In truth I have always have had a decent job and have never been cheap with my own money be it to spend on my BF / SO / Fiancé / Husband or anyone else that I LOVE and care for.
In my First Marriage (circa 1980) when the price of gold was thru the roof, and interest rates on loans around 20% and on Credit over 35%, I still went out and spent over $ 500 on the WBand for my Ex-H
When we were married, I found a way to save up an always get him great gifts…
Be it a Tv Consule for our first Anniversary = $ 1000, or a Nikon Camera or Lenses in the subsequent years (again always more than $ 1000) be it for Christmas or his Birthday
When I met Mr TTR
I was broke… dead broke.
Lets just say my lifestyle (and my expectations) had come down a peg or two
So I was overwhelmed by this man’s generosity towards me…
Still when it came to an ERing, half-teasing I once told him that I expected him to spend more on my ring than he did on some “run of the mill” household expense… at the time I compared my ring purchase to a fridge (as he needed a new fridge)… I told him that my ERing better cost more than a fridge.
Having been around the block a few times… I am a big believer that a ERing should be symbolic in several ways… there should most definitely be a smidgen of “sacrifice” involved for it to click-in with a man that this is a SIGNIFICANT commitment that he is undertaking / making.
Call me a skeptical… afterall I’ve been around for quite awhile on this good green earth… and that has let me see a lot of life… good & bad.
BUT I wasn’t going to fall for a man that was all talk an no action.
Once Mr TTR made that commitment to me… things changed on my end. I was far more likely to open up my own purse strings and share with him (prior to marriage we each had our own money… after everything is joint / shared)
On our Wedding Day I gave him as a Wedding present of a Watch… the most expensive gift I’ve gotten him todate
Not anywhere near the value of my ERing (more in line with the value of my WBand… and in fact it was a “stand in” for a WBand, as he had no intent on wearing one)
Since we’ve been married, we’ve adopted the belief that we came to this marriage ALL IN… we committed all of ourselves, and all that we had… skills, talents, money to this Marriage and that is how we live our lives… altho in truth we haven’t spent very much money on each other in the last year outside of our Wedding & Honeymoon.