(Closed) How much to spend on gift for this wedding??

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What should we do?

    Don't give a gift

    Give a small gift ($50)

    Give a normal gift ($100-150)

    Try to get other couple to agree not to do gifts for each other's weddings

  • Post # 3
    404 posts
    Helper bee

    A $50 gift and a nice card would probably be fine.

    Post # 4
    1915 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I would give $100 and a card.

    Post # 5
    1632 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @cestvrai:  are they incurring significant travel expenses to come to your wedding?

    I would give $100. We typically gift $1-150. When our siblings get married I am sure we will gift alot more. But for right now that’s what we do.

    Post # 6
    935 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @cestvrai:  I had a few cousins spend about the same to come to our wedding and they didn’t give us a gift and I completely understand.   They spent a ton of money to celebrate with us….do they really need to give us a gift to prove to us that they care and wish us well?  HELL NO.

    You do NOT have to get them a gift – just give a nice card.  Anyone worth a damn will understand and not need a cash gift from you.

    Post # 7
    3080 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @cestvrai:  I would spend normally what you would give. Whenever I’m in the bridal party, though, I do tend to give more

    Post # 8
    9795 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Just give what you can afford and think is reasonable.  Sometimes gifts aren’t even expected from bridal party members…I didn’t expect mine to get me gifts in addition to being in my wedding.  I don’t see anything wrong with just giving them a nice card, but it depends on what’s normal for your circle I guess.

    Post # 9
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @cestvrai:  I would give no gift or a small but thoughtful gift, like a cookbook by a chef they like. 

    ETA: I would always give a nice card.


    Post # 10
    1597 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    When I go to someone’s wedding, the amount I spend on a gift has NOTHING to do with how much the couple spent on their wedding or how much money they make. I base my gifts off of what I can afford and how well I know the couple.

    If I were in your shoes, I would probably give them a card and $50 (or a $50 gift card).

    Just give what you are comfortable with and please don’t worry about what anyone (the couple included) thinks. If this couple is friends with you, they won’t care whether you give them $5 or $500.


    Post # 11
    3716 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    @cestvrai:  When you agree to be in a wedding, you agree to go and know there are expenses. You knew them going in. You should give a normal gift.


    We had a pretty reasonable wedding (when we got engaged, none of our bridal party would have had to spend the night or drive for the wedding. 2/3 moved away during planning) and only got gifts from half of our bridal party. It hurt. We knew they spend money to be in the wedding, but where was the card and gift? Gifts are not supposed to be expected and it honestly did not matter what they gave us, but it is hard to write out all of these thank you notes and not send them to your bridal party (we had already written thank you for being in the wedding notes to give at the rehearsal). It isn’t that we wanted a thing, but it was more of a “this is so strange”. We would never expect that they wouldn’t give us a gift– it would be like showing up to your childhood best friend’s 10th birthday party without a gift. It is strange socially. If you can’t afford a normal gift, then a smaller gift will work. Even a card. 

    Post # 12
    127 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I had this exact same thing happen during my wedding. I was in my friends wedding party in September and had to fly across the country, then she was in my wedding party in October and flew to me. We decided that early on we werent going to get each other gifts. We just phrased it something like this. “So dont bother getting us anything because we are just going to give you back whatever you got us.” And both agreed it was silly to just get each other a gift to pass it back. I know her wedding is first but I’d have no problem suggesting it. It all adds up. Since your groom is in the wedding party is it safe to say he is closer? Tell him to run it past his friend. I’m sure that they wont care at all.


    Post # 13
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I would give a gift, probably around $100. 

    Post # 14
    1674 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

    Get them something off their registry around the $50 range.  That way they will remember you got them a gift and not think wow they were cheap and only gave us $50 cash.  They understand that you are traveling to be at their wedding and probably understand that you don’t have the money to afford to travel, you being there is part of their gift! 

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