How often are you intimate?

posted 9 months ago in Intimacy
Post # 46
Member
973 posts
Busy bee

MeandYou :  I can relate, but not preggers though. 2 kids though. He got a vasectomy 3 years ago and we’ve had intercourse twice – maybe thrice. Just oral and manual now. Because he is too heavy to have sex. It really sucks. 🙁

Post # 47
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2016

joeandmee :  Hey 🙂  I’m truly happy that you’ve found a way to embrace and maintain intimacy. 🙂

I wish I would have approached my life (and marriage) much differently from the very beginning. 

 

Post # 48
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

We average about twice a week. Almost only on weekends. We work opposite schedules. By the time he gets home at night, I’m asleep. I would like to make it more of a priority though. 

Post # 49
Member
3980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

jetguy :  idk why but your post made me sob. I’ve been weirdly emotional lately and that struck a cord..I’m so sorry you and your wife aren’t able to pick up the pieces of your issues…I truly hope the best for you both and hope you can find that connection again soon.

Post # 50
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee

Before my ex and I divorced, we didn’t have sex for 2 years. We were very affectionate with each other (cuddling, hugging, etc.), but no sex. First it was his sex drive, then mine. In the end, he claimed he was no longer sexually attracted to me and could not stay in the relationship. It was devastating and I felt like an absolute troll. The issues in the relationship were not all due to sex, but it was certainly symtomatic and both cause and effect of our demise. It’s very important to be on the same page intimacy-wise. After teh divorce, sex was fun again and my confidence came roaring back.

Post # 51
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

We average about 1-2 times a week, almost always on the weekend. That does mean that if we’re traveling for the weekend or something & we don’t have an opportunity, we can go for 10 days or a couple of weeks without having sex at all, which is the only time it gets frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if that seems low for a pretty young, attractive (if I do say so myself!) couple who have only been together for about three years. But honestly, we’re both really happy with it so I try to let go of any societal expectations of how likely we *should* be having sex.

We’re extremely physically affectionate all the time & there’s a lot of flirting & other kinds of physical intimacy in our relationship that make us feel loved & desired, which I think makes a big difference. And whenever we have sex, it’s always great. It’s hard for me to remember a time we’ve had mediocre sex, much less bad sex. I’m significantly more attracted to him that anyone else I’ve ever dated, and I think he feels the same way. Sometimes when we haven’t had a chance to have sex it can even be a good thing for our relationship, because the anticipation gets exciting. Right now he’s been away for about a week, and we’ve been talking about how much sex we’re going to have when we get back, and it’s really been fun. I do worry that it’ll be hard when we have kids because tiredness is a big factor for us, but hopefully we can get through that period by being open about it & mindful of making sure it doesn’t stop entirely. 

Post # 52
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Cheekie0077 :  Thanks Cheekie. At this point, I think it’s important to embrace the positives of having a life blessed with a wonderful family. We have food on the table, clothes on our back, and a nice house. Our teenaged kids still enjoy hanging out with us – going camping, shopping, to movies, etc. We’re all busy and active .. and we support each other to try new activities, and enjoy life as best we can.

I need to measure happiness by the things I have, not by the things I don’t. 

Post # 53
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We try for every other day, so 3-4 times a week on average. Less when I’m on my period because they’re super heavy. We are really affectionate and touch and cuddle all the time. We both really value physical touch. We don’t have kids, but I’m sure it will slow down once we do. 

Post # 54
Member
1551 posts
Bumble bee

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and DH and I haven’t had sex since last October, before IVF treatments and embryo transfer in November.

The reason is more because I’m afraid. I have a very large bleed around the pregnancy and overall I’m not comfortable being intimate while pregnant because I worry about what ‘could’ happen. 

I will see my OB at 20 weeks and we’ll ask him then. 

I still take care of my DH, otherwise we bicker, but in terms of myself, I could take it or leave it. 

Post # 55
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We have a wonderful sex life, having sex 3-4 times a week. He actually has a sex drive that’s on the lower end, but he recognizes that I am happier when we have it more often. He’s happy to oblige! Our sex life has always been wonderful, but lately it’s been even more intense. We have started to experiment a bit, and we both feel more drawn to each other. 

Post # 56
Member
6 posts
Newbee

I’m really traumatised reading this.

my partner and I have had sex 2 times this YEAR and it makes me worry. 

It has been slowly dwindling. It is making me feel unattractive, not wanted and low self confidence. 

I am 28 he is 37 together 3.5 years. 

If I get a spray tan and some lingerie and literally try it on he will reject me. It’s not  nice feeling.

we have plans for the future and have just got a house so it’s hard to think he doesn’t love me…

He is not cheating, I have investigated, I am not overweight or “let myself go” (I work in swimwear) 

what could it be ?????

 

 

Post # 57
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2016

 

bee879 :  It could be many things … If you need to talk, please feel free to send me a message. I know firsthand what this is like. 

Post # 58
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We have been married almost two years and lately have gone a long time (a month and a half) without doing it. We both seem to be ok with it though and I don’t think it has affected our marriage. We are going through IVF and are tired (or too full…we eat a lot on the weekends and sometimes during the week) to do it. He did say this morning “when are we going to have sex?” so it will likely be soon. We do a good job at keeping phsyical contact though be it kissing, cuddling etc. 

Post # 59
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

We’ve only been together for about a year and a half, living together for a year, but we do have extremely busy schedules and demanding days during the week. I’d say during the week we have sex 2 times on average because we’re so tired and then on the weekend we have sex anywhere from 2 to 8 times or something. Weekday sex is often in the morning and not too long or elaborate. and then we basically sex binge on the weekend when there’s time, having it a few times a day when we can. 

Post # 60
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We probably average twice a week, been together 6 years now. I’m just so tired after work. I like a solid 2 pm sexy time 😂😂 I don’t know why but I love it! But I do try to do it when he asks because I do notice we fight more when we aren’t having sex. But sometimes he asks and asks and I just super beyond don’t feel like it haha!!

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