Post # 1
So apparently our church is costing us $200, the coordinator $100, and the musicians are each $175 (there are 2) …. and what we pay the Deacon that is atually marrying us is up to us. There are no guidelines, and I’m a little stumped. We have gotten to be very close to this man and his wife, through monthly “check ins”, our marriage prep course, ect ect — we want to be generous but at the same time, not break the bank. He obviously makes a salary from the church so this is just something “extra”. Does anyone have any recommendations on what we should give him??
Post # 3
We were told $500 is the recommendation for our church (even though the priest isn’t part of the parish and it is an old family friend). The general opinion is that $300-$500 seems normal.
Post # 4
Thank you! $500 is actually what I was thinking too, but then my Fiance said $200 — but then again what do men know?? LOL
Post # 5
It depends on a lot of factors. Was there a charge associated with all the counseling, or is that included? Will he be at both the rehersal and the dinner? etc? In my denomination $500 would be way too much so maybe it’s also different by denomination. I would have thought $100-$250 but maybe Catholic preists are more expensive!
Post # 6
We did pay for the marriage prep course ($150 for about 14 hours of classes, but he was not the only person involved in running the course) and yes he will be at our rehearsal. He is invited to the dinner, I’m not sure if he’s coming or not.
He’s been wonderful, and so supportive to us since we first met with him back in July and we’ve come to view him as family. I am going to try to reach out to other couples who are getting married in the church and find out from them what they are thinking about giving. I just wish there was some sort of “the $500 range is acceptable”. Or just give me a number, I don’t even care! lol
Post # 7
I think that any of the choices are acceptable, but it sounds like he is spending a lot of time with you before the wedding so I would go with $300.
Oh, I just saw that you paid for the marriage prep course separately, so maybe you could spend a little less. $250?
Post # 8
I was wondering the same thing. We paid $450 for the church and are having a destination wedding. I’ve been told that anything you something to the priest, he has to give it to the church. Other websites have suggested giving gift cards. I’m planning on giving $100.