(Closed) How much to spend?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I always give a little more when I am in the wedding party even though I had other expenses, these are my closer friends so if you normally give a couple $200 then I’d do $250.

Post # 4
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Opinions will vary widely on this. When Fiance or I are in a wedding party we spend more than usual on our gift because we are closer to the couple. Other people will say that you are already spending $ to be in the wedding so you can give less.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

frankly it depends what you can afford. the couple knows you’re spending a lot of money to be in the party (especially if both of you are in the party), so they wouldn’t be offended if you buy them a less expensive gift. i spend more for people i’m closer to, but it all really depends on your finances.

Post # 6
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We tend to give more if we are in the wedding, since this means that it is one of our best friends.  I do not expect my wedding party to give us extravagant gifts, but I personally would want to give my best friend a nicer gift than someone I don’t know very well.

Post # 7
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

I also think it really depends on the situation.

We are on a really tight budget, so ours will be $20 per person…I think I am going to get them jewelry to wear the day of the wedding from Etsy.

I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding two years ago and she gave us inexpensive jewelry to wear the day of the wedding for a gift, but her mother had also bought our dresses, so we didn’t expect anything at all!!

Post # 8
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

For me, it’s sort of a sliding scale on how much I’ve had to spend on the wedding for being in the Wedding Party (I know, I know it’s an honor and blah blah blah. Still expensive). If the amount I’m spending on BM accouterments is high, then the gift cost goes down. It also goes down if I’ve already purchased things like a shower gift and contributed to the bachelorette party.

Yes, it matters some that I’m close to the couple if I’m in the Wedding Party, but there is a financial reality at play. I hate to be so cut-and-dry, but after paying for some combination (or all!) of the following: a dress, shoes, alterations, hair, makeup, mani-pedi, engagement party gift, shower gift and shower party contribution, bachelor party contribution, and travel, I’ve shelled out close to $1K for some weddings. That’s ok–it’s for a good friend and I’m happy to do it, but I just don’t have it in my bank account to do more. 

Ultimately, give what you can afford and what you feel comfortable giving. I imagine that if you are close enough to the couple, they’re not going to turn their noses up at you if you don’t go for a big-ticket item. 

Post # 10
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

most our wedding party spent less on gifts than other friends, i assume because of costs of being in the wedding, and i totally, totally understood that! especially if you’re giving a shower gift as well, or paying a lot of other costs (travel, shoes, make-up, etc)…

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