Post # 1
So my boyfriend and I will have been dating for 5 years in 3 months. He just graduated college and landed a well-paying steady job. I’m currently working, taking college classes and planning to graduate in 2019. We’ve talked about marriage and buying a house together quite a bit in the last year. He wants to buy a house together in 2-3 years from now, but he knows that I don’t want to buy a house with someone unless I’m at least engaged to them. It’s just a personal preference that I have- that a mortgage should be reserved for fiancé or husband status. So the other day we were talking and he mentioned that he wants to put down money on a mortgage in 2-3 years. And I told him it kinda bothered me that he was kinda making these plans without me, or at least talking about them as if he was planning on doing it himself. I reminded him that if he were to buy a house, I couldn’t do it with him unless an engagement happened first. And he said that there’s a “very high chance” that that will happen anyways, which is something he has never said before. In our previous discussions about future plans, he always made it clear that he would propose when and only when he felt ready (which I assured him was totally fine, and that there’s no rush- I would marry him in a heartbeat, but I do know that we are still young and have plenty of time to strengthen and enjoy our relationship even more before taking that step). Also, I think he has told me that his parents have brought up the marriage discussion with him- as in, asking him when he’s finally gonna propose to me, which they’ve never talked about with him before.
The above is where we currently stand. We’re both very happy with each other and are currently moving into a new apartment with a mutual friend. I’ve mentioned to him that I would prefer to be done with school before getting engaged/married, but that it’s not a huge deal if it were to happen before that.
Let me make it clear that I’m not pacing around waiting for him to pop the question. Im just curious, with our 5 year dating anniversary coming up soon, and him saying that there’s a really good chance we’ll be engaged in the next 2-3 years (before getting a house). As of right now, we have no plans for our 5 year dating anniversary. We usually just spend the day together doing something fun or relaxing, grabbing some dinner, nothing crazy.
Do guys usually bring their girlfriends ring shopping before proposing? Personally he loves surprises so I feel like he’d be more likely to plan it as a complete surprise. Has anyone here had their guy completely surprise them with a proposal? Was the ring a complete surprise? Did he ask for your input on the ring at all? I don’t really care what the ring looks like, although I do have some preferences on size (I hate huge, bulky rings! Dainty and petite is where it’s at lol) As of right now I’m thinking *maybe* something will happen on our 5 year anniversary, or maybe it’ll be in 2-3 years right before getting a house. Either way, I’m fine with that. I won’t get my hopes up in 3 months or expect anything, of course. What do you guys think?
(I created a little poll just for fun)
Post # 2
My Fiance and I did not go ring shopping before getting engaged. He looked through my pinterest but he went shopping and picked the ring out himself. He ended up proposing on vacation with our parents. I really did not expect him to propose infront of everyone. So for me, yes it was a suprise.
Post # 3
I had no idea a proposal was coming. We are a bit older,I am more than financially secure and have two teen boys. When he gave me my ring and proposed, I was flabbergasted. He had already talked to the boys about how they would feel about hm as a stepfather and they were very receptive. So I was the last to know it was coming!
Post # 4
We went ring shopping a few times over a year period before getting engaged. But we also lived together and very openly spoke about timelines, budgets and etc. So, my original engagement/ring was not a surprise as we had openly talked about when it would happen.
However, now that we are married Darling Husband does like to surprise me with rings for special occasions like Christmas and my birthday.
Post # 5
We didn’t go ring shopping, but he became increasingly more inquisitive about what style of ring I liked and was always asking me questions about rings. I would show him various pictures and I even showed him a jeweler I like on Instagram. As much as I thought I knew when it would come, it was still a complete surprise and I liked that. I knew generally when it was going to happen but when he did do it, it was completely unexpected which was nice.
Post # 6
Getting engaged was a decision we made together. We shopped for rings together and I picked out my own ring. He officially proposed with it 1 month later but I knew it was coming.
I think that the proposal itself can be a surprise but you should never really be that surprised about getting engaged. Whenever I hear of shock engagements its usually a couple who has been together for a very short time and hasnt discussed their futures or life goals together. I think its important for both people to be on the same page and have communicated and established their life goals before they get engaged.
