(Closed) How much would you be willing to spend on a single item for your boyfriend?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 77
Member
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The most I have spent on a single item: $500. (New PS4 bundle w/international shipping)

Most I would spend: Probably around $1000ish if I was shopping alone, if there was something specific that he really wanted for more, and I could afford it, sure. But given our life now and my current financial situation, I can’t imagine paying more than that and even that would have to be something really really amazing or special that would see use/outer-wear every day for the foreseeable future, like an engagement ring does. 

No double standard here though, that’s about what he spent on my ring! (1k for the ring itself, plus a little more, since the duties/taxes/etc. to import expensive jewelry were pretty intense, according to him.)

I didn’t especially *want* him to sacrifice, especially since we’re not wealthy and our budget for “wants” is quite small to start with. The pride for me comes not in how expensive it was, but in it being a custom, one-of-a-kind thing that was well thought out and executed just for me. Perfect for me just happened to not be terribly expensive (for an e-ring)

Post # 78
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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@Aquaria:  Are you asking if we would do something equivalent to what our SOs did when purchasing an e-ring? Because my Fiance spend less than 1 months salary, and he spent money that he could comfortably spend right on the spot (aka he didn’t save for months, he just used money that he had). Would I do something equivalent to that for an item equivalent to an engagement ring (aka something he would wear/use every day for the rest of his life)? Of course I would.

If you are asking if I would spend several months salary and thousands more than I can afford on an item that he wouldn’t use very often–then no, I wouldn’t. But that isn’t what he did for me, so it wouldn’t be equal.

When we bought our wedding bands, he bought mine and I bought his. His happened to be far less expensive because he wanted something simple, but I would have glady spent far more on his ring if he wanted something fancier.

ETA: if you’re trying to find out if we would do something equivalent to the man buying an e-ring, it shouldn’t matter if our responses include “if I had the money,” because often a man has to save up for the ring anyway. How is it different if we say we would need to save up for whatever the item is? Also, there is a difference between buying an e-ring or wedding ring (or even a nice watch) and just buying the latest toy out there that will only last a few years.

 

Post # 79
Member
434 posts
Helper bee

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@Aquaria:  I’m not going to go super out of my way to take on way more shifts or do without for my own needs to get him something he wants. If he wants it that bad, he can also work for it. But I don’t see buying an engagement ring as just buying something that the woman wants, like a new pair of designer shoes or a handbag would be. It’s a symbol of commitment that the woman will most likely cherish for the rest of their relationship.

That being said, there is NO WAY SO is spending more than 4k on a ring. And that’s if we both end up getting good jobs and are very comfortable financially. We are thinking more around the 1.5-2.5k range if not lower. I don’t like people spending money on me, especially that much, but I do want something that is sparkly and durable that will last. I absolutely do not expect him to save every last penny and have to take on a lot of extra work to pay for my ring. I would chip in before that happened! I don’t want it to be something he stresses out about financially.

I have ideas in my head for the future that entail me saving and scrimping to pay for a surprise trip(s) for us as a present, and I’m sure those will be more than my ring will cost. If I actually had the money, and saving would not leave me in a bind financially, I would buy him whatever he wanted. There is a LOT of stuff I could buy that I have thought about buying for him, but on my current budget it’s just not possible. There is no double standard about this in our relationship because I’m not putting expectations on him, and I would love to spoil him if I could. I honestly spend way more money on him than I do on myself outside of food-related costs, and I am also the one who is good at sentimental gifts that have their own intrinsic value in our relationship.

Bottom line: His birthday is coming up in a few months. My current idea has me spending about $150. I would spend up to $300 if something amazing came up. He went all out on my Christmas present, and I want to go all out for his birthday. But I am also only working part-time, 10-15 hours a week, and I have something going on over the summer that I’m trying to save a few more thousand for in the next few months. 

Post # 80
Member
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I see the double standard, but then again I think men often come out on top (in general in society as a whole) so I’m not too bothered by it lol. I like being bought expensive sparkly things and he likes buying them for me 🙂

Men don’t have to give birth……. etc. haha.

No I would not spend $10K+ of my own money for something only he could use.

a) I don’t make as much as him

b) We budget together and he’d never allow it

We both agreed a nice engagement ring was a priority, and he’d rather spend $$ on him in the form of a vacation (we take plenty of those!).

The most I’ve ever spent on him would probably be for Xmas and $500ish in total for gifts a couple years ago.

Post # 81
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Interesting topic.

In truth I have always have had a decent job and have never been cheap with my own money be it to spend on my BF / SO / Fiancé / Husband or anyone else that I LOVE and care for.

In my First Marriage (circa 1980) when the price of gold was thru the roof, and interest rates on loans around 20% and on Credit over 35%, I still went out and spent over $ 500 on the WBand for my Ex-H

When we were married, I found a way to save up an always get him great gifts…

Be it a Tv Consule for our first Anniversary = $ 1000, or a Nikon Camera or Lenses in the subsequent years (again always more than $ 1000) be it for Christmas or his Birthday

When I met Mr TTR

I was broke… dead broke.

