How often are you intimate?

posted 6 months ago in Intimacy
Post # 31
127 posts
Blushing bee

I try for once a week but we can go a few weeks easily if my PTSD is being a horrible mare. My partner has a higher sex drive but he’s very patient and understanding. I’m of the understanding that my friends are shocked by how “little” we have sex but we are generally affectionate to each other and an incredibly close couple. 

Post # 32
170 posts
Blushing bee

Around 2-3 times a week.

I have/had a retroverted uterus which causes sex to be uncomfortable at times, and now I’m currently pregnant and not always in the mood. 

Post # 33
2512 posts
Sugar bee

1-3 times a week on average. Lately closer to once a week. And usually concentrated on the weekends because my husband works long days and comes home exhausted most of the time. 

Post # 34
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’d say 1-2x a week. We work long hours and I travel 4 days a week so even if I wanted it daily it wouldn’t happen. 

Sex is the last thing on my mind most days!! (sleep is generally the predominant thing on my mind) 

But with the hours we work, I’m usually too tired to want it more than 1-2x a week. Even the weeks I don’t travel I’m out the door by 7 45 (6 AM if I’m fitting a quick ride on my horse in before work) and typically not home until 11-12. Darling Husband is usually already asleep as he’s often up at 5 AM for his work outs before catching the 7 30 train. 

I have a feeling that if we both went back to true 9-5 jobs our drives would probably sky rocket. But we like our jobs too much to test that theory 😀

Post # 35
1958 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

During our honeymoon, we had sex every day, sometimes twice a day. The rest of our life we don’t have sex that often. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to. I’d be like calloused after all that! We have sex a few times a week, and usually once a day on the weekends. It of course varies though, with less during holiday seasons where we’re having to travel everywhere to see everyone and we’re exhausted, or less if one of us is traveling for work or we have a big project. But if we go more than a couple days without, we both will try to arrange time and initiate it. We also don’t have children yet, which I imagine changes things immensely. 

Post # 36
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

We are definitely 7X/week or more, but that is not every day. We “double up” some days when factoring in weekends and randy mornings! 

Post # 37
34 posts

We’re typically intimate around two to three times per week. I guess it’s about average since we don’t live together and likely won’t until marriage. We did experience an increase for a while after getting engaged. 

Post # 38
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Even when we first got together at 20 in university we weren’t having sex 7+ times a week. We once did 11 times over a weekend but honestly both of us were really uncomfortable after that and by the end it was taking forever for either of us to reach climax (leading to even more uncomfortableness).

We’ve been together for 9 years, have no kids and work full time 9-5ish jobs. We have sex probably 2-3 times per week but there might be the odd favour for the other person. Most of these are usually centred around weekends but if we have guests or are busy at the weekend we won’t get as much time we’d like.

We prioritise other forms of touching over sex. Every morning we will cuddle in bed for at least 20 minutes. Occasionally this will turn to sex but for the most part it’s a quiet, simple cuddle. Neither of us have a great desire to permanently alter our morning cuddles in favour of sex. Sex is great but for me it doesn’t rule out other forms of touching. For us, my husband is really hot (I don’t just mean to look at) so after sex he’s really hot and too warm to lie next to and cuddle. 

Post # 39
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Lol this thread. 

Usually once a week, sometimes twice, often once every two.

That’s just the reality of people who work 60 hour weeks, who have a house to maintain and a high energy dog that needs lots of walks. We are both super busy and are tired at night. I guess we’re low libido compared to the rest of you but it feels fine for us. We will start TTC next month and I’m going full-on tracking with temps and OPKs so we can concentrate our efforts during the FW

Post # 40
2110 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant and don’t remember the last time we had sex or anything closely resembling sex. 

Prior to falling pregnant we were having sex maybe once a week or once a fortnight? 

I have absolutely no sex drive at all which is extremely frustrating. 

Post # 41
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My daughter is almost 9 months old and I’m sure we’ve had sex maybe 5 times since December. It still kind of hurts and I’m just so so so tired all the damn time. Hoping things will get better soon. I’d be fine with 1-2x a week. 

Post # 42
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Iowa

We are all over the place it could be months without or like 4 times a week. It all depends but our schedules have been very opposite recently so I think that’s apart of it. Before we lived together it seemed like it was almost every time we saw each other and sometimes multiple times a day, now that we live together is like 1 a week at the most and even then not even that. 

Post # 43
133 posts
Blushing bee

We go through dry spells…in one now where it might be almost a month since?  I had always been with very high drive guys, where it had to be once a day and the sex was very demeaning.  Or it’s like you’re on the couch watching TV and your head keeps getting pushed down.   I dated real winners obviously 🙄 

Currently, we are just on different schedules.  We have different work hours and sometimes he falls asleep on the couch which eliminates a lot of intimate time.  When we do have sex, the sex is good.  And we flirt every day, so I always feel wanted.  It’s like the flirting that leads up to sex so honestly it’s my favorite part.  I have IBS so that effects it too, and I got off the pill almost a year ago but am not ttc so I think we are trying to figure out how to get back in the swing.  We did have sex more when I was on the pill.

He says he never had a high sex drive,  but I got with him right when he got sober so I would say i am probably experiencing him at a high sex drive period which isnt quite like my previous relationships, but it’s a pace I can see as sustainable for the future.

Post # 44
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Canada

CloverBells :  THANK YOU for this lol.  My jaw was literally hanging open reading the other responses lol. 

Post # 45
2300 posts
Buzzing bee

So clearly extremely sexually active married bees are the majority responders here, and honestly it seems like everyone who has sex less than 2-3x/week has some sort of accompanying excuse (stress, pregnancy, kids, etc)—so I’ll bite.

we may have sex once every other week for no reason other than my personal sex drive. I’m sure he’d like it more often, but I could honestly go longer; however, I know relationships require compromise and his happiness is important to me. while I don’t really crave it often, when I get into it it’s enjoyable for me.

I am 26, I’m not pregnant and don’t have kids (except my dog). I do not have a stressful job, a stressful life, or consistently stressful goings-on. I am generally a happy person and I go to the gym 3x/week. I guess sex just isn’t a huge priority or desire for me, and I’m honestly okay with that.

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