(Closed) How often do you and your SO fight?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How often do you and your SO fight?
    Never! Rainbows, butterfiles and unicorns covered in glitter define our relationship! : (28 votes)
    11 %
    Once a year or so : (47 votes)
    18 %
    Once a month or so : (61 votes)
    23 %
    Once a week or so : (51 votes)
    20 %
    Once a day or so : (12 votes)
    5 %
    Once ever few months : (47 votes)
    18 %
    Once every few weeks : (14 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    FutureMrsGG

     

    i put every day. but in reality not really. its quite a bit. but nothing ever serious. i see us as two loud very passionate italtian people. plus Darling Husband is gone a lot so it couldnt be everyday but its hard when he comes back and we both have been living alone. you start to get used to it and then you collide again. he has his buisness and i have my job plus he has a huge family thats always barging in. lol. it really would make a great reality show. ;-D but we always always have great make up sex after. sooo i kind of feel bad for the people who never argue. i say when we do we both understand, talk it out and we both try to grow as a person. and im counting bickering as fighting, i tend to say everything on my mind (and i have a loud voice) , its something im working on.

     

    Post # 48
    Member
    3263 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I said Never, but really we’ve only had like 2 maybe 3 fights in our 7 years together. Sure we get annoyed with each other but it’s never something we’d consider a fight. We’ve never yelled at each other.

    Post # 49
    Member
    708 posts
    Busy bee

    Never fighting is hardly rainbows and glitter.

    It’s a lot of holding your tongue when you reallyreallyreally don’t want to, not taking stress out on your partner, and having difficult conversations before they start fights.

    My boyfriend and I frustrate each other, get angry at each other, disagree with each other, have sh*tty days, feel defensive about criticisms from each other, have misunderstandings — you name it. Fighting just isn’t how we navigate those issues. We’ve never raised our voices or said anything hurtful to each other, and for us, that’s really important.

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with fighting or not fighting; it’s a matter of compatibility that whatever your style is matches your partner’s. I would be traumatized for life if I tried to contend with a fighter, haha.

    Post # 50
    Member
    982 posts
    Busy bee

    @FutureMrsGG:  We bicker, probably a couple of times a month. It actually used to be worse before we moved in together. Our fights aren’t usually major, and most of them are started by SO, over his thoughts that he does more housework than I do (he works less than I do so is home more) or that I don’t notice/appreciate things he does (I do, and thank him often!). 

    Some times one of us is in bad mood, and the other will feed off that or take it personally. He criticises my driving (which irritates me NO end. I have never had an accident and regard myself as a good driver), I get annoyed with his because I feel he travels too closely to the car in front, or I notice him speeding slightly. I hate to be a backseat driver, but I’d hate even more to be in an accident or get a speeding fine which would impact us both (we live together), besides, we have one car between us and it belongs to me.

    He finds it harder to let things go. One morning, I forgot he was dropping me at work and using the car. He got up, I hadn’t showered yet. I had a 2 minute shower and got ready quickly. He was ready on time, I got to work on time, he got to where he needed to go on time. No harm, no foul. But at lunch time, he was cranky because I was running behind in the morning. I was like ‘really? That was hours ago, neither of us were late, I had a quick shower and I didn’t hold you up. Get over it!’. I cannot see the sense in sweating the small stuff. I get annoyed at things but I let it go because it’s not worth ruining my day over!

    Post # 51
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @sugarpea:  He does annoy me sometimes.  For example, it drives me crazy that he gets out of the shower and then dries off so he gets water all over the floor.  (I dry off in the shower)  When I’m tempted to get annoyed I just remind myself that’s he’s generally thoughtful and does so many things to make me happy.  Most of the time when I’m annoyed, it’s because I’m stressed out about something else so we talk about that since it really is the issue. 

    We don’t ever bicker though. 

    We’ve both been married before and learned how not to do things in our previous marriages.  I had enough fighting before to last a life time. 

    My dad always says to ask yourself if “it’s a hill you’re willing to die on” before starting an argument.  He’s been married for 50 years.  I think he’s right. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    892 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Eh, if it’s a full moon it’s almost every day until it passes. But other than that, we have little spats because we are both hard headed. Maybe once a week-ish? One of us will get pissed at the other or we are both mad and go to our corners but then we just kinda get over it. Once every couple months we will have a bigger fight.

    Post # 53
    Member
    3870 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Is bickering the same as fighting? We bicker a lot, but over silly stuff, nothing serious, all the time. I’m hot-headed and reactionary, so if I’m angry, I yell or huff, but quickly cool off and get over things. My SO hardly, hardly, HARDLY yells or gets upset about things and will just stare at me blankly while I’m yelling. 

    We have never gotten into an argument that spanned longer than a few hours and most importantly never go to bed angry. Our personalities clash so much that we bicker more than fight. I hate fighting with him, haha, he makes me feel bad!

    Post # 54
    Hostess
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @KateByDesign:  This!

    I am the hot headed and often irrational one and when those hormones kick in I may go crazy. However, he being the cool, calm and collected one will discuss and apologize or take action. We may have had maybe two real fights in the seven years we have been together. I don’t count disagreements/discussions a fight.

    Post # 55
    Member
    2664 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @FutureMrsGG:  I can safely say we’ve never raised our voices at each other type of fight. We get in disagreements like any normal couple, but we usually just talk about it and it’s over within an hour or less. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    265 posts
    Helper bee

    It might seem hard to believe, but we really never fight.  We might occasionally disagree over something, but it doesn’t lead to an argument.  I do get mad at him, but I often get over that before it can turn into a fight.  Of course, this might all change if we’re not LD anymore.  Right now, we just see each other on the weekends and sometimes not even every weekend, so we try to make the most of our time together.

    Post # 57
    Member
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    Disagreements are maybe about once a month, maybe a little more. MAYBE a “blowout” (i.e., spending a few hours apart, any kind of raised voices, etc.) once every year or two. The last time one happened, I vaguely remembered that I was cleaning up my bird’s shit when he decided it was a good time to nag me about something. I just remember waving around a poop-covered napkin yelling, “I am so sick of hearing about it!”

    Hahaha.

    Post # 58
    Hostess
    2998 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    We fight/bicker pretty much everyday but not to the point of apology. We spend A LOT of time together (work and live together) so we annoy each other. We have a blow up fight probably once every few months. When I say “blow up” fight I mean me blowing up and my poor fiance sitting there listening to me scream.  He knows I lose it and will usually just wait for it to pass.

     

    Post # 59
    Hostess
    2998 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @birchwood29:  I totally feel you, my Fiance is the same way. Very cool and I am the crazy one. He will just stare at me in disbelief that someone could be acting so crazy over something so small in the grand scheme of things. I cool off after a bit and he is smart enough to act like it never happened 🙂

    Post # 60
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think we’re averaging slightly lower than one major knock down drag out brawl a year.  We’ve been together more than 5 years, and 2 of those fights were about the house that we’re buying (closing on Jan 4th, yay!).  I attribute most of those two to stress and his meds (known side effect, has since been switched to a different one). 

    Most of the time, we’re pretty sensible about disagreements.  We’ll present our sides, and we’re honest about saying “this is an emotional decision”.  So we don’t get into fights over things unless we’re extraordinarily stressed or upset.

    Post # 61
    Member
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We bicker probably daily, but a true argument that actually kind of matters, maybe a couple times a month.

     

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