun, but obligatory and dh isn’t invited so I don’t think that counts.
We have a tight group of mutual friends that we will usually see together but I’ll often catch up with one or two of my girls and dh catches up with 1 or 2 of the guys. Us girls will get our nails done, or grab a wine, the guys work on each other’s cars or just catch up for a beer. We will also catch up with the mutual friend group solo if the other is sick/has work commitment s/doesn’t feel like it.
We are pretty independent and I like that, but we’ve also been together for 7 years. We were more joined at the hip early on in our relationship.
I think it’s fine to spend most of your time together as long as you aren’t neglecting friends or your relationship. I like seeing dh less when it means the time we do spend together is meaningful rather than sitting in the loungeroom together while doing our own thing (like right now – he’s playing xbox and I’m on here lol)
Post # 3
I wasn’t really sure how to answer this question because our situation is a bit different. We both have crazy work schedules and I work nights and he’s on days so we only get to go to bed together maaaaybe once a week. I figured that a more accurate description of our time would be hours we will have together this week so I calculated it out for you. This week we have 37 waking hours we could spend together. I might go dress shopping one of those days so that number may go down. This is actually the most time we’ve had together each week in the last year and a half. It honestly breaks my heart that we don’t get more time together and he feels the same way. It just feels like it’s never enough. I say that unless you’re driving eachother nuts or not allowing one another free time with other poeple then it’s healthy. Life’s short! Spend however much time you want together. Plus if you’re an introvert then staying home may be what makes you happy. No need to force outings when you’re happy cuddled up watching Netflix!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey
According to my mom who’s resented my while we couldn’t help but wanted to be together, it’s all the time! In fact, my fiance and I were together a lot last year, currently we live in a small city and our world views don’t go in line with the majority, so there’s nothing we enjoy more than each other’s company. We seem to not get bored of it either.
Just like you, I was considering why don’t I feel like running away because I’m normally very independent and I was with my former relationships.
We both sometimes spend time with the fam or friends, or in my case I usually have me time watching shows nowadays. So when life gets busy, there’s not much spare time for your SO in my opinion. It’s healthy to sometimes miss each other to keep the spark. But if that pattern works for you, why change it right?
Post # 5
I probably see my friends on my own about once a week (sometimes more, sometimes less), and he does the same, but it’s usually on different days. I typically also have one work-related evening activity (either social or educational) a week.
We do like to spend a lot of time together (basically every weekend is quality couples time) but we prefer seeing our friends seperately. Apart from one couple, we don’t have the same friends so dragging the other along just means less quality “friend time” and less quality “couple time” all in one hit, so we try and avoid it. Annoyingly most of my friends always bring their other halves so there’s an expectation to bring your partner but I’d much rather just see the girls on their own.
I strongly believe that a bit of independence makes for a healthier relationship.
Post # 6
I probably see my own friends about once a fortnight, and then my other group of friends I see less often but we live further away since university ended so when we do get together once every two or three months we tend to do a whole weekend thing.
SO has more friends in our current city so he probably sees some of them once a week or so, but he doesn’t do any overnight trips. On the nights SO is out I like to take advantage of the alone time and go shopping or take a yoga class.
Our main friends are joint so we usually see friends several times a week but we’re together.
Post # 7
Well we work a part. In the weekends I run errands one morning & grocery shop. He doesn’t come. I also might exercise and he doesn’t come. Or have brunch or coffee with a friend.
He has a lot of extra curricular activities and work events in the evenings.
So he might be away one night a week and I might be away one morning in the weekend.
We love spending time together. However some times I need time alone to watch trash tv.
Post # 8
The only time we’re ever apart is when either of us are working and even then we spend our lunch hours on speaker phone to each other while we catch up with how work is going.
I work more traditional hours, so often a friend or two will be hanging out with him at the house whilst I’m at work but then we all hang out when I’m finished work.
The only reason we spend so much time together is because we’re eachother’s best friend (which makes for a very easy marriage!).
Before we were married and lived together, sometimes we wouldn’t see each other for 2 weeks purely due to us working and studying so much. I definitely couldn’t go back to that, waaaay too co-dependent now lol!
Post # 9
Alright! Thanks everyone for your stories, that was very helpful! I feel like I might have exaggerated a little bit because once in a while we will go see family or friends separately (it just varies in frequency, sometimes once a week sometimes every couple of weeks) and we have mutual friends we see together. We also visit my mom and brother once a week for a show and family games night because they love him so much lol. I also take some time for myself to watch a bit of trash tv if he goes out to work and I’m home or if he’s visiting his cousin, and if any of my friends come to town I’ll see them alone, a lot of them live very far away now.
We just love spending time together and honestly would pick each others company over anyone else and I love hearing about so many similar stories about your loves 🙂
Post # 10
Me and my fiancé work opposite shifts for childcare purposes so I get 3 afternoons/evenings a week with him and 2 mornings, it’s hard but we manage
hes at work when I get up, we have 10 minute change over then he’s in bed when I get home
if we didn’t have to work we would spend most of our time together
Post # 11
I’m not fully sure how to answer this. We spend our evenings together when nothing is going on. He goes to martial arts 4 days a week after work, then comes home. I normally go home after work and cook, and chill on my own.
Weekends are spent together the other has something they need to do the other wouldn’t enjoy.
It just depends, but we spend most of our off time together.
Post # 12
My SO and I share “quality time” as one of our love languages. We do most things together. He joined me in some local political things I do, but hes also found his own piece of it. We go to Trivia with my friends but they like him just as much now so sometimes when I cant go – he goes still. Sometimes he does a night out with his cousins and brother, I’m always welcome but will usually fall back and let that be a guys thing. We do Trivia every Monday and date night every Thursday so those are our “designated” together nights but we live together so basically every night is together.
So on an average week we spend every night together but we do probably have a couple nights a month where we do our own thing. Its not that we cant be apart more, we just really like being together.
Post # 13
I’m not really sure how to answer this. We’re both typically home during the week by 8 or 9, and he’ll watch sports in the living room and I’ll watch foot network or cartoons in the room by myself while I’m winding down. We watch AHS on Wednesday nights together (or other shows on other days). We spend time together, but it’s sometimes while doing separate things, if that makes sense? We enjoy each other’s company, but we don’t always have to be doing a shared activity. I also run errands every Saturday by myself.
So I guess to answer your question, we spend 4 nights a week or so together, but if you only count “spending time together” as being totally up under each other, we probably only do that once or twice a week.
this is a tough question! Lol
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA
I chose the first option, even though it’s not entirely accurate, but mostly. We spend the vast majority of our time together, but there are the random nights when I’ll go hang out with friends by myself if she’s not up for it, or she’ll go grab drinks with coworker friends after work and I don’t feel up to joining them. That maybe happens once or twice every month or so, though, not weekly. We enjoy spending our time together very much, but neither of us have an issue with the other going out with friends on their own, either.
Post # 15
Literally spend every minute he is NOT working together.
He works at the same time I do at 40 hours a week… and then he works extra hours at random for side jobs. I use his extra working hours each week to have me time or spend with girlfriends.
When he isn’t working we go on dates, have dinner with friends or family… etc. Or I attend his softball games. So I guess that means we are up each other’s butts.