How often are you intimate?

posted 5 months ago in Intimacy
Post # 16
Member
7849 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

CloverBells :  Lol right? These threads are always like that though. I don’t normally respond to them but felt like an alternative perspective was needed here.

Post # 17
Member
5463 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

tiffanybruiser :  I couldn’t agree more, I usually avoid these threads too, like a pp, it makes me question myself even more, wondering wtf is wrong with me lol. My daughter is three and I never bounced back, though I’m suspicious of a medication issue.

Post # 18
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

CloverBells :  Thank you! I’m similar to you. We’ve been together over 5 years. Probably did it at least 3 times per week when we first started dating, but then after 2 or so years it went down to once a week. Almost 2 years ago FH contracted Lyme Disease and he wasn’t feeling well for quite awhile. We’ve never managed to get fully back on track after that. We’ve been doing once every 2-3 weeks lately, but I’d like to get back to once a week. FH says he has never had a high sex drive even when he was younger. I used to have a high sex drive before I was on the pill, but that was before I knew him.

Post # 19
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

Good Lord, how do people live their adult lives and still manage to have sex 1-2 A DAY!? We’re at about 1-2 a week, sometimes every two weeks if more is going on or something stressful needs dealing with. We usually come to the end of the day exhausted. I know we both wish we had it more, but life takes priority. Also, I’m quite small and he’s pretty big, so I’m usually sore for about 24 hours after and not looking to dive back in right away.

Post # 20
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Maybe once a week? At least once every other week. We have an almost two year old and I’m in my third trimester. Everyone is pretty tired and distracted.

Post # 21
Member
2592 posts
Sugar bee

marydbee :  haha.  I agree. I don’t know how I would fit it in my schedule 1-2 times per day, every day.  Of course we have days where we are free all day long and we could probably manage it, but not on a regular basis.

When I was married to my exH, we averaged about 1 time a week, maybe 1 time every 2 weeks.  Birth control was a huge factor as my drive was pretty much gone.  I also didn’t like him much at the end, so I wasn’t as willing to give it up.  Ha.  

Post # 22
Member
828 posts
Busy bee

Seriously freaked out after looking back at this and comparing my response. Had me thinking that the rest of the population actually is having sex like my FH wishes he was. Glad there are some of you out there who don’t have it every day, even every week!

Post # 23
Member
1983 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

Twice a week I guess. More when I’m in my FW as TTC. D.H works very long days and I honestly think we’d lose the enjoyment if we did it once or more a day. I feel absolutely fine with it and don’t get jealous of the every day people. When we had a few hours spare every weekday evening we probably did it 4 times a week on average. 

Post # 24
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

ladama :  We used to be a most-days couple, but now we have a 6 month old baby so that went out the window, ha!  We still manage to hit once, maybe a couple times a week though.

Post # 25
Member
1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK

1-2 times a month at the moment if I’m lucky. We unfortunately have mismatched sex drives – mine being the higher; I was on the pill for years which masked it. It seems to take a lot of work to get into the 1-2 times a week habit, yet the smallest thing to knock us out of it.

We don’t think we want children, but if we did have one, I can’t help but worry that our sex life would be non-existant.

Post # 26
Member
919 posts
Busy bee

For those of you wondering how a couple manages to have sex several times a day and still be productive: we make time. For us, kids are on the bus at 7:40 in the morning, I don’t need to be in the shower until 8:30 (I live around the corner from work)…we have sex. At night, we go to bed 30-45 minutes earlier than we would by not staying up watching tv, surfing the Net, etc…and have sex. Sex is a high priority for both Darling Husband and I, so we make the time for it. But that’s what works for us. I certainly wasn’t like that with my ex – but my kids were also younger back then and were more demanding of my time and attention. 

Every couple is different. There’s no right amount or wrong amount. It whatever makes the couple happy. 

Post # 27
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

tiffanybruiser :  Dont even worry about it! There are seasons of life. When my kids were little I had a lot less sex. Now they are 9 and 16 its much easier to “sleep in” or “go to bed and watch tv”

Make sure you and your hubby stay connected (whatever works for you), but dont stress about being tired– babies are hard!! It will pass 🙂

Post # 28
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

psyche1978 :  Yes! my FH and I are up at 5am for work and gym. We deliberately turn the TV off and go to bed a little earlier so we can have sex every night. We value it and its not hard to make time for.

Post # 29
Member
2592 posts
Sugar bee

psyche1978 :   Every couple is different. There’s no right amount or wrong amount. It whatever makes the couple happy. 

That is the most important thing to remember.  It’s about making sure both people are happy.  

Post # 30
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Nazareth Hall

I honestly don’t even think we’ve had sex more than once a month for the last year lol. We were TTC for a couple years and once Darling Husband was diagnosed with severe MFI, his drive tanked and then obviously my drive tanked around the 3rd trimester of our pregnancy and never bounced back. I’ll occasionally have the desire, but then our daughter will go awol, or Darling Husband will have a board meeting and not get home until way after I’m asleep. We just don’t really have the time to do it as often as either of us would like.

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