Post # 17
I asked because IF you were already doing photos with this uncle’s family it will save you time by just stepping out of frame for 5 seconds and your photographer snaps the pictures. If you had to separately set the family up at a location with your shooter that might take 15minutes or so.
And I also wonder if other family members might then think it was OK for them to ask for pictures with the shooter as well?!
We took formal portraits with all extended family at my wedding (as is customary in my tradition) and it took an hour. And the only reason it went that fast (we have a huge family) is because my brother’s and Maid/Matron of Honor were running around gathering everyone and had them lining up.
So if you had to set up separately for them it could take extra time. I think it’s important to consider having someone else besides you coordinating with the shooter for this to happen. You will have way too much to worry about than to find your shooter then his whole family and have them set up somewhere. You also don’t want to waste your shooter’s time.
Post # 18
@KatNYC2011: @bells: I also don’t think it’s a huge deal, and I’ve never really been the type to think this day is all about us. I do think he is hoping to have some posed formal photos taken, and I don’t want to say we can do it and then on the day have awkwardness if we’re running short on time. I have no problem with it, but I want to respond in a non-rude way to say that they can probably do it but we can’t make it a priority if time is limited.
Post # 19
I think its kind of a strange request. But I think your response makes perfect sense if the second shooter has time then okay. However I might contact your photographer to see how they feel about this. They might not be okay with doing a family shoot considering thats not what they are hired for and essentially your uncle is trying to get professional photos without paying the price.
Post # 20
@MM423: In that case I’d just tell him you’d let the photographer know that he’d like this done and make sure that the photographer knows who would be in the photo and if time allows the photos will be taken. But let him know that they may have to be taken at the reception rather than while the other posed photos are taken, so as long as he’s flexible on when they are taken you will do your best to fit it in.
Post # 21
I would tell him to grab the photographer during the regular dancing and to gather his family. I would make it his responsibility and tell him the right time to do it so it doesnt interfere with your events. Tell him to gather the family first, then locate the photographer. You will just give him a heads up.
We had an aunt do this with our photgrapher. She didnt ask permission, which I dont think she needed to do and am OK with, and I love having the formal pic of her and the family. There were two pictures and if she gathered the family first, then the photographer it probably took no more than 3 minutes out of the photographers time.
Post # 22
Can you ask either your mother or father (whichever is his sibling) to tell him no? I think siblings are good at being blunt with eachother without hurting feelings. It may be the easy way out, but you don’t need the stress if it will make you feel guilty to say no. My wedding isn’t til next yr and I’m already outsourcing the conversations I don’t want to have with certain family members.
Post # 23
That’s really bold of your uncle. I say tell him “too bad” – they can easily go to a photo studio to get family photos done, or they can get a referral from you to your current photographer. I wouldn’t try to accomodate them, unless you’re in a situation where you’re super close with this uncle and his family, then I would just casually toss it in at the end of the day when you feel confident that you have all the photos you want!
Post # 24
@KatNYC2011: @lefeymw: Great ideas, I think that’s a good way to handle this diplomatically. Maybe I can mention it to the second photographer, and see if he can gather his family during cocktail hour or the reception for a quick photo.
Post # 25
- Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club
I too find this to be a somewhat odd request.
I like lefeymw‘s response; I feel like the photogs like getting those family moments during the reception anyway, so it wouldn’t be a huge deal for them to grab the photog for a minute (or the 2nd shooter).
You can always just say that the timeframe is really tight for formal shots that day, and if the above doesn’t work, maybe just tell him you can put him in touch with the photog after the wedding, so that they can arrange for portraits separately?
Post # 26
I find this to be a very odd request, but I don’t know your uncle. Our friend is a wedding photographer and has graciously offered to be our photographer for our wedding day. Knowing our photographer on a personal level, I do not think he would be ok with this kind of request. But I could be reading it wrong…I’m interpretting it as your uncle wanting a 20 minute photo shoot with just his family, but if it’s a couple of shots with just your uncle’s family…maaaaaaaaybe that’s okay? But honestly, I think my friend would think this is odd and would not be happy with it since he is hired to take photos of the bride and groom that day…not their extended families. He would probably feel taken advantage of since he does offer family photo shoots as well.
Post # 27
@candy apple: They live across the country, so I can’t just refer them to the photographer. I think he’s saying that they’re all there, they’re all dressed up, and there’s a professional photog present so maybe he could do some formal shots of them.
What threw me a little is that he said “If it’s okay by you, I would make the arrangements as a separate transaction (I assume your photographer may be interested)”…that made me think that he wanted more of a formal portrait session? I think I’ll just say that that’s not necessary and tell them to pull a photographer during some time other than formal photo time because of the time crunch.
Post # 28
I have to agree that you seem so laid back about this request! I think it would have been a bit akward for myself, just because it is another thing you would have to think about on your wedding day (which is already full of details). Plus it could take photos away from the wedding, I’m personally looking forward to having candid photos. I do want family photos as well, but maybe just a few shots as opposed to a whole other session. If you feel comfortable with it and it doesn’t bother you, go for it, I’m sure it will win you some brownie points. Personally though I would turn it down – you only get married once, but family photos really can be taken anytime.
Post # 29
If you’re doing a lot of posed family shots then, hey, throwing in one in of his family unit isn’t a big deal.
But if he wants a portrait session? He needs to make arrangements himself and not do it in the middle of your event. Presuming that they’ll be in town for more than just the 6 hours of the wedding, why not suggest he call your photographer and arrange a session before you wedding package begins or maybe for the next day. I still think it’s a very odd request, myself.
Post # 30
I don’t know, I don’t really find it that strange…at my wedding, we got all kinds of family photos. During the reception, we slipped out and just kind of lined up for photos for the photographer–nobody specifically asked, but it has been awhile since the ENTIRE family has been together, so it was nice to get pics of everyone.
Post # 31
It is your wedding, formal pics should not exclude you and your groom! I would tell a white lie – which I don’t consider as wrong at all because he is putting you in a terribly awkward position here, and it is wrong. I would tell him that many family members have made this request (he doesn’t know FI’s family or all of yours, presumably, so for all he knows this is true), and you’re sorry but there just isn’t going to be time for everyone who wants formal pictures done to have them taken without your photog missing important wedding moments, so you have to say no to the people making this request.
Or you could have your parent who’s brother it is call him and be like wtf, no. That is probably what I’d do! haha