How often are you intimate?

posted 6 months ago in Intimacy
Post # 47
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have a high libido (could do it every day) and husband has a low libido (would be fine with once a week). It’s been a point of contention for our entire marriage. We’ve done a ton of work in therapy on this issue. We have a young child (3.5) who hates sleep (weirdo!!!) and both work (him ft and me pt) with a home and two dogs to maintain. We are have finally gotten to a place where we’re both happy averaging about 2-3x a week. 

Post # 48
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Twice a day on the reg? Yikes no thanks XD My fiance and I have very similar sex drives and we are comfortable at 3-4 times a week 🙂 But our love languages are physical touch, so we do often get on the couch and cuddle, make out, or otherwise. We enjoy touching each other, but full-on sex every single day is a wild concept XD How do you even find the time??

Post # 49
Member
1142 posts
Bumble bee

The average is about 2-3 times per week. More when we have lazy weekends at home, less when he’s super busy or traveling for work. I start to get antsy after four to five days, so it’s always once per week or more. 

Post # 50
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

For those of you doubting yourselves and your sex life after reading others’ posts, try to remember there are many ways to maintain an intimate connection with your spouse!

I live with severe chronic pain so my wife and I usually have sex (btw, “sex” is a very broad/socially constructed term and doesn’t just refer to penile penetration.. thankfully, because my wife and I are women) 2-4 times per month. My meds have killed my sex drive, and there are some days I’m a lot less mobile, so we’ve found creative ways to enjoy intimacy with each other! Even if it’s just a massage, scratching her back, or kissing for hours!

Find what works for you and your relationship 🙂 

Post # 51
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m gonna be honest. And the only person who knows this info is my husband (obviously).

 

I’m 5 weeks postpartum. I feel fantastic now and I’m beyond ready to go (gotta wait til my 6 week check up next week!) But towards the end of my pregnancy I didn’t want anything to do with it. We haven’t had sex since the end of January 🤷🏼‍♀️ I kinda feel bad for my husband, but my freaking vag hurt like hell because the baby was so low the entire time. 

 

Like someone said, there are seasons of life. People who do it daily are not the norm for most couples (sorry, but it’s true!). I’m sure we’ll get back to a 2-3X a week routine. But the last 5-6 months have been pretty dry….lol

Post # 52
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

happiekrappie :  same here.  I’ve always had a low sex drive.  We manage once a week but I would be fine with once or twice a month.  I wouldn’t want to go longer than that but I wouldn’t want to have sex every single day.  Sounds exhausting.  

Post # 53
Member
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - County courthouse

My husband and I have sex at least once a day, everyday. I like the connection we share during sex and so does he

Post # 54
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

We recently went 4 days without, and we felt so deprived, lol. I mean, it’s nice because it feels awesome when we finally get some after going without for a few days, but it’s not what we prefer.

We both have higher drives, so 3 times a week is really the bare minimum we’re both happy with. I’d say a typical week for us is 3-4 times during the work week, and then anywhere between 2-5 times over the weekend (depending on how busy we are, how tired we are, etc.). 

But there’s really no one-size-fits-all answer, since people are different and have different drives and needs. Just as long as you and your partner can find a frequency you’re both happy with, that’s all that matters!

Post # 55
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

I feel I need to contribute to lower the average a bit 😉 I would say about once a week on the weekend. But we have gone three or four weeks without several times too and it never really impacted our relationship badly. Obviously sometimes we have sex a lot more frequently, but on average I’d say once a week. We have been together for seven years and married for three. 

Post # 56
Member
34 posts
Newbee

My fiance and I started our relationship super long distance which I think has gotten us comfortable with peaks and valleys – when we got to visit each other, we would have sex 3 or 4 times a day but when we were apart we would go weeks or months with nothing.

Now that we live together, we can be similarly sporadic but I’d say we average 3 to 4 times a week. I tend to travel a lot for work so when I’m out of town we obviously do nothing but the days after I come back tend to be pretty active. I don’t have a super high sex drive and I’d say his sex drive is average to high so on average 3 to 4 times in a week seems to just work for us.

Post # 57
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

I’ll throw my hat into the extremely low crowd.  We’re a bit over month 2 and I’m just now getting the itch. Unfortunately, both of us have very low drives, so it’s never been a priority for us.  I will say that we both are on anti anxiety meds, but even before that, it was only about once a month after the initial honeymoon period. Been together about 6 years living together for 4 now and are still extremely affectionate with each other. 

Post # 58
Member
2460 posts
Buzzing bee

We used to have sex 3-4 times a week, maybe a little less depending on how busy we were doing the week. Now that I’m pregnant we have sex once or twice a month for me and I could honestly even do without that. 

Post # 59
Member
9213 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m pretty sure I’m asexual. I don’t need/want sex and would be perfectly happy without it. Dh has more of a drive, so we’ll aim for 1x/week, but it doesn’t always happen.

I’d say breastfeeding has something to do with it, buuut I was totally like this before i had a baby too 😂🤷‍♀️

Post # 60
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Once a month or less. Used to be a lot more years ago. But we are now both on meds that kinda suppress the desire so it works for now. Also got a teenager at home so there’s not always much ideal time, our house is really small and bedrooms are close. 

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