Post # 1
My sister is getting married in 4 weeks. She just planned to have her wedding a few weeks ago. I am her MOH and she wants me to get a dress that is $150. I am also planning her bridal shower and bachelorette party. I ony get so much on my checks and I have bills to pay for. I am also booking my own wedding stuff becuase I am engaged also. I know if I buy the dress, I will be even more tight on cash. I really wish she would have planned her wedding at least 6 months ago. I feel she will be so upset if I can’t. I mean, 150 seems pretty reasonable in generally for alot of weddings, but this one is 4 weeks away now Is 150 too now??
Post # 2
I personally would spend $200 before alterations (and have spent that much). However, if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. Tell her that you can’t spend that amount on a dress right now and perhaps search for some similar dresses that are in your price range and/or tell her what you feel comfortable spending so she can keep looking.
Post # 3
$150 seems reasonable to me, but then again everyone’s situation is different. And 4 weeks seems like very short notice! I was just in a wedding this weekend and paid $330 for my bridesmaid’s dress. It was a lot, but she did let us know at least 7 months before. (plus it’s absolutely gorgeous and I may even wear it for my engagement photos, I love it that much). Also paid to travel to both bachelorette and wedding. Being in a wedding can get so expensive!
Is 4 weeks even enough time to order bridesmaids dresses? I had to order mine 4 months before the wedding! Does your sister know your financial situation, especially with your own wedding coming up?
Post # 4
$150 might be reasonable if she gave you enough notice. Given that she didn’t give you notice, I would simply tell her that you can’t afford that much along with the cost of a shower and bachelorette in such a short time period, and ask her to priorize what is most important for her.
Are there other bridesmaids? If not, do you have a dress that you think would be suitable for you to wear to her wedding? If so, you could suggest she let you wear a dress you already own. Or, she could agree that you could rent a dress. there are lots of great dresses on http://www.renttherunway.com for $50.
Post # 5
I feel that $150 is very reasonable, but with the wedding in 4 week, I have one check that goes to rent and the other check (2 weeks apart checks) goes to bills. I feel head underwater with this. Plus getting shoes and jewlery and paying for bridal shower and bach. party. The dress is $89, it is online. We can not try them on. Shipping is 60 and to get the dress in your exact size it is an extra 20. Dilvery is 18 days… It would be totally different if her wedding wasn’t for 6 more month, I would spend any amount of $$ for a dress, but right now, it is different. I am broke. I just got back from vaca a month ago!! After I got back, she decided to set her wedding date.
Post # 6
Yes, there are other BM. I asked her if we could just wear any dress that is in our price range. She wants them to all match and be the same color. I have tried everything and her mind won’t change… Thank you for the website!! Hopefully we can find something good!! 🙂
Post # 7
It seems reasonable, but like the PP mentioned – if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it.
Post # 8
It seems pretty reasonable. Maybe you can scale back the bachelorette/shower to afford the dress. If it was me, I would find a way to make it work for my sister.
Post # 9
amelliafay: since your sister really has her heart set on this dress, and it sounds like the short notice is what’s making it hard for you to come up with the money, do you think you could just be honest with her? Perhaps she would loan you the money? Also, if she’s getting married in 4 weeks 18 days might be cutting it close. She should confirm that means 18 calendar days, not 18 business days
Post # 10
$150 seems like a lot to me for a dreas you very probably will never wear again, and are only wearing as a favor to someone! Esp because there are soooo many online stores you can find really cute dresses on for way less than $150. I would consider a BM dress in the 40-80 dollar range reasonable, and anything above 100 I would consider extravagant.
Post # 11
Be honest with her, tell her if you have to purchase the dress that you probably wont be able to contribute to her bridal shower and bach party. It will suck, but its give and take and she cant expect on such short notice that you should put yourself in a predicament financially because of her wedding.
Post # 12
amelliafay: I just spent $400 on a bridesmaid dress and that’s before alterations so $150 sounds good to me haha but I also don’t have cash to spare so I totally get what you mean and having to purchase things at short notice can be really stressful! I put mine on my credit card and i’ll pay it off (expecting my tax return soon so that should cover it thankfully!).
It’s for my best friends wedding and i’m her MOH so I could justify it in that sense.. it’s also a beautiful dress that I will definitely wear again. She’ll be purchasing a bridesmaid dress for my wedding a few months after hers and while I’ve told them they can pick their own she’ll probably go for something similar so I guess it evens out.
Weddings sure add up.. even when its not your own!!
Post # 13
amelliafay: My girls paid $225 for theirs. But we did get a deal on alterations to help balance it out.
I paid over $200 for dresses in the past as well, it’s the norm around here though.
Post # 14
amelliafay: I would spend as much as $200. Anything more than that is too high but depending on how close I am with the bride, I would spend a lil more.
I know some brides who made their BMs spend over $300 on a dress
Post # 15
I would pay $200. If it were more than that, I would start skimping on the gift or other expenses.