Post # 1
I’m having some trouble figuring out how much I should be spending on my bridesmaids gifts. We don’t have a lot of money left in our budget for very expensive gifts, but I want my bridesmaids to know that I appreciate them.
I have 2 co-maids of honor and 3 other bridesmaids and they are each paying for their dresses ($110-$130), alterations ($50), shoes ($50), and travel and hotel expenses since its an out of town wedding (they have to drive 5-7 hours and stay at a hotel 2 nights).
I was thinking of buying them each a jewelry set to wear to the wedding (approx $30), and pay for either their hairstyling or mani/pedi (approx $50). Do I need to add something else that’s not related to the wedding? I feel like $80 is already quite a bit for me, but considering how much they’re spending maybe it’s not enough. Could I just add something else to the maid of honors’ gifts, or will that seem rude when they all open their presents together? My maids of honor are my sisters and they threw me a great bachelorette party, so I feel like I should spend a bit more on them.
Also how much should we spend on other attendant’s gifts. We have 2 junior bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, 5 groomsmen, 2 junior groomsmen and a ring bearer. Would $30 each be appropriate for the children’s gifts? Should my fiance spend the same amount on his groomsmen that I did on my bridesmaids? I feel like he could get away with spending a bit less (maybe $50-$70), since his groomsmen only had to pay for their tux rental and they dont have as far to come for the wedding (1-4 hour drive).
What do you girls think?
Post # 3
hi — I think the jewelery and hair is very nice. They will appreciate that. When in doubt, always spend more 🙂
Post # 4
Your gift idea sounds great!
In general, To a certain extent, I think the cost of your wedding party gifts should be proportional to the cost of your wedding. If you’re having a budget wedding, then by all means get your wedding party something really cute and creative, but not expensive. However, if you’re having a fancy wedding that obviously cost a fair amount, then you kind of owe it to your wedding party members to get them gifts that are more on the expensive side. Otherwise you run the risk of looking kind of cheap and maybe selfish. (That wasn’t meant in a harsh way… I just think that a bridesmaid will know if you had a $50,000 wedding, and only sprung for a $25 gift for her…)
Post # 5
…and just to make it clear, I think your gifts sound very nice. I was speaking more generally in my previous post 🙂
Post # 6
I am having the same issue. I really want to pay for everyone’s makeup and jewelry but I am on such a tight budget and my bonuses at work have simply dissappeared. 1 of my bridesmaids is flying with me to the wedding and she is paying for her son too! The others really can’t afford to get their dresses I am starting to realize. The wedding is 94 days away and two of them haven’t yet gotten them. I want to treat them with something special but my funds are lacking. I know I have to figure something out soon but what?
Post # 7
Personally – I’m of the opinion that gifts to your wedding party should be unrelated to the wedding. Otherwise they are more a gift to you than to your bridesmaids (you get the look of identical jewelery you want, you get the look of fancy hairdos that you want, etc). It is certainly generous of a bride to pay for these things for their girls but IMO, they aren’t really a gift to the bridesmaids.
That said, there is no “standard” amount that should be spent on these gifts but I do agree with a PP that the budget for these things is kind of dictated by the budget of the wedding. I big fancy wedding should have a larger budget for gifts while a small budget-friendly wedding would be expected to have a much smaller gift budget.
Post # 8
I’m kind of with FutureKMM. Try to think of spending that money on something that’s really just for them. With $80, you could get them a gift card to their favorite restaurant, or a gift certificate for a massage that they could use for themseleves after the wedding, on their own time.
I think it’s cute when brides buy their BMs jewelry for the day-of, but honestly it’s not usually something they’ll wear again if it isn’t their own style.
To answer your question, though, we spent about $80 on each wedding party person as well. It really just depends on your budget, and the most important thing is that you put thought into the gift so they know you really appreciate everything they’ve done.
Post # 9
I agree with those who say you should get them something unrelated to the wedding. And I don’t think the $$ matters as much as the thought you put into it really. I also don’t think that all the gifts have to be the same (in type or cost). Get what is best for each person.
Post # 10
I think I would rather receive a mani/pedi than a hairstyle because it is fun, relaxing and lasts after the wedding. Also, it is something fun to go and do with your girls before the wedding. Now that I have planned a wedding on a tight budget I would be so appreciative of what you suggested because I know how hard it is to scrap the money out!
Post # 11
I don’t have a comment on exactly how much you should be spending, but I would agree with PPs that jewelry and really anything for the day of the wedding is more for you. I can’t tell you the number of weddings I’ve been in where the jewelry for the day of the wedding has been the main gift, and I’ve never worn the jewelry again. If it were me, I would consider letting them wear their own jewelry and spending the money on something else for them. Or getting them different pieces of jewelry depending on their style and leave it up to them as to whether they wear it on the wedding day. And I feel basically the same about the mani/pedi and hair style.
But really, I don’t think it’s about cost so much as the thought. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man I would have much preferred a framed picture of us and a sweet card about how much it means to the bride to have me there than a piece of jewelry I’ll never wear again.