Post # 1
Hey bees! Some advice needed please.
SO and I are going to a wedding in September, and SO is a groomsman. The groom is one of SO best friends, and we are close couple friends (we see each other around once a week). Their wedding is about 4 hours away from where we live, including a ferry ride. SO will be taking off 2 days from work to help out with all the wedding stuff around the day of. My question is this: how much money would you give as a wedding gift? SO suggested $500 and my jaw dropped- that’s a lot in my opinion! I was thinking closer to 100-200 MAX. also to note, they are not paying for the wedding, his parents are. So, any thoughts on this? Does being in the bridal party mean you give more or less as a gift? What about travel, days booked off work? Thanks for the advice!
Post # 2
I would give the same as if they were having the wedding locally. Maybe I’m stingy but my jaw dropped reading $500. I think I agree with $200
Post # 3
My SO and I usually gift $150-200 together if we are guests at a wedding. I agree with your SO – if he or I were in the wedding party (and/or the couple is good friends of ours) we would be gifting at least $300-500, probably closer to 500 without traveling, and closer to 300 (at least) with traveling/taking off work. Btw I think that their parents paying has nothing to do with it. It’s a gift, not reimbursement.
Post # 4
Just spend what you can afford. 500 seems a pretty steep to me as well
Post # 5
The fact that his parents are paying has nothing to do with the amount of money the couple should receive. On that note anywhere between $150-$300 is a very nice gift.
Post # 6
What does his parents pay have to do with what you give as a gift? I would give $250-300 but definitely not $500
Post # 7
500$$ seems steep. Id say 200$ is fair and very generous:)
Post # 8
I was in a bridal party of a good friend who’s wedding was also 4 hours away and had to take a day off for rehearsal dinner, and had her bachelorette party 4 hours away a few weeks earlier. We gifted 300.
Post # 9
I’ve been in several weddings. We always give $250 if either of us are in the Bridal Party. Never in a million years would I gift $500.
Post # 10
Wow, reading gift amounts on the bee always leaves me a bit shocked. We only received two gifts over $200 and a typical amount in my area ranges from $50-$100. We would give about $100 to a couple we are close with, however, that is the norm in our area.
Post # 11
Thank you for the advice! I totally agree that gifts are not reimbursement, I just know that some people think you should “pay for your head”, and thought I’d give a bit of background. I think $250 would be generous, and appropriate.
Post # 12
MrsBeck: I’m with you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a wedding gift (in the form of cash/check) over $50 in my area. Unless it’s something directly off the registry. My jaw dropped at the $200….let alone suggesting $500 LOL
Post # 13
MissPoutine: Here guests offer money gift, and generally, if they can afford to give 200$ per couple (or more, if they’re close to us) that’s what they’ll give. So I’ll definitely be looking to offer anywhere within the 100-200$ range as well. 500$ feels like a lot, I would expect more like a godmother to offer this amount of money, it is not usual to see this amount, yet it does happen. 😉
Everything else you’ve said (taking off time at a job, paying for a hotel) is, IMO, irrelevant to the question. It is your SO’s choice to take days off to attend. It shouldn’t influence the amount you’re giving. It’s not relevant that it’s the couple’s parents paying either ; you’re celebrating the couple, it doesn’t matter who paid what.
Post # 14
A gift is supposed to be based on the closeness of the relationship and your budget, nothing else. That said, more often than not there is going rate which can be very a very regional thing, and also depend on your social circles. I will assume you are young and just starting out yourselves. Unless you are trust fund babies, or have incomes and savings that would make a $500 gift meaningless, there’s no way that kind of gift is either necessary or expected.
The time and money spent on getting to the affair are not considered to be related. It’s similar to a destination wedding in the sense that one should not agree to any obligations they can’t swing or afford in the first place.
Post # 15
I’d say that $200 sounds very fair.