How often are you intimate?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 31
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

abeeinlove :  Beat me to it! Thank you 🙂

butterfly0808 : I get your point, but I don’t think it’s a concern here. Sex isn’t just penetration, as someone else has said.

Post # 32
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I am 34 weeks pregnant and VERY uncomfortable, so our sex life has pretty much dried up for now (both of us are fine with it). Pre-pregnancy we had sex maybe once every 7-10 days. I have ‘intimacy issues’ due to being abused as a child, and Darling Husband is 100% supportive and understanding.

Post # 33
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

On average 1-2 times a week. On a good week 3-5 times. We try to be intimate at least 1 time a week.

Post # 35
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Love making for us can be several times in a couple days or once a week. It just depends on how tired Darling Husband is (he works 12hrs a day 6 days a week). Sometimes we just do it not to reach the big O but just for the closeness. We feel that sex doesnt always have to have an ending to be enjoyed. I dont notice a difference so much in closeness when there is a lull because we are always kissing, hugging & cuddling but we both agree that there is nothing like the oneness of sex & its very important. This is why we dont put pressure on eachother to finish. If we felt like we had to at times when we were to tired it would be like why bother.

Post # 36
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Used to be 3-5 days a week, but now with a young baby we are lucky to do it once a week. I’m hoping it improves a little as she gets older, but currently we are just exhausted and pre-occupied. I definitely feel closer when we are intimate more often. 

Post # 37
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

legallybrunette72 :   prettypirate0620 :  We are the same 🙂 We have also been married about 6 months, but have been together for 4 years, and we have sex 1-2 times per month. We are very close and intimate in many other ways, such as cuddling, kisses, hugging, etc. We spend all of our time together and are very affectionate! 

Post # 38
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

We ~fool around~ in some capacity every day, and I’d say we have sex at least once a week. We’ve both noticed that we tend to be happier and more connected if we’re able to have sex frequently, but it might be a bit of a correlation-vs-causation thing re: being busy and stressed. Together a little over 4 years. 

Post # 39
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee

We try for once every day we are together. We both travel for work so we are only together 3-4 nights a week. If one or both of us is too tired or not feeling well, we postpone. I’ve found one thing that really helps me is trying to have sex at times of the day other than right before bed. I tend to get really tired (32 weeks pregnant) and I feel guilty when I don’t have the energy. If we aim for morning-midday on weekends or shortly after work on weekdays, I am usually much more energetic and enthusiastic 🙂

Post # 40
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee

Average is 3 times a week but we’ve gone a long time without on occasion due to period issues.  It’s natural to have a variation.  It also depends on if you can be in the mood at the same time. Stress can affect it too. Sometimes one of us isn’t in the mood because of that.  However, sometimes with cuddling and no other expectations it’s just happens. We are affectionate most of the time regardless of sex so when we have the long sex breaks we are ok with it.

I think the relationship outside of sex influences it more than the other way around. Also, sometimes thinking about it or anticipating it makes it less likely to happen for us.

its different for everyone. 

Post # 41
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I know how you feel. 🙁  

I truly don’t want to hijack this post …especially when almost all of you are here in the beginning of your marriage journey.

But after reading this post … I thought I would share the single biggest piece of advice I have when it comes to intimacy.

Never forget to show your partner attention and affection. Do it every day. Every week. Every chance you get. Talk about sex. Talk about your expectations, your preferences, your moods, your fears, everything. Practice getting it all right ..and don’t be afraid to change things up to keep your love life lively and creative.

As you get older, and have kids, and settle into routines …it will be the foundations you set today that will create the romantic stability you need later on. I’ve been married for 20 years …and my wife and I have only made love once in the past 6 years. It’s disheartening …and confusing …and upsetting … especially when there is so much kindness, togetherness, and laughter in our house. As a family, we’ve done a masterful job. But as a couple, we’ve failed each other miserably. Passion and desire and the ‘connection’ faded so long ago .. and because we didn’t communicate properly about intimacy from the beginning, we’ve watched our love-life fade away silently. We’ve forgotten ‘how’ to be lovers. And there is no rush or ‘spark’ to even rebuild from. This isn’t something that a weekend alone, or a romantic dinner will fix. This is the entire structure of our relationship that needs an overhaul.

Can it be saved? I don’t know. We both sit in silent denial now …ignoring the problem…cautiously waiting to see if the other person will bring it up.

My heart is shattered. I feel like a failure as a man. And I’m afraid I will never experience passion or desire again.

So please. Make intimacy a priority – from the very beginning – and you’ll never be in my shoes.

Post # 42
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

About 4 “sessions” a week — each session we have sex at least twice. Especially if I’ve been drinking (he’s not a drinker)…I’m kinda….hypersexual and he was married for a few years to somoene who wasn’t sexual at all so he’s having a good time, which makes both of us happy. 🙂 We just got engaged though, so we’re still in sorta pre-honeymoon phase. I’m sure it’ll dwindle a little with time but I dunno…I’m pretty busy with a startup and he’s the only thing that can pull me away from work. haha.

Post # 43
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

jetguy :  OMG I love this post. Seriously — if it weren’t for some glitches in our schedules we’d have sex even more often. There’s days where we wake up to it, then have another session when he gets home from work and then before bed. We talk about sex all the time. He’s happy that he doesn’t have to hide toys from me and that we can enjoy them together. He says he feels so “free” and excited and happy having a truly fullfilling sexual relationship. The concept is new to him, he didn’t think he’d meet someone as open-minded about it I guess as I am. It takes a lot to shock me. I’m very in tune with my own sexuality and that’s definitely something that turns him on, too.

At the end of the day this really IS probably close to my number 1 priority with us — it involves so much communication and trust and I feel like if we can navigate that we can navigate anything. And it’s not all completely rough and dirty talk, he admits to really sweet intimate things in bed and out of bed, like, he loves when we’re having sex and he catches a glimpse of my ring. Or when he’s giving me oral and I run my fingers through his hair – he can feel the ring, and he says so happily that he can’t wait to get married, and talks about how excited he is. It’s when we share our most private thoughts, etc. I don’t ever want for that to stop..I think one of us would address it if it became a problem or we had a rut or dry spell. I think it’s that important to both of us. Because really, you’re the only person who can do that for the other — you’re the only person that can fullfill that desire for ecstasy and comfort. That’s a pretty powerful thing.

Post # 44
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

BubblesandCupcakes :  Have you guys tried anything new lately? I was SHOCKED at how turned on I was about a year ago when I started letting my then-SO tease me with my own toys. He looked so…hot doing it. We had been in a rut and i was practically begging for it after a few minutes.

Post # 45
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2018

We only have intercourse 3-5 times a week, but are intimate at least once a day. We both have very high sex drives

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