(Closed) How much would SO have to make for you to consider staying at home?

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: How much would your SO have to make for you to stay-st-home?
    50k-70k : (62 votes)
    12 %
    70k-90k : (75 votes)
    15 %
    90k-100k : (68 votes)
    13 %
    100k-120k : (87 votes)
    17 %
    120k-150k : (66 votes)
    13 %
    150k plus : (155 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 62
    472 posts
    Helper bee

    @oneofthesethings:  Swear I was thinking the same thing! I remember a Mad Men episode where a single mom moved into the neighborhood and she had to work for a living. All of the women were judging her and pitying her for having to work. 



    Post # 63
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    If we ever got to the point where I could quit my job, I would start my own etsy shop or even a store in town.  I’d love to do something like that, but I’m pretty dependent on my current steady income to take that kind of a risk.  

    We have talked about me being a Stay-At-Home Mom once we have kids just because day care is so expensive.  We are going to figure out if it’s even worth it for me to work once we pay for day care, gas to get there, gas to get to work (My job is outside of town) etc.  I’d love to be able to raise my kids and work from home doing something I love. 


    Post # 64
    1261 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    As for me, probably $90K would be the minimum. An individual can live a decent, albeit modest lifestyle, on $40K (depending on the part of the country), so a little over double that would be fine with me. I’m not an extravagant person by any means, and when I do get luxuries, I figure out ways to get them fairly cheaply. But that said, I’d definitely prefer it to be a higher for more elbow room.

    Post # 66
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I don’t think any amount would make me stay at home. Even if I won the lottery I would still at least do volunteer work. For me personally achievements in my work life satisfy me and are a big motivator for me, plus I think staying home all the time I  would be bored.

    Post # 67
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    100k+ and debt free. And even then I’d have to work part time or something cus i’d lose my mind. I’m not worried about it though because I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. My Darling Husband would like to be a stay at home dad however or own his own business so he could make his own hours. Even though i don’t right now, my field has the possibility of earning a much higher salary then DH’s.

    So right now we’re just hoping that one day Darling Husband will no longer NEED to work full time and he can have the freedom to work in the field he really likes even if it doesn’t pay well. Thats probably a good 10 years off tho.

    Post # 68
    3725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    $300K would be my target number.

    Post # 69
    2455 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    He would have to make $200,000 at LEAST for me to consider being a Stay-At-Home Wife.

    But I love my career, so I don’t think I could ever give it up completely.  I would not be happy being stuck with all of the housework either.

    In a practical aspect, he won’t ever make that much, or at least not exceed my paycheck.  When we have kids, it won’t be a debate on if I’ll be a SAHM- I won’t be.  If we really feel strongly about a parent staying home at that point, he can do it.


    I’m actually more interested in how much Bees would have to make before their husband could be a SAH Husband…  I wonder if that would change anyone’s opinion.

    Post # 70
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @MrsR2014:  i don’t think the amount would matter. The household bills and debt, assets, and the situtation surrounding staying home. 

    Post # 71
    1521 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Asia:  uncalled for as the OP requested this isn’t a commentary about opinions on the subject, dnt judge others for what they choose their life to b

    Post # 72
    472 posts
    Helper bee

    @oneofthesethings:  Yes! I had to look her name up because I couldn’t remember it: Helen Bishop. 

    Post # 73
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    There is no amount that would even make me consider staying at home.


     I have all the respect in the world for SAHM’s, my sister is one and it is HARD, but I could never do it nor could I be a Stay-At-Home Wife. I like taking care of myself and I love my career.

    Post # 74
    2556 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    With kids?  At least $150k to live somewhat comfortably.  I think something in the $200k range would be more sufficient to live the way we do now (vacation 2x a year.. weekend trips whenever.. out to eat 2-3x a week, etc.).

    Post # 75
    1462 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @MrsR2014: At least 300k. We live in a high cost of living area. Also I’d only stay at home if we had 1 or more kids and my law school loans have been paid off by then. By stay at home, ideally I would still be working part-time on non-profit cases and doing fiction writing as well as taking care of the kids.

    Post # 76
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We plan on having kids so it would have to be between 200-250k to even consider it.  I’ve been working since I was 15 and although he’s given me the option to SAH after we are married and have kids, I don’t think it’s fiscally smart for us with what’s happening in the economy. 

    When I factor in school tuition if we want to go private, college tuition, monthly retirement requirements, health care expenses, etc. I don’t want him to be a work horse while all I do is keep house and volunteer.  That would bore me to absolute tears.  I need more intellectual stimulation and challenges.  I like to feel a part of the work force that gets up and goes to a job. 

    The repetitive nature of cooking, laundry, housekeeping and volunteering is just not fulfilling enough for me.  I’m an analyst and project manager.  Daytime tv can become mind numbing.  We have friends whose wives SAH because they are not American citizens and trying to get work visas for them was not urgent because their husbands make enough money to support the family.  And a friend of mine has a husband that just wanted her to SAH so she did.  They appear completely disconnected from much of what’s going on beyond their kids’ lives.  I don’t want to be like that.  I want to keep my own identity and nurture it for myself.  Because one day kids grow up, leave and have lives of their own and you can begin to feel lonely as the husband keeps working.  Then some SAHMs begin to feel lost and try to recapture careers that they find very hard to restart since their skills are rusty.

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