(Closed) How NOT to Treat Your Bridesmaids.

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

are you effing kidding me? “it shouldn’t take you more than a day to get back to me, even if your out of the country, check your email!” SERIOUSLY? ahahaha

I’d be worried of them all pitching in to hire a hit.

Post # 5
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’d definately miss one of the events/parties, so I wouldn’t have to be in the wedding…..


Post # 6
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

She’ll be lucky to have even one bridesmaid after that email. Eesh.

Post # 7
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I kept reading in increasing horror, thinking the last thing I read was the worst thing I’ve ever heard, and then she just said something even MORE awful!

@mayflowerbride13:  I’d be worried of them all pitching in to hire a hit.  LOLOLOLOLOL!

Post # 8
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

wow,  hahaha

that’s all i can say.

Post # 9
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it comes across as alot more awful and terrible then it really is. I think the general message she was trying to convey is completely understandable, who wants to deal with BMs that back out at the last minute, or agree to something only to turn around and complain about the costs. This bride was just trying to save herself all the normal BM drama, I think she worded it very poorly.

She’s giving the potential brdesmaids a heads up for her expectations, what she wants for her wedding events and reminds them that accepting to be a BM comes with expenses.

Post # 10
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011


Post # 11
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I actually think it’s a good idea.  At least she is giving the bridemaids an ide aof her expectations so they can decided whether or not they want to deal with them.  I personally would politely decline to be her bridesmaid but I always choose that option.

Post # 12
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@beachbride1216:  Plus we truly don’t know the context. We have no idea what could have previously happended that caused this email. It doesn’t sound like she is just now asking them to be BMs, it sounds like they were asked well before this and many of the stuff already agreed upon, and then something happened.

Post # 13
763 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@drummerbride:  You’re right, it probably comes off a lot worse than what was intended…but the entire email comes across as though it was written by someone so incredibly self-absorbed.

I get that brides don’t want “flaky” bridesmaids…but to demand that your entire wedding party basically plan their lives around this girl’s wedding is rude. 

Most people choose their attendants because they have a special relationship with the bride/groom.  To tell your bridesmaids that if they can’t afford to fly to Vegas for a bach party that, “oh well, not to be harsh, but you’re going to be replaced” is incredibly rude. 

Post # 14
1217 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She had me at “You all have a big roll in this wedding”

Sorry, I am such a spelling snob, but that one made me lol 🙂

Post # 15
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Happy2bMrs:  I don’t think that she is demanding they plan their lives around her wedding, she is asking them to let her know what dates they are not available for the shower or bachelorette party, because for her it’s important that they all attend. She is also letting them know that once they have the dates of everything finalized she will inform them of the dates, giving them plenty of time to prepare.

Also, as I previously said, IMO this email sounds like it was a response to something that went on between the bride and the bridal party, so she decided to outline her expectations, and avoid further drama down the line. 

I’m not saying i agree with anything she says or her wording, but I can at least understand the intent behind it especially after hearing so many horror stories on here about how horrible some bridesmaids can be.

Post # 16
2905 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

What disgusing display – I hope they all stepped down to make a point.

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