Post # 7
I would have really been bothered by the type of surprise proposal where we had never discussed marriage or goals or anything like that. I need to feel like I’m an active participant in my relationship. I knew that Darling Husband and I were headed toward marriage because we had been discussing our goals and timeline since we had been together for 6 months. The actual moment he proposed was a surprise because it was totally spontaneous. He did not have a ring, was just overcome by the desire to propose, so he went for it. If he had done so before we had been discussing marriage I would have been pretty creeped out.
Post # 8
A few months before my Fiance proposed he said I should start looking at styles I like. I went and took photos and sent them to him. I ALMOST ruined my engagement though by asking a million questions. He was acting weird and not like himself and was secretive, so I kept asking what was going on etc. But in the end he did surprise me on christmas morning with the sweetest most perfect proposal. The ring was the style I liked but nothing I picked previously. My advice is just wait it out, he will do it when the time is right 🙂
Post # 9
We had set a timeline of when he would propose around (i.e., when a wedding would be appropriate – we both didn’t want to deal with planning while in college). Hubs had never asked me what my ring style was, and I didn’t keep a Pintrest board. We had discussed life goals and marriage and children and combining finances etc. I knew he was going to propose but I didn’t know with what or exactly when. Apparently he had asked my dad’s “permission”/blessing in July, and then made my parents squirm until December when he actually proposed. Lol.
Given that we never talked about rings (nor did he ask any of my friends!), he did a fantastic job. He designed it himself. I think the only bit of information he asked was white or yellow gold, lol. Boy knows me well!
Post # 10
Mine was mostly a surprise. I knew he had talked to my dad, but we didn’t go ring shopping together, nor did I know how much ring planning he had been doing. So while I knew he was going to propose at some point, I had no idea when and that day, I was completely surprised.
Post # 11
We did not go ring shopping, but he had a lot of guidance and pictures of what I wanted. I knew an engagement was approaching because we talked about a timeline and his dad told me he in so many words he already had the ring. I was expecting a Christmas Eve proposal but he threw me off and did it the night before.
Post # 12
My Fiance knew that I wanted to get engaged soonish, but the ring/proposal was a TOTAL surprise!
We had discussed it a little in the past but there was no serious conversation or timeline associated with it. He bought me a gorgeous diamond tennis bracelet for Christmas to “throw me off” because he assumed I wouldn’t have guessed he would have purchased both an engagement ring AND an expensive bracelet at the same time. Which he was right, I got the bracelet and was so in love with it the ring wasn’t even a thought in my mind!
We got engaged January of this year…actually the night of NYD 🙂
It was so perfect. I couldn’t have asked for anything more, I loved being surprised (rarely happens to me) and it make it so much more special.
Post # 13
sgriffin76 : I was with my Darling Husband for 8 years before he surprised me and proposed in Canada while on vacation (he proposed two days after our 8 year anniversary on the day we celebrated it). It was a complete surprise given we had discussed that we would be married someday over the years. He loves that he surprised me. But I was like you, young when we got together so I was in no rush to push it. We had school and life to live and both came from divorced families (or in my parents’s case what should have been divorce but they stuck it out).
That being said, Darling Husband went rouge and designed/bought a ring without input from me or any of my VIPs. And when he proposed I was truly surprised because it just did not occur to me that he would have gotten a ring before our big holiday to Vancouver, BC.
We’ve been married a month, today. And he still does a happy dance knowing he surprised me.
Post # 14
I had a feeling a proposal was coming because we had discussed taking that next step, but beyond that had no clue about anything. We never talked about rings or anything so I didn’t even know if he’d propose with one (he’s from a country where engagement rings are not as much of a thing as they are in the U.S.). So, while I was not that shocked that he was proposing lol, the method and exact timing of the proposal and the ring were all total surprises. 🙂
Post # 15
I didn’t know what option to pick on the poll because although we discussed marriage and I had told him my ring preferences and etc I was completely 100% surprised by the proposal. And I was also surprised by the ring!
He picked the most random time (the day after thanksgiving – I was expecting him to do it on thanksgiving). And 3 days before my birthday (I thought maybe it would be on my bday). So when it happened I was just totally shocked! His mom got the whole thing on video and I was so shocked, happy, and surprised!