(Closed) How much to give marrying couple?? I need help! :(

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
853 posts
Busy bee

If it were me, I would spend between $100-$200 normally. Although they’re paying for your lodging, so that’s quite a nice offer! On the other hand, you haven’t known her for too too long…..hmmm, tough call! I think I’d probably go around the $200 mark, because of your included accomodations.

Post # 4
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

For a fancy schmancy wedding, Fiance and I usually do about $100/person (so $200 total from the two of us). If it is something from the registry, it will be in this range ($175-225). We don’t go to a ton of weddings a year though, and usually they’re for people we know fairly well or like quite a bit.

Post # 5
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Here is my rule of thumb for this day and age, regardless if you had to drive, fly or swim there, pay for lodging, slept at home, slept outside.  I base it on who that person is to you.

  • Co-worker, outer circle friend, distant relative: $150.00
  • Good friend, close relative:  $200.00
  • Best friend, Sibling:  $300.00

Its all relative to what is common in your area i.e. apparently in Wisconsin giving $25 per person is normal, but you can see the sliding scale I base it on.  

Enjoy your weekend getaway!


Post # 6
1095 posts
Bumble bee

For a couple, I would say at least 200$. Since you are part of part of the bridal party, I assume you’re very close, so I would say maybe even more (especially since she is paying your hotel!)

Post # 7
1013 posts
Bumble bee

SO and i always give $200 as our gift to the couple. More if it is close relatives or best friends.   Usually that will cover the food and drink you consume during the wedding.

Post # 8
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it depends on the person.  Normally we give $250.  Closer friend or family more like $300-$500.  

Post # 9
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I generally follow almost the same as @baletrina:  but a little different

$200 for any couple we know but are not super close with

$250-300 for a dear friend or very close family member

$300+ for my siblings and our BFFS

Post # 10
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Holy cow! Wow we recieved $50-$150 for our gifts! It was very much a sliding scale due to income! In your situation since accommodations ate provided I’d say $$175-250 at least! 

Post # 11
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Min $100 a person. And I would only give that to an acquaintance. It also depends on your finacial state, you dont wont to go beyond your means. Personally because they are paying for you to lodge, which im doing destination wedding and making people pay their own way which is how it is for most desitnation wedding these days, so your saving the money thier. I would atleast give $200 a head in this case.

Post # 12
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@romantical:  I went to a wedding where Fiance and I had to fly in, rent a car, rental lodging.  I gave a framed picture of some mountains that they liked.  Cost me $50.  They loved it and it felt right to me.


With all that you have to pay upfront, I probably would not go over $100.  Where I am from gifts over $100 are not normal, usually the cap.


ETA:  I misread – they are paying for lodging!  OK, then maybe $200-300!


This wedding sounds massively expensive!  Yowza!

Post # 13
3880 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m of italian background….. so money gifts tend to work to the rule of

a minimum of a $100 per person invited. (so a family of 4 =$400)

But if your a couple you usually give $300.

As they have paid for your accomodation….i would do $300 and some small thoughtful gift that you can give them before the wedding…….

1. a set of crystal champagne flutes engraved with their name and wedding date

2. a silver cake set engraved with their name and wedding date.

they can use these on thier wedding day to cut thier cake and for toasts…and will they will always have a special meaning for them in the future.



Post # 16
206 posts
Helper bee

Depends on what you can afford and would like to give. My circle of friends are all pretty low on the income scale, so we don’t really expect huge gifts. My personal rule for all gifts non-wedding is up to $25 for friends, up to $50 for family.

Weddings are special and I try to stay around $50 but could definately go to $100 if it was something really nice. I’ve never gone over $75, but I’ve only attended 3 weddings (once as a BM).

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