(Closed) How much would you expect to see the bride and groom at a destination wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
221 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s definitely a nice gesture for your guests, especially if you don’t get to see many of them very often. FI’s sister had her committment ceremony in Key West. Two days before the ceremony, they had their bachelorette party which was planned by Fiance and their other brother. The day before they took everyone on a sunset charter with music and drinks, and the morning after they had a farewell breakfast. Obviously not everyone attended all of the events, but it was definitely nice to have the option to spend time with them other than on their wedding day. Since most people stayed in the host hotel or close to it, we also were able to spend our free time together by the pool/bar or just go walk down Duval St. together. I think in Disney, it may be harder to actually get time to spend with guests because Disney is so busy, so it may be nice to plan at least one other little event like a farewell breakfast. Your wedding day will go by so fast (and if your anything like my FI’s sister or us, you’ll be drinking A LOT!!). I wouldn’t expect you to plan tons of things to keep your guests busy, but if they’re coming to see you, it would be nice to offer 1 or 2 things where they can spend more time with you if they choose.

Post # 4
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

 We have a few guests coming to Florida a few days before the wedding to make a vacation out of it.  However we are arriving the Wednesday before because we have a ton of stuff to do before the wedding.  We have to get our marriage license, meet with vendors, meet with the company doing my beach wedding, have my hair/makeup trial, buy alcohol for our reception, etc., etc.  Thankfully my friends that are coming early realize this and have said they  would love to hang out/help us with anything we need help with for the wedding.  We  are planning on meeting up with everyone the night before for drinks after taking our parents and siblings to dinner. 

Post # 5
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think if I were going to a Destination Wedding I would expect there to be a couple of activities pre/post wedding for the group to hang out together. I would be bummed if we all traveled that far and only saw the bride and groom at the recpetion.

ETA: What hotel are you guys staying at? I know when we stayed at Coronado SPrings they had a great pool party with a fire pit to make marshmellows and watch a movie outside each afternoon/night. Or maybe planning a trip to ride on of the boat cruises at Downtown Disney would be fun.

Post # 6
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I love this:

I did consider having a list of things on our website with something like “Where in the World are John & Jane Doe” and I can tell people what our ‘fun’ schedule (ie: that doesn’t involve last minute wedding prep) is so if they’d like to join us they can, but who knows what our schedules will really look like on the days coming up to the wedding and I’d rather not commit to a whole lot.

And I’d want to see you as much as possible, but understand you’ll be busy. I’d hope I’d get to see you at least twice outside of the wedding.


Post # 7
2822 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We are having a welcome dinner before the wedding for our Destination Wedding. We are also having bachelorette/bachelor parties & a wedding rehearsal, on top of the ceremony & reception. Other then that our guests are own their own. We want them to enjoy the time as if they were on vacation and don’t want to plan too many events for them to attend. There are a few excursions that we booked and have let our guests know about through word of mouth in case they wanted to join us. So we have some excursions that we will be taking with some of our guests which should be fun! =]

Post # 8
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

In Disney? Heck no….I wouldn’t expect to have anything planned for me. Good luck trying to get any group activities planned…people will want to be out and about, especially if its their first time there.

Post # 9
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d want to see the bride and groom at some event that wasn’t the actual wedding, but I also understand that it’s your wedding weekend and you’ll have tons and tons of things to do!

Post # 11
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Truthfully, I didn’t mind not seeing the B+G at all when we went to a Destination Wedding. We were actually invited to hang out with them and the bridal party, but we politely turned them down as we had other plans in place. We treat these trips as vacations for us so we don’t mind not being entertained by the B+G.

The only thing we expected (and received) was to see them at the wedding itself, especially since it was 1) small and 2) mostly family (which we aren’t).

Post # 12
109 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, if I were going to a Destination Wedding I would want to be respectful of the b+g’s time- I would think that they would want to have some time relaxing and having fun just the two of them so I wouldn’t expect a lot.  That being said I would probably expect at least one extra event type thing (welcome dinner or thanks for coming day after brunch or something) while I was there, just because if I’m travelling for a Destination Wedding it’s only going to be for a close friend or family member and I would love to see them at least one other time than the wedding.  But I wouldn’t expect at all several things leading up to the big day or for several days afterwards- I would expect that they would want time alone and would respect that, and I would be having fun with my other family/friends anyway.

Post # 13
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’d definitely want more than the time one usually gets at a wedding – which often amounts to a rushed conversation with the bride at the reception while others wait in line for a moment with her. If I were going to a Destination Wedding, I’d want at least one other event or gathering at which I’d be able to get some time with the couple.

Post # 14
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I think one other event- like a welcome happy hour/lunch/brunch would be sufficient- your guests will know that you’re busy!

Post # 15
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve been to two destinatino wedding and think I saw the b/g a lot.  One was a in Thailand and they arranged stuff to do and day tours and did two different tours with us all.  I think this was a special case though as we were there for 2-4 weeks and she really wanted to make a great vacation for us all as well.  The other destination was in FL for just a weekend for my SIL’s wedding.  It was a small intimate wedding and she rented a huge beach house for the immediate family so we saw a lot of them also for the day before the wedding, which was also the rehersal dinner, and then the wedding the day after.


Post # 16
8435 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@pinkshoes:  This is kind of what we did. We had a small Destination Wedding and knew pretty much everyone hadn’t been to the destination before. Most guests also came for the week. We organised a welcome dinner, two tours, our hens/bucks nights and a thank you brunch. We made all events optional to guests and asked them to rsvp to each (so we could plan/book/pay). Some guests came to everything, others to none and others to one or two. It was great to spend extra time with the people that made the trip and I think they appreciated it. As a guest I would feel disappointed that I travelled so far/ spent the money/ took time off and only got to see the B&G for a few hours on their wedding day with everyone else clamouring for their share of the B&G’s time.

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