(Closed) How much would SO have to make for you to consider staying at home?

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: How much would your SO have to make for you to stay-st-home?
    50k-70k : (62 votes)
    12 %
    70k-90k : (75 votes)
    15 %
    90k-100k : (68 votes)
    13 %
    100k-120k : (87 votes)
    17 %
    120k-150k : (66 votes)
    13 %
    150k plus : (155 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 77
    3378 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @BrandNewBride:  Ha, I was just telling Darling Husband how surprised I am by the high-range responses.  Luckily, he agrees with me on the ranges that would work for us.  

    I’m sure living in the Midwest affects this, though – the area you live (and the associated cost of living) should clearly have an impact on what it takes to live comfortably.  I still maintain my 100-150 range, though, if we move to Seattle like we’re planning.

    I guess I just see what my family had growing up – my parents together made less than 100k, they took turns staying home with me before I was school-aged (mom was a nurse, dad a truck driver), and we live comfortably.  We weren’t rich by any standards, but we weren’t scraping by either.

    Post # 78
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would never want to be a Stay-At-Home Mom (he might be happy as a SAHD! I’m a career girl though and not really the mothering type) but when he’s making above 200k and we have some savings, I would like to start my own business(es) instead of sticking with the relatively-safer jobs I’m looking at now.

    Our ultimate dream is that we can start businesses while one partner (or both if needed) work and that they will be successful enough that BOTH partners can work full-time on our own business together!

    My mom works for herself and my dad has a corporate job, and that would be fine with me too although I don’t know if Fiance would be happier with that or self-employment. FI’s parents work together on their own successful business and that is my dream!!

    Either way I don’t want to have kids until I’m self-employed, because I don’t know how I would balance my kids’ needs with having a boss, aka if my kids needed something having to ask my boss’s permission to leave. Since my mom was self-employed she managed her own schedule and it was her chance (and responsibility) to manage her professional and personal hours how she saw fit.

    Post # 79
    1337 posts
    Bumble bee

    @MrsR2014:  I will be staying home if we have children. My SO can make 80-100k per year and that is PLENTY. I say can because he retired 10 years ago at 29. He is very saavy with money. I already own an nice inexpensive home.

    Post # 80
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @Asia:  You need an additional poll option of “there is no amount that would make me want to be a stay at home wife” Cause that’s what I’d pick. 🙂


    My Darling Husband makes the upper end of your poll and yet for now I don’t think being a full time Stay-At-Home Mom is for me, even my Darling Husband agrees I would go crazy. I need to do, to be active with adults, to be stressed by tasks. I may change my mind but for now that is how I feel.


    Post # 81
    747 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MrsR2014:  I think it depends on living expenses.  Our plan is for me to stay home and once that happens our full budget will be covered (including recreational spending/retirement savings all house/car costs etc.) and we’ll have an extra 1200 a month available to  save, that’s present day, without including FIs future raises/yrly bonus. 

    Post # 82
    2084 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Well over $100,000 but even so I would probably go nuts just being home all day. 

    Post # 83
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    AT LEAST $200,000. But honestly I would never stay home (unless I was wealthy lol). I was raised to be extremely independent and I could never accept needing someone to provide/take care of me. I don’t have a problem with other people doing it, it just wouldn’t work for me. Especially in this economy – where one person could easily lose their job, I think its important that both of us work. Both of my parents would be extremely disappointed if I ever decided not to work – I’d never hear the end of it!

    Honestly if one us of were to stay home to take care of kids it would be my Fiance. I don’t think he’d be thrilled with the idea, but me staying home would not even be an option.

    Post # 84
    2278 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Asia:  I agree 🙂 I couldn’t not work/volunteer/do something. I’d be bored to tears.

    Post # 85
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Poll doesn’t go high enough for me…. at least 200K. 

    Post # 86
    7310 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    At least $300k, because if I was not working I’d be decorating the house and blowing a crapton of money. LOL

    Post # 87
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    not a penny less than 250K but realistically probably 350K – we live in an expensive area and enjoy a somewhat expensive lifestyle (dinners out, vacations etc) he would have to be able to afford all that plus more for me to consider it…. its more likely that he will actually become a SAHH(D) than me though since I am a heck of a lot closer to actually making those numbers and we have alreay lived 2 yrs on my salery alone in the past (bc of layoffs/job market issues)

    Post # 88
    906 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My answer is dependent on WHERE we live and my own personality. I wouldn’t stay home for less than $175k. As it stands, two people have to scrimp and save to live on $100K. Not to mention that a starter home in my current neighborhood goes for a cool 1/2 million. It’s obviously extremely expensive here, and I don’t want to live on the cheap just to stay home. That number is also so high because I like to work and would need incentive to stay home.

    Post # 89
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Well, I voted 70-90K, just because that’s where our combined income currently falls and we are comfortable. However, I wouldn’t be a stay-at-home wife, I’d only consider being a stay-at-home mom one day, so it would need to be more than that to include the additional cost of children and their necessities and savings.

    This is never going to be my reality, as I’m the “breadwinner” (I will be over the course of our lifetime, though right now we make very similar salaries) and I have a much higher salary potential than he does, especially once I finish my degrees; I haven’t decided if I’ll just stop at my Ed.S. or get my Ed.D.

    Post # 90
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    We’re on the fence about having kids, but if he got a SUBSTANTIAL raise I’d CONSIDER staying home just for a few years if we did decide to squeeze out a kid of two. I suppose that perhaps a bigger income would also have some impact on our decision to have kids or not as well. We make a very comfortable living as is, but  more money helps!lol

    If we won the lottery, however, and life didn’t come down to having to “earn a living” and instead was focused on doing what I love, then I’d open an animal sancuary of some kind and just spend my days wandering around and taking care of the llama, dogs, elephants, monkeys  or whatever all day. Doing this for a living does not really pay the bills, unless I want ANOTHER 8 years of school so…

    Post # 91
    2440 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @skippydarling:  I guess I could be flagged, but I don’t see how it would be meritted.

    @arabbel:  That’s not a stay at home wife to me. She’s certainly living a much more traditional lifestyle, but that’s just the gist of an agricultural lifestyle. Just because she doesn’t get a salary, that doesn’t mean she’s not working (she’s taking care of lifestock and producing goods)

    @babypearls:  I posted my comment before she added her edit. I still don’t see anything wrong with it. Like I said, there are certain circumstances in which it is NOT laziness. But for me, that would be the only reason.

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