Post # 1
Please help. Me and my partner got engaged about a month ago and we are starting to think about our plans for the wedding. We are both Christians so want to get married in a church that has some meaning to us.
However here is the dilemma….
I perform in the music band at my local church. And love all the people there. However I have never wanted to get married in that church as it isn’t a great setting for the wedding and not big enough for the number of guests we want. We want to get married in the other church in the village (where I was baptised) as it is bigger and more traditional.
The problem is that the minister in our church is quite new and I don’t know them very well – they don’t really have much involvement in our lives. However, another member of the church recently became a minister and they are such a close friend I really want them to perform the ceremony. However, the minister at my church has made it quite clear that they expect to perform the wedding and I get a strong impression they would be very hurt if we did not ask them to do it.
Has anyone dealt with a similar issue? I really want my very close friend to perform the ceremony but am concerned about falling out with our minister for not having them carry out the ceremony or getting married in their church…….
Thanks x x
Post # 3
I would simply be honest about the fact that the church isn’t big enough to accomodate your guests. Opting for another venue because of size considerations is practical and it avoids any implication of criticism for your church. I think this would help to limit any hurtfulness and it’s partially true which makes it more comfortable for you to tell people 🙂
Post # 4
@Ozzycee: Think about how hurt your close friends would be if you didn’t choose them. You should pick who you want to. I personally wouldn’t bring up not picking the “others” to do it, but I may consider inviting them or offering them the oppertunity to do the meal blessing(I don’t know how close YOU actually feel to them). If they ask I would tell them that the other church has more sentimental value and their church is just not big enough.
I hope this helps! Good luck!
Post # 5
Have both perform the ceremony and ask the new minister to give a special blessing or if inviting to your reception, ask to give the blesssing before dinner
Post # 6
I would have the one you’re closer to perform the wedding but like almostmrsc said… have the senior pastor/minister give a special blessing… and let him know now that you would really like him to do that..
“We’re really excited and just love our church family so much, would you be able to give a blessing over us before so & so presents us as husband and wife?”
Also, the not using the church should be just fine…. we didn’t use ours and we’ve both be highly involved for years… they didn’t have a center aisle AND I had had the church I wanted to get married in picked out for YEARS lol… it should be a completely understood reason that ya’ll are planning on inviting more guests than they can accomodate.
We had originally asked our Senior Pastor but he couldn’t so THEN we asked our Young Adults Pastor (who we were closer to anyways) no offense taken by not being asked first and they all love us anyways so no biggy.
I’m sure that if you just be open and honest all should be fine 😉
Congrats and good luck in your planning =)