Lets just say my lifestyle (and my expectations) had come down a peg or two

So I was overwhelmed by this man’s generosity towards me…

Still when it came to an ERing, half-teasing I once told him that I expected him to spend more on my ring than he did on some “run of the mill” household expense… at the time I compared my ring purchase to a fridge (as he needed a new fridge)… I told him that my ERing better cost more than a fridge.

Having been around the block a few times… I am a big believer that a ERing should be symbolic in several ways… there should most definitely be a smidgen of “sacrifice” involved for it to click-in with a man that this is a SIGNIFICANT commitment that he is undertaking / making.

Call me a skeptical… afterall I’ve been around for quite awhile on this good green earth… and that has let me see a lot of life… good & bad.

BUT I wasn’t going to fall for a man that was all talk an no action.

Once Mr TTR made that commitment to me… things changed on my end.  I was far more likely to open up my own purse strings and share with him (prior to marriage we each had our own money… after everything is joint / shared)

On our Wedding Day I gave him as a Wedding present of a Watch… the most expensive gift I’ve gotten him todate

Not anywhere near the value of my ERing (more in line with the value of my WBand… and in fact it was a “stand in” for a WBand, as he had no intent on wearing one)

Since we’ve been married, we’ve adopted the belief that we came to this marriage ALL IN… we committed all of ourselves, and all that we had… skills, talents, money to this Marriage and that is how we live our lives… altho in truth we haven’t spent very much money on each other in the last year outside of our Wedding & Honeymoon.

 

Post # 82
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Well he just bought himself a motorcycle that cost more than my e-ring, so although I don’t yet make enough to buy him a super nice gift, I’m certainly not going to demand that he spend more on a ring than he does on fun/hobby stuff for himself!

Post # 83
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

I’ve heard that 6% salary is a good number. My SO asked close friends what they spent to get a general ballpark figure.

Post # 84
Member
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’d get him the best. if he were the girl and I the guy, his ring would definitely be over 10k. There really is no limit I’d spend on him. If he loved it, he’d have it. 

Post # 85
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Aquaria:  My ring was free (heirloom) and the one I was looking at before I knew about it was $1000. I haven’t spent that much on a single item for him, but the cost of my proposal to him was a little over that, I believe. The most expensive single item would be his engagement ring that was about $400 (he only has half of it, so we’ll say $200, still the most expensive…maybe a paint kit that was around that much competes as well).

Granted, I’m also a horrible saver. Not that I spend all the time, generally I just see something I want for someone and if I can afford it without going broke, I’ll get it. So if I happened to have thousands of dollars saved up and I found this super awesome thing that he’d love that just so happens to cost a grand or so, I’d have no problem spending that much on him. Basically, I could never save up $10,000 for something, but if I had enough in the bank to spend $10,000 comfortably, I’d totally do it. He’d be excited, but also pissed that I spent so much (he’s the frugal one in the relationship).

Post # 86
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

$500.00.

3 months into our relationship I bought him a $200 freezer chest to keep all his fish and crab in that he caught that summer. Then I tried to buy him a new laptop and he was actually PO’d about that. He makes about 3 times as much money as I do right now. 

I wanted a $500 engagement ring, but he absolutely would not let me pick one of those ones out. He wanted to spend at least $1,500 on a ‘bigger, nicer one’. I told him it would make me sick if he spent more than a thousand dollars of his hard earned money on a piece of carbon. Sparkly pretty carbon yes, but still. Anyway I picked out one that was on sale for $1000.00 and we were both happy. 

Post # 87
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@Aquaria:  Regardless of the ring, for b-days, Christmas, etc… I usually spend 50% of what he spends on me. The reason being that he makes more money than me and that he doesn’t want anything unusually expensive. This Christmas was even less. I spent $70 on him and he spent $237 on me.

On a side note, though I would gladly have accepted a $10,000 e-ring, I didn’t get one and that’s ok. He was comfortable with $700 or less. He technically could have afforded more, but he wasn’t comfortable with more. The ring I chose cost $539 and I am perfectly happy with that. It is still the most money he has ever paid for a gift for anyone, ever.

Post # 88
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

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@Aquaria:  re: your update… no, right now I wouldn’t spend months of money on anything but the wedding, and it’s NOT easy. Fiance really really wants a new fancy Samsung phone. I would love to get it for him– even put it on a credit card– but I just can’t buy things like that until the wedding is paid for. THEN I’ll be willing to scrimp to give him presents. 

Post # 89
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

I’ve bought my boyfriend (now FI) a nice watch (300+), a new laptop, and a new gun (~500).  Ask for different holidays. It is less about the price and more of things he needed (laptop) or wanted. We spoil each other though. We talked and I didn’t want him spending more than 2k on a ring since we are still in school and I don’t like giant rings anyways. I would rather him spend a little less and get me a new bow or another toy 🙂

Post # 91
Member
13393 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I don’t  see the ering as mine only, although I am aware that technically and  legally that is not true.   The ring is and was a symbol for both of us.

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