(Closed) How much to give as gift at wedding vs. shower?

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hmmm, I never thought of this before, but I have always viewed the shower as a separate expense.  I give the same amount regardless of whether there is a shower. 

Post # 4
3943 posts
Honey bee

I feel like I have spent $1000’s on my friends weddings and showers, so I know what you mean.

Typically, if Im invited to the shower I get a gift from their registry thats in the $40-$50 range. The only time I spent more than that was when I was in the bridal party. For the wedding I generally give a minimum of $100 for the two of us. If its a very close friend or family member then maybe a little more.

Post # 5
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m jealous that you have a base point; I feel like I’m always flailing when I buy wedding gifts! We try to base what we give on how close we are to a couple, but other factors (like: how embarrassed would I be if mine were the least expensive gift opened at this shower? Who else is attending?) sneak in.

Usually we shoot for $75 as a shower gift and $75 each for the wedding gift–so about $225 total.  We’ve only had close family and close friends get married so far (I also splurged a little extra on my big brother)…I assume for less-close friends we’ll give a little less.

I guess I partly consider the shower gift as part of the total gift, but acknowledge that I’ll be able to spend less without a shower–after all, the shower is a separate party. 

Post # 7
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I always determine what the cost of my gift will be, then I buy two gifts that total that amount. One is given at the shower, one is at the wedding.

I actually posted this question like a year ago, and the response I got was similar – take total cost and divide it however you like, but with keeping the total gift amoun the same.

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