(Closed) How Not to Get Your Hopes Up?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
492 posts
Helper bee

I know the feeling off waiting and being frustrated. TRY TRY TRY **motions to you and myself** to not bring it up. I know it’s hard. It’s even harder to not have a meltdown. I think our relationship is always better when I don’t talk about it. Also just do other things to get your focus off the engagement. Enjoy your SO and also your own individual hobbies. I think the worse thing to do is have your hopes up for a day and then it doesn’t happen. The let down is the worse feeling ever in my opinion. I had a couple last year and I’ve learned from them. Now I THINK that he will do it on a couple occasions coming up but I’m definitely not hoping or even looking forward to that. Good Luck!

Post # 18
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If he is getting heavy with the hints perhaps he will propose in July ! all the best to you

Post # 19
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I just wanted to say that I am a HOPELESS failure at not getting my hopes up, so I don’t really have good advice for how to deal with that part.  BUT I also wanted to say I’ll be sending good vibes your way!  That’s my birthday and I’m hoping to have something sparkly on that day too!  Cross our fingers!

Post # 20
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My Fiance told a friend of his that he was going to propose in May (2010). He didn’t until November. By July, I had pretty much driven myself insane, assuming every time we left our house that it was going to happen. I spent 7 months doing my hair and makeup and dressing for “the engagement photograph”…and when he finally did propose, we didn’t have our camera.

I wish I had just chilled out a bit more – it was exciting, knowing that it was going to happen, but it was also anticlimactic when it finally did…because I had sort of sucked the thrill out of it.

Try to focus on something else – redecorate your bedroom, pick up a new hobby, get really engrossed in work, start exercising like a bandit. Anything to take your mind off it!

Post # 21
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

I keep telling myself that he said our 12-month anniversary as a timeline, so 12 months it is. I’m going to not think about an impending question or shiny at all this summer — 12 months is Sept. 4, and it’s not allowed to be a possibility until then. I am really trying to clear my mind of all things proposal. I’m enjoying the summer, and our upcoming trip to Florida, and all of the beach and pool time that we’ve had — and that makes it pretty nice and calm. By telling myself it’s not going to happen until at least September, I’m getting rid of the worry that any time we do something outside the usual could be the time.

I’ve joked with my best friend that if he asks before then, I’m probably going to blurt out “But it’s not 12 months yet!” And if that date comes and goes with nothing… well, I’ll enjoy some vodka tonics.

At the same time, I’m letting myself enjoy the notion of preplanning — that gives me something abstract, yet sort of concrete — to focus on. I’ve got an excel file aptly named “stuff”, and I’ve got URLs and rankings, and price points. I like to look at stuff, and doing this makes me think about that, not when, if, and how he’ll ask. Plus, I know how I am by nature; once he asks, I’ll want to take off in planning, and this will give me a head start to theoretically make it easier at the end.

Post # 22
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m not sure what could make you less excited, but just thought I’d mention that excitement can turn you into a nervous wreck on the day! I predicted my e-day and despite being assured that I was wrong, I couldn’t help but get excited. The only problem with that was that on the day, I was so incredibly nervous and I found it really hard to relax! He finally asked me and it was an amazing moment… Nothing could take away from that but I really wish I wasn’t so nervous leading up to it! Especially since he put so much effort into making picnic food and I could hardly eat anything… I understand we ladies can’t be left in limbo forever but if you’re lucky enough to have a guy that you want to spend your life with and you know he feels the same, or better still he has indicated that he plans to propose soon, I say try to just trust him and relax. Easier said than done, but once you’re engaged it will all be worth it :).

Post # 24
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
@Hope2BeeMrsC: *hugs* But, better to know this now, than to get to Oct. 8, have it not happen, and then wonder what went wrong. Now, at least, you can get through the summer and fall knowing that maybe it’ll be around the holidays.

Post # 25
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It just occurred to me that the guys must find this whole process hard as well. They want to make you feel better, but they can’t tell you what you want to hear. They don’t want you to predict the date because if you’re right, you will ruin the surprise, and if you’re wrong you’ll be hurt. So either way, predicting the date= bad and there’s nothing the guy can do except reassure you of his feelings. Hope you can find a way to relax and not let it get you down. Remember that he loves you and it WILL happen.

Post # 26
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Then think of it as this way… Maybe he’s purposely dropping hints so you think it will be Oct 8 but he has different plans altogether. He will do it before that when you least expect it cuz you will be thinking abt Oct 8! Smile

Post # 27
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@Hope2BeeMrsC: **HUGS**  sorry, I hate getting deflated like that. It will happen when it happens. We can’t help but wonder and get excited about it! sending happy thoughts your way!!